what am I to do?!

dah malam raya dah! OMG! I remember like it was just yesterday ramadhan started, and now it is the end. Esok I'll be busy PETIK taugeyh and kemas rumah. haha, I can't wait to eat my mom's famous laksa JOHOR! which she would only cooked once a year (typical mak). I can't wait to see my relatives tomorrow, aunty anna and aunty sah will be breaking their last fast here in my house with my family and the new member of the family which is Ezekiel! OMG, he is so cute! Anyway, I nak study now, this is just a short post!

until then,

Selamat Hari Raya,


wah! Raya is just 2 days away and my shitty PMR is around the corner, how shitty can this be? I am not ready la weyh! But at the same time, I just want to get over it and done with! wah!
I did my shopping yesterday, OMG! That was the best one ever!! I bought two cardigans and like a whole lot of shorts and jeans plus shirts and T-shirts. But my personal favorite is my hush puppies linen shirt! It is like so fucking-ly hot doh! And I bought 2 kasut raya! Thanks to my mom and brother and the duit anak yatim that I got from school. But I think they can give it to someone who needs the money much more then I do. But then again, I'm thankful and hope that you guys who donate for the anak yatim thing will have a MERIAH celebration for raya and murah rezeki. Thank you soo much, I'll repay you someday somehow.

So far, my puasa PENUH and I hope that my pocket would be PENUH with angpow's and duit raya from all of my relatives. Ouh, just now I just came back from seeing Ezekiel (new nephew) he looks all grown up! hahaha.. He will be one month old tomorrow, I can't wait for him to grow up and be all naughty plus sweaty and stuffs! To me, naughty kids are very cute! betul tak?

"Nick nick nick, bila lah engkau nak belajar ni nick.." that is what my heart always tells me. But my mind is like "Nick, check myspace sekejap je. Ouh, pukul 11.30 ada the nanny kat tv" and I'll end up being stupid until 3 am in the morning! shitshitshit!!!

Trials and post Trials are ooooverrrr! Thank god, my mathematics is improving but my sejarah is like shit! boooooo!! And at the last day of school which was also the last day of my post trials, my friend and I was bored then we ended up taking pictures in front of the class. With those sexy pose and the cute pose to hide our ugliness made our day fun!!

And so, to all my readers! "Sir Lump Mud Hairy Rare Ya Eye Deal Feet Three Moo Liar" get it?

anyways what I am trying to say is "Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri Mulia!" maaf zahir dan batin!

apple rocket cherry


Sometimes I feel that my friends and some people are going against me. Is it true?
Please, if you hate me just tell me off la weyh!
Don't go and be childish by taking sides
or just go with my flow, if you do not agree with what I say or what I do,
you can just tell me what I did wrong because I give you the permission too.
But do not take sides and 'berkomplot' to attack me because you do not agree with
what I plan or what I say, a slow talk would be good ok?
If you think my answers are wrong when I say it is right,
Then just tell me your reasons why is my answers WRONG.
Don't go and give up and say "ye lah ye lah"
That's so rude!
And NEVER ask me to shut up!
:ASKED POLITELY:
And, if I ever did anything wrong to you, "ACCIDENTALLY" please do not shout or marah me
because you know that does not work with me.
again "ASKED POLITELY"
boleh?
Do not raise your voice at me,
Do not shout at me,
Do not take sides,
and Do not asked me to SHUT UP!
Plus, I am sorry if I ever did anything wrong to you.
Kalau kau tak puas hati dengan aku kan, kau bagitau elok elok sudah!
Tak yah nak marah marah sebab kalau kau marah marah , lagi aku akan buat bertambah teruk
faham?

This does not goes to you "S"
this goes to all of my friends and classmates

:Don't blame me if I intimidate you:



freedom is mine!


The last paper is on friday at 9.30am. Right after that, my friends and I will stay at my home for half an hour to change their clothes and we will go straight to Sunway Lagoon Scream Park.. Hahaha.. Lame but Fun! We would kinda spend like 2 hours in the scream park. Because it will take time buying the tickets and queing up the line and bla bla bla.. While queing up, I will make reservations for tickets to go and watch some movies there, we will watch KAMI the movie and after this activity, we will go straight to cineleisure and watch mamma mia.. So, thats the plan right after PMR.

After that, I'll be going to JB and spending time with my cousins or you might see me at the hottest spot everywhere.. And maybe I might just attending parties and events and stuffs! Plus, on November, my dearest cousin will be on a holiday in KL. So, I am now a Kuala Lumpurian and I have to bring her to the hottest spot in KL lah KOT!

So by the end of october, my dear friend Saffy will be moving to IPOH.. Sad much?

But on the early of december,my friends and I will go to IPOH and visit her!! hahah.. Ouh and, maybe we will go to maxwell hill or pulau pangkor! I hope its Pangkor doh!! shit!

But before she goes, I am having a dinner party just for her friends and saffy herself! And it is a cuban party yaw!! hahaha.. Dress to impress and hope you got the invites!!

untill then,

my ambitous ambition


I dream BIG! I admit that I dream very very BIG!! But as much as I ever dream big, my hard work and effort is never big enough to achieve that BIG dreams, shittay ain't it? I did PLAN to get 8 A's for my PMR but that is a BIG BIG lost, because I have wasted my times playing around. I know I could only get maximum 5A's and minimum 3A's.. Anyway, I just want to forget about my PMR dilemma.. I just want to achieve my goals in life.. Which I will keep that as a secret and let no one knows what it is.. But there would be one think for sure, you people who reads this will see my face in the business magazine as one of the richest man in the whole wide world.. And I know, I have to start from scratch to achieve that dream.. You people can say that I only think about MONEY and stuffs but at the same time you know that MONEY buys everything.. I choose MONEY to LOVE, because if there is no MONEY, how are you going to support your LOVE ones? Those words like "we have each other" is sweet and stuffs but that does not make you truly happy inside.. I WILL BE RICH! I WILL HELP THOSE UNFORTUNATE PEOPLE! I WILL SOMEHOW CHANGE THE WORLD! I WILL BE A BETTER MUSLIM! I WILL BE HAPPIER! I WILL BE SICK FREE! I WILL ACHIEVE THIS DREAMS!
"MAKESURE YOU MARK MY WORDS RIGHT NOW"

one break holiday


Today was a holiday, BERANGAN nak study but yeah, it is only a BERANGAN.. I wake up at 12.30 pm and straight walking like a zombie going towards the kitchen thinking "mak masak ape ek hari ni" and when I was in the kitchen, I just realize that it was Ramadhan, so.. BUMMER! I went to the toilet and brush my theeth to make it much more PERFECT as it is right now. After that, I went straight to the lap top and signed in my myspace,youtube,facebook and blogspot and do my thang there.. After that boring stuffs, I am participating in this BATTLE OF THE BRAIN sponsored by Astro, ahahha.. Eyh, you could win cash tau! I hope I would win.. So, I was in front of the computer all day.. Waktu buka nak dekat, I helped my mum in the kitchen and stuffs.. So now, I am with Atiq bitchin about our moms and thinking about raya plus we also berangan nak study.. But it is only BERANGAN.. shittay!!

until then,

looking back,

As I was thinking, this year might be the best year of my teenage life compared to form 1 and 2 because when I was in form 1 I don't care about my studies because UPSR is over and I only care about parties,looking good and having a lot of fun.. shitty ain;t it? Because I failed the finals for my form 1, I was in one of the stupid class.. So, at the first 6 months I was working hard for my studies and it improves, sometimes 4A's per exams.. But after that 6 months, I only did okay for my finals and stayed in the same class.. BUMMER! And when I was in form 3, I was the GURU MUDA. Some smart kid teaching friends.. I had a nephew and my mum is going to HAJJ.. But I did not study for my PMR, never close and not even near to the books.. I will regret that someday actually..But of course my results shows that I did not study, I did not failed any exams. I only collected 3D's and no A's.. So, I better study now..

until then,

Fashion for Raya this year


I have some choices about my baju raya this year. I want a knitted cardigan that I saw in Zara, and luckily that similar cardigan is cheaper at TOPMAN and thank god that similar cardigan is much more cheaper at danga bay Johor Bharu.

The slim jeans is also on my wish list I hope that I could get it cheap in JB bundle and not in KL.. I saw this particular same jeans in calvin klein. But unfortunately, the one in calvin klein cost more than my school fees. So, I think I should just search it in FOS, Reject shop or something. Trust me, I am good at searching clothes that looks expensive but actually, you could get it at brand outlet or something, well unless if its couture.
This jersey cardigan is also on my wishlist. I do not know why, but cardigans is like the in thing right now. Like I said when I turn MOD everyone will be MOD. I am a natural trendsetter. hee~ Ouh, I have seen this cardigan in topman but I think it will be somewhere in SEED or BUNDLE danga bay which will cost twice as cheaper as the TOPMAN's price


That black T-shirt is from ed hardy, but unfortunately, ed hardy is not available here in malaysia.. BUMMER.. But I thought I saw ed hardy in Reject Shop yesterday, but the design in Reject Shop is not what I like.. And it only cost 23 ringgit! Plus they only have one design and one ed hardy shirt only.. So I did not buy it..

So, I hope that I would find these clothes somewhere much more cheaper then the original ones. Plus, if I buy the originals it would be such a waste because I bet you by next year I can't even fit to it anymore. So wish me luck for my shopping spray!

until then,

SCANDALS


I hate it when people say "I tak nak couple I nak scandal" or "couple tak best scandals better" or worst "Nick you nak tak jadi scandal I?" The meaning of scandals is a disgraceful or a malicious gossip. You can't just made someone your scandal when you are a nobody. Scandals are made when you are having an affair with a married actor,a rich datuk or even a hot married model housewife and you're being talked about by that secret relationship. But if you're a nobody and you just want people to be your scandal sesuka hati kau! Then it proves to me that you are a low minded chick or dude that only use the IN words and you follow trends that you think could make you be POPULAR or be the in thing! Whereas to me you are just a geek and a social climber of the social wannabe popular scene.

"Scandals are not made they are talked about"

until then,

what am I doing?!


that says a lot about me

PMR is in 27 days from now. I am still watching TV and checking my mails,chatting,myspace-ing,facebook-ing and most of all blogging. What the hell am I doing?! I feel so urgh! This is not how it is suppose to be. I am suppose to study from january. But I have not been doing that at all!! I have been following stupid dramas and going to senseless parties,watching non-educational movies and SLEEP about 12 hours a day. My life is like HEAVEN and it will be turn into hell anytime now. As much as I enjoy myself going to movies,parties,hanging out and having a blast! I just realise those good times will not give you good results for the exams and most of all for the future. I better cry now then cry later, I will study from 2-7 and 8-12 torture myself with stupid history story and geograph,and most of all KEMAHIRAN HIDUP! Which I hate the most.. I can't design things with wood and I cannot make an electronical stuff plus I hate to memorise the parts of the engine. Like wth? Plus, science is like shit too.. terima kasih.. The only thing that I could count on getting an A is Mathematics,English(duh!), Bahasa Melayu and Agama(bonus subject). But my mum is only happy if I score my mathematics.. Insyallah.. But she would be happier if I scored all of it! I will start now!

OMG! I am so embarrass and shy


I am so embarrass because my aunty and uncle read my blog, hahaha..
not only that, this blog has alot of four letter effin words and a whole lot of swearing words plus a whole freakin lot of dirty words. haha.. sorry you had to see that.. -.-"

passed

to my readers,

My niece Nini, just passed away yesterday morning around 7.12 am. I just can;t believe that my niece who has been everyone sweet heart and apple in the eye is not here with us anymore, Some parts of me are sad and some part says that she is in heaven. Well its true because she has not yet even reach puberty.

back on track with little C


hye readers,
I'm sure some of you are shock to see me talking to LITTLE C just now right? haha. Well we make things clear for sure. And guess who apologize first? Its yours truly NICK. Well Nikki and I have make peace so I thought that LITTLE C and I should make peace too right? I mean I do not want to make the same mistake every year right? So, I am cool with everyone right now. And apparently my perfume smells like LITTLE C's boyfriend.. haha..

until then,

turn around


This is the part where the end starts when I can't hold on anymore and I feel like the world is just a super size merry go round sometimes your finger loose their grip then we all fall down. In 33 more days, I cannot turn to anyone for help. I have to sit there and face the music. I hate this part right here, because I can't handle anymore tears. I can't believe that I have grown up. I hate this part right here. Because my eyes are full of tears. I gotta to do it eventually, face the music and live by the rules on earth. Although I hate this part right here. I know someday I will be much more stronger than I am right now,

until then,

wait HOLD up!


PMR PMR is 34 days away, bak kata atiq "I ain't gonna tun to Salma" IDK who the hell is Salma.. But seriously, I am soo freaking scared that I will not get my 8A's.. Whatever lah Nick, whatever will be is just fate.. And hard work ,effort and god! I will study from 2pm-7pm.. and from 10pm to 12pm as well... I will study like I have never studied before, I will prove to my family that they;re wrong and I am gonna get my blackberry.. Ouh, and Saffy is moving to Ipoh -.-"
I know right?! It;s sad,, :((

But on November my friends and I are going to pangkor and celebrate mabuk mabuk there!! woo hoo.. And when the sun has set and everyone is sleeping, I will go naked and swim at the COLD sea.. hahahahaha.. kidding! Anyways, I guess I'll update my fuck shit story and life later...

until then,

Nini.


As I told you on the previous post, Nini is a niece of mine who is the family first pride and joy. She is my cousin's daughter and that made her my niece. And she is everyone;s apple in the eye. But what I did not tell you is that she is diagnosed with leukemia. It happen 9 months before and she did go for chemotherapy and was getting better each time but after 9 months of that painful chemo and that soggy feeling after that is just a waste because she relapse. Imagine all of her hair gone and most of all imagine the "mak datin" very weak. She use to be very active and just like all the kids her age act. But she's not that girl anymore.

And three days before, she complain to her mother that she had a headache that is hurt so much. And so her mother thought it was just a normal headache because if the chemo. And suddenly she scream "mummyyy sakit mummy sakit!!" her mother panic and massage her head gently. After that she said that she wanted to go to the toilet and her mother accompanied her there. She observe that her daughter walked like a she could not see and even put on her pants wrongly plus her eyes was like going left and right like a blind girl. Her mother ask "nini nampak mummy tak?" and she said "tak mummy nini tak nampak apa apa!" a few minutes after that she had a cesar her mouth was foamy and her eyes rolled up. The doctor said that her cancer cells attack the brain.. And she had a slip chance of surviving..

I hope that she would survive and be as normal like she was before..

until then,

save what I have left


Sometimes I do wish that I could turn back time and just fixed what needs to be fixed. But as I was thinking, going back to time does not make things any better. It is just a waste of time. But sometimes, I think that I just wanna go back and turn around and fixed all those wasted times, save all of that I have lost,tell the truth about all the lies and be myself in front of the whole world. But that is just LIFE, you make mistakes and sometimes 24 hours a day is not enough for you to fixed it. So, you just got to let it go and do the hardest part of the process which is just moved on and live life like you have never made any mistakes before. kan?

loves,

until then,