closing the year book,

"When all you gotta keep it strong, move along like I know you do"
theme song of my year 2008: Move Along

2008 flashback:

Family

This year, we received a new member of the family and we also lost one. We lost the ones that is the apple of everyones eye and the sweet to our heart. We lost Nini, my niece that was diagnosed with leukimia.And she was my favorite niece of all the nieces in the world! But when someone just got to go. They got to go. But than, I received a new apple of my eye and the sweet to my heart. I am not replacing Nini, but this is a whole new category to the apple of my eye and the sweet to my heart. Its my new nephew Ezekiel who was born on the 30th of august 2008 one day after Nini's birthday. miracle right? I know,

Friends

My friends was always there when I need them. When I'm about to have my PMR--Atiq, Faqiha and Fatin Diyanah was there for me. They thought me a whole lot of things and congratulations to Faqiha and Fatin because they achieve straight As for their PMR! I'm proud of them! When it comes to my crushes stories and love life, Saffy was always there listening to my whining about my crush and I was also listening to her love life story. But now, she has moved to Ipoh. And I wonder who else would want to hear all my crush stories. Najlaa, Nabilah, Raidah, Nana, Farr and yet again Atiq was also always there when I wanted a lot of fun! They made my day less fucked up. Sometimes they made my day fucked up FREE! And when it comes to hanging out and chilling out, Anne would be the one who I wanna hang out with 24/7 because she's unique and fun and most of all GENEROUS. Last but not least, the one that I can't live without and the one I loved the most, the girl who was always there for me and I am always there for her is Siti Amirah. She is my fucking bestest friend in this whole fucked up world ever! I fucking love her! Well, I love all of my friends actually. They're so sweet when it comes to being there. 2008 would be a mess without them..

Education

This was a fun year. Yet at the end, it ended up pretty fucked up. This year was all about PMR for my friends. Late night studies, tution, extra homework and tension around the air thinking about our future and the stream class that we were suppose to choose. But as for me, this year was all about PMR too and I did my homework, course work and tensions is around the air for me too but to me, I think that I procrastinate alot and to the effort that I made studying, somehow or rather I think that I could get better results but then maybe Allah see my efforts and he thinks that 2A is destined for me than I think I am willing to accept it right now, I'm getting stronger and much more consistent than ever. I HAVE GOALS!

Nick Raja Adam, 15 years old, PMR graduate and he is closing the 2008 year book of his life.

I am Nick Raja Adam, and all I have officially closed my 2008 year book with tears and a little bit of joy. My memories with this book is whole roller coaster ride. Although at the end of my story ended up a little fucked up but hey, thats life right? Anyway, happy new year and lets make 2009 a whole lot better than 2008. ilysm!

until then,

bisikan,

Bisikku pada bulan,
kembalikan temanku, kekasihku,syurgaku.
Tanpa dia, malam menemaniku,
sepi memelukku.
Bulan,
Jangan biar siang, biar alam ini gelap,
biar ia sepi.
Sepi sepertiku..

my life just flash before my eyes,

today was the results. I wake up at 9.30 in the morning and my heart is pounding like its gonna come out from my body. I imagine myself having at least 4As in my PMR results slip. How I would be happy and satisfied. But that was only my imagination, :(
My mum pick me up and she waited in the car as I go to the hall and take my results. At that time, the headmistress was calling out the names of the pupil who get 8As. I see my friends jumping up and down and tears of joy on their cheeks. How fun to be them, hmph..

Obviously I did not get called. So, I went and pick my results and it is a SHOCK of my life! The whole 1 second of my life felt so long when I look at my results.. This is not what expected, this is not what I tend to get. It is such a disappointment because I only get 2As and 6Bs! My As was for english and Agama.

I tried to hold on my tears in the hall, and then I run away and go to the car showed my mum the results. I am so glad that she was pleased. She said that my results was good according to the effort that I had make. She was so afraid that I get a C or D for my history.. But I was still in sadness. I went home and breakdown until I have no tears left to cry.. I am so proud of Atiq because he had gotten 4As for his PMR! congrats atiq!

Anyway, my sister said that my results is better than the rest of the sibling (yeah whatever) everyone just want to make me feel happy.. Its not gonna work! My aunt gave me a hundred bucks for those 2As, I am still thinking "do I deserve those hundred bucks?" What I deserve is a real SLAP on my face! I feel so stupid! I did not expected this to happen.

SPM, here I come!

separated,

What ever happen to LOVE? Why get married when your going to get a divorce 10 years down the road? How selfish can some parents be letting their child think its their fault when its not? My friend N, said to me that her parents are getting a divorced. She was crying, and I do not know what to do because I have never been in her shoes before. All I can say is that I am always there for her if she needs me and that her parents still loves her only they do not love each other anymore(well I did the best I could). Anyway, I think that her parents are selfish! They only think about their happiness and not their child's. Getting a divorce is pointless and stupid, they can work things out. Talking or going to a marriage counselor would get their marriage back on track. But if those stuff does not work, they might wanna PRETEND that they are happy together in front of their child or whatsoever, you might think that I may not understand. But look at yourself bitch! even you do not understand yourself!

until then,

less than 24 hours left,

How's your situation right now PMR candidates? Tensions is in the air for me, I'm losing my confidence and I am having doubts. Will I get at least 4As? or will I get less? I'm biting every single part of nails, my heart feels like its going to pop-ed out from my body, I feel goose bumps around my neck. I never felt like this before. I swear! This is critical! This is much more worst than getting my UPSR results. My stomach feels like there is a millions of butterflies flying on it. I hope that I will get 8A's :,( please oh dear god!

you know you love me,

until then,

less than 24 hours left,

The day that all the form 3's around Malaysia has been waiting for(well, besides PMR). Yes, its the results! Some of you right now might be praying hard to get straight A's, some of you might be biting your nails and some of you might not be sleeping all night for the past few days because you're thinking about the results. Well, we know that there is nothing that we can do to change the results right now, you only have to think about the effort you made through out the whole journey. Did you study hard? work smart? or you party hard? Well I am a little bit of partying hard and half of the work smart part and a last minute FULL of study hard! So, what will I get? How many A's will I earn? What about you? Well, for me I personally think that I get at least 4 A's. But who knows? It's only my guessing. Anyway, good luck people. Your not the only one who is freaking out right now.

lots of love,

until then.. :)

Ipoh second day,

today we planned to watch HISTERIA at Jusco Kinta City. The morning was awesome! I never knew I could wake up at 5am in the morning.. I went for my Subuh prayers and went back to bed.. But I only slept for 3 hours and woke up at 8am. The hallway in front of my room makes the house much more perfect because the hallway has a BIG window and a vintage themed balcony which I am in LOVE with. And when the sun rise in the morning at the hallway window, I suddenly feel like having tea. So, I went down the stairs and go through the dining hall which was connected to the kitchen and have 2 toast and a cup of tea.

After all the relaxing that I had in the morning, I bathed and shampoo-ed my hair and get dress to go and watch HISTERIA. I was wearing my pink hearts polka dots white shirt and a green short pants and I put my cardigan on and just buttoned one button at a middle. For my accesories, I wear my big square 60s sunglasses and a BAMBI necklace around my neck. And so I guess I looked perfect for movies right?

Arriving at Kinta City, we went straight to the food court because Saf's NEEDED to buy some donuts. We shared some donuts and I ate a set of Unagi don which was delicious and Atiq had some yong tau foo that he shared with Saf..

After lunch, we went straight to the movies and watch Histeria.. The movie was not too bad, it's something different than the other malay horror/thriller flick because the story line was ok. But the ghost was NOT! The ghost was not SCARY at all!! But so and so, the movie was not that bad.. I would give it 4/10 through out the whole movie. :)

We went back home to wait for Nabilah to arrived..

After nabilah had arrived, Saf's parents ask us to get ready because they want to take us for dinner and bring us to the flea market! The food was delicious!! Kueay tiow goreng had never tasted so good! Flea market was ok, a lil bit happening compared to some places in Ipoh..

anyway, I hve to sleep now. Gotta go to Pulau Pangkor at 7am! update with ya on christmas eve!!!

until then,

2 guys and a girl,

Sleepover at Saffy's house was awesome! Since her room was soo huge(it was the size of my living room)! Like, who would have thought Saffy who lived at a terrace house in TTDI where it was always flooded when it rains and even Saffy have to swim around the house. But now, she lived in a HUGE bungalow inhabitat by expensive antique furnitures and a little touch of a modern spice. The house looks so vintage and I loike it like a LOT! Her room is teenage vintage themed and it lookeed soo awesome! But unfortunately, Atiq and I had to sleep at the guest room. But that was okay because her guest room was twice as big as her room itself! Can you believe that lucky bitch's house? Anyway, later I'm going to watch Histeria at this place call Kinta City.. Since tomorrow morning we're going to Pulau Pangkor, I need to packed some fantastic costumes for me to party there!

untill then,

model wannabee

ipoh first day

We have planned this trip since before our PMR, visiting Saffy and going to Pangkor island with my friends would be the best holiday ever! As I arrived at Saf's house. I was SHOCK because her house is like an italian villa. The best part is, her house looks soo vintage.. And I love vintage.. Like yeah!

Today i tried the famous mee rebus Ipoh, its quite delicious but I prefer mee rebus Johor better.. Don't you think so? Anyway, tomorrow we will be going to watch histeria and we planned to go shopping at their flea market.. Hope I could find something cheap and nice!

And I can't wait to go to Pulau Pangkor!!

until then,

PMR candidates is it?

results is on the 27th of december 2008 and its confirmed! You gotta pray hard baby,

Fun's almost over

two reasons why the fun is almost over

1.My mom is arriving 3.00am tomorrow morning. As much as I want her home, but I feel like the fun will be over soon. Mom is coming home, so there will be no more late night parties and there will be curfew and most of all there will be no more access to her ATM.. :(

2.Results are coming after Christmas! I am freaking scared waiting for the results! Will I get 8As? or will I not? these questions keeps running through my head since the start of the year. But now its getting nearer soo it means that school is starting over.. Form 4 will be a good year for me. No more screwing up.

But I will have a LOT of effin fun this Sunday until Christmas because I will be on a holiday with Atiq, Saf and Nabilah. We will go to Ipoh on the 21st visiting Saf's new crib. I heard its a bungalow.. WOW! Plus, she has drivers! yeah!! And on the 22nd, we will be going on a road trip at Ipoh.. Visiting flea markets, antiques shop and some vintage boutique that I check on the internet..And it keeps getting better because, on the 23rd until the 24th, my armies and I will be going to Pulau Pangkor!!!!!!!!!! woot woot!! Tanning on the sand, snorkeling under the deep blue sea, partying at the resorts lounge and sipping one of our favorite cocktails wearing fabulous clothes and stuffs! yeah! that will be a hell lot of a fun before school starts!!

until then,

p/s I know you wanna be me right now..

nothing feels right!

"I tried to drive manual, But I failed"

yeah, today is the day where i stay at home being lazy and stuffs, well you know those days ! And now, I'm like on track with it again.. hmph, I can't wait for more holidays!! Ipoh and Pangkor would be fun! I am going there on the 21st until the 25th! But I am only spending 200 ringgit there. Including Food okayh!! Hish. Anyway, if you wanna know the story about me driving a manual car.. You could check it out at www.super-stereo.blogspot.com..

Today I meet siti amirah and her sister! GOD! they're HOT!! I miss them alot. I hugged them like a ton of times. Well, Siti did spill some beans and trash about her today.. But I will not tell you what it is.. Because its too unexpected. Well, maybe some of you expected it. But I did not! haha, hanging out with her and being psycho was soo fun! She was addicted to Edward Cullen. OMG! Which girl does not?!

Until then,

this relative of mine,

I love all my relatives, I really do. But sometimes, the relatives on my dad's side really annoys me.. Well, not ALL of them. My aunty Sah is really cool though, aunty Na and aunty Pah is also not bad. But there is this one aunty of mine. She's the youngest of them all, its Aunty Lo ! Well, its not that I don't love her.. I really do, but its just that she makes a big fuss about the things that I take I as a joke plus, the JOKE is not for her... I have facebook, she has facebook and she should be happy that I add her up. Because most of my cousins BLOCK her from adding them up. And this certainly shows that I am a good nephew.. But the thing that annoys me the most is that she would tell my mum about what ever happen in facebook. And to make things worst, my mum is in HAJJ now, and when she comes back that aunty of mine would surely tell whatever happen in my facebook. Because of the pictures where I hugged girls, with dirty captions and stuffs. -.-" But thank god I think that my mum won't mind because she knows me better than everyone do.. Anyways, yesterday I posted this survey on facebook and I named that survey "When I'm not tired and my friends are all asleep.. BITCH" and there are some other bad words there. But that survey is for my friends NOT for my aunties, well I bet my other aunties wouldn't mind it.. Its just HER! and then out of the blues, she commented on the survey "This is ur Aunty Lo.....Pls use appropriate language...BITCH is not good!!!I see u grow up...!!!!Pls be more tactful."
I really appreciate that she's looking out for me though, but PUH_LEZZ, your annoying. And for the record, she is 40 something years old and I am just 15 years old. Who the hell would read a 15 year old facebook? Except for my friends though. How should I know that she has no life and read my facebook and make a big FUSS about it..

P/S My aunty on my mum's side reads my BLOG lagi tau! And she don't go making a BIG hoo-haa about it.. She keep it cool though, and she makes joke about my blog lagi!! haha..

too drunken to remember :(

Turn the lights out
This shit is way too fucking bright
Wanna poke my eyes out
If you wanna mess with my eyesight
Just let me get my head right
Where the hell am I?
Who are you?
What'd we do ?
Last night?



Can't remember what I did last night
Maybe I shouldn't have given in
But I just couldn't fight
Hope I didn't but I think I might
Everything, everything is still a blur


What's your name,?

Can you calmly hand me all my things?
I think I need a coffee
Better yet, I need to get up outta here
I gotta get my head right
Where the hell am I?
Who are you?
What'd we do
Last night?

(fictional)

bila aku sudah tiada kerja

:)

words that comes out,

break my heart.

unusual you

nothing about you

why haven't you?

been so many things,

could exist

maybe your not even human

these are the words, that comes out outta my head, what does it say?

breath

Dancing in distress,

lets breath in slowly and think about what we did. About the past how time flies so fast, and how you don't wanna dream about how the things that never were. When you don't wanna feel the pain because you might think "what good will it do me now?" Even when we cross the line its like theres a lie that we told a thousand times.

I lied

Why do I keep coming back to you in my dreams and I told you that I'm the one who could have been. I've tried to put this crush in the past. the more that I try to move on, the more that I would miss you and missing you makes me stupid because I did not tell you how do I really feel about you and its been years.

JEALOUSY

Why do you have to interupt every shining moment? Why do you get mad when people compliment me much more than you? That is why I never be friends with guys because the get jealous often. Why do I intimidate you? watch me now, because I'll be someone new. I am sick of you taking me as your competition. I am not a competition! I am your friend! can't you see? People gives me attention more than they do to you because I am being myself and I use it to make people happy not to make you jealous. I have a million and a lot of better things to do than make you jealous. You could play this competition by yourself because I'm winning anyway. So, is that what makes you mad? Because I am the one who wins the most? Please,why are you wasting time competing when you have plenty of time to show your specialties? You've got what I got and I know that you got what I got. Now, let that thing be free inside of you. Stop competing against me. Because you know what? Friendship is not about competing its about supporting! In case you haven't notice. :)

this explains every chapter:

"I can't figure out. I made mistakes and regretted but why can't I move on yet? I'm here feeling lonely wearing a mask to make me happy I'm dancing in distress."

"I dream that you and I will be together until death do us part but why am I dreaming to the things that will never be? its like I'm lying to myself. I hate it when I lied."

"I have flaws but I hide it. I show my perfection to the world and they see it. My armies have jealousy issues because of me! So, should I show my flaws to the world and you could be happy?"