nicobynick changed.

I've moved to another blogging world. TUMBLR land! Its more fun there. I love you blogspot! You and I have great memories together. Click the link below to view my new blog:

Coffee and Cigarettes

This is my last post here.

there is always this two words that I type at the end of every post and this will be the last one here.

UNTIL THEN,

M I R A C L E

Hello readers, sorry for not updating this blog lately because I was in JB. It was a last minute thing, It was a wednesday evening when I was just taking my nap. Then, my mom started waking me up in an annoying manner she said that my uncle was in a critical condition so she asked me to pack my bags because my aunt is going to pick me up in another 15 minutes. So, I pack 3 undies 1 baju melayu 1 shirt and 2 pair of jeans. I bathe and put on my Halloween jubah and waited for my aunt and at 6pm we went to JB.

Arrived JB around 10pm, my heart was pounding at times like this because it scares me. I do not know why, but it just do. I went inside my uncles house and salam all of my relatives. Some which I hate. Well, you know who. Anyway, I went to his room and saw him very weak. Its like he was in pain. WAIT! He is in PAIN! I wanted to approach him but I just can't because I'm afraid that I might cry. So, I just stood beside his bed and prayed to god to not let him suffer. He is a very religious man and I respect that because he use to be like my cousins and I, WILDCHILD and always gets into trouble and I don't think that he deserve to suffer like that.

After that short visit, I went to Aqeels room and bathe. Yes, I love bathing. I pamper myself in the toilet with that cold water. Its refreshing! You should try it sometimes. Then, I went back to his room. He saw me and he said "Hi nick" I tried to avoid because I was too afraid to see him but I force myself to hold that tears behind my head and I replied "hi wak lil" and sat beside him. He held my hand and whispered "Jaga aqeel baik baik, jangan main je. Jaga diri and jangan lupa solat." I replied "insyallah" and then I let him rest.

That was a relief.

I slept in that cold room upstairs with no blanket or sweater. I could practically freeze to death. Woke up at 5 something and perform my subuh prayers with my relatives. Obviously, I went back to bed.

On Thursday, people started coming over to visit him like alot! Relatives which I do not know off, my dad's friends and everyone who was everyone was there to visit him. I spent the day playing with Ezekiel and with my annoying little cousins. Hanging out with the big ones and fooling around with Aqeel and Fathin. We found out that their little brother have a crush on this girl named Atiqah or something. It was funny btw, when he said that she never spoke to him and when Aqeel said that he writes her name on the calender or something similar to that effect.
Thursday was fun,
We got lost of wanting to go to McDonalds. Yes, Thanks JB cousin who does not know the nearest Drive Thru McD. -.-" They said it usually takes them about 15 minutes to get there. But at that night, it freakin took us an hour! We had supper and shared memories of the old days and compared McDonalds in Malaysia and in Singapore.

I was supposedly to go home on friday at 8am. But something happen. My uncle was really really sick. It was like he was about to go. I mean, if he did go he looks kinda ready. He looks like he is ready to go. He repent, left his will, never missed any prayers and he zikirs alot. That is how I want to go. Plus, all of his family members were beside him. It was emotional and scary all at the same time but it did look like a perfect way to go and it was a FRIDAY. So, we all canceled our plans to go back home on that day because I think everyone was prepared for the worst to happen. We left him in his room and let him rest.

I went to sleep on that night at 2am because there was a blackout and my cousins were telling ghost stories which is still running in my mind right now. -.-"
Woke up today at 5am, I was very very sleepy to solat. But, I had to. I took my wuduk and sat at the sofa and closed my eyes.

And then,

"Assalamualaikum!"

It was my uncle WALKING towards the living room looking very very GOOD and wanting to solat berjemaah with us. My closed eyes were WIDE open. See, how miracles happen?
After solat, there was a mini tazkirah. I went back to sleep at 7.20 and woke up at 11.00am.

After maghrib, I packed my bags and salam all my relative and was prepared to go home. I was searching for my uncle but he was not in his room. I asked Aqeel, and he said my uncle was outside. I went outside and saw him walking at the garden. It was a miracle! I swear! If only you readers could see what he went through on that friday afternoon you would be shock that he is now actually WALKING and was ALERT to his surroundings. I hugged him and he told me to take care of myself.

See, if you pray and you repent and you remember Allah always. Miracles happen. And when it does in front of you. It really opened your eyes and makes you wanna repent too.

until then,

nirvana influenced

I don't wanna be pop and preppy anymore. I'm grunge. I love nirvana and I think I have a boy crush on kurt cobain :0

Kurt Cobain is my new idol.

Metric and Lady gaga is my past. I still love them though. :)

until then,

Manic Monday does not exist anymore!

Finals are over, yes congratulations to you Science student. I've taste freedom since last thursday. Believe me, you can never get bored of it.

Saturday was halloween. My friends and I planned to go for the American Rejects concert wearing costumes. haha. But we did not. When people asked me that day what was I on Halloween, I answered Pete Doherty. -.-"

The concert was OKAY. World stage was much better. The band was late and the crowd was kinda boring. But it was fun though. Got back home at 4am. Yasmin, Fitrah and I went lepak at starbucks time square while waiting for my bro.

I'm in JB now. Hanging out with the cousins. I'll be home maybe tonight. See ya!!

until then,

Pornographic Dance Fight.

One more disc left, then I've covered ALL of the Gossip girl season 2 dvd. No wonder they say I'm a male version of Blair. She is a manipulating childish bitch! Not proud of it though. I am Chuck Bass. Wait, no! Chuck Bass is so everyone. The whole school wants to be Chuck! Nate is too gay and Dan is too stupid and boring. I guess the MALE version of Blair would be fine.

I bet you might say that I'm too much influence by Gossip Girl. Since I wanna live in New York specifically in the Upper East Side and stuff like that. But, you have seen nothing yet. haha.
There is this blog called Gedik Girls where she pretends that she lived like those characters in GG. And I think she made all the stuff up because she copy paste everything that is on Gossip Girl. OR. She might have learn the script all by hard. Its hilarious. I mean, seriously? gedik girl? How kampung could you be? ok, I would expect such behavior in my town SHAH ALAM. But GG is in Hartamas! HAHA! Hartamas people, is so out of my list now. No offence to you people who have been my friends and has been living in hartamas ur whole life. hehe.

Ok, enough making fun of our people.

I am going to American Rejects concert YAW! In less then 2 hours I'll be sweating my ass off dancing. School has practically ended since I have got the GREEN light to cut school from mom. Mom just told me about my uncle. I feel like I have to be there for my cousin. I kinda know how it feels like. And, good news to them. I will be there soon! We could talk NO EMO stuff aite?

My head is spinning. Damn! I need to eat! I have been puking the lamb out of me since yesterday. HAH! Kidding. But, my head is spinning. Oh gosh! I just remembered that I should wear something nice fr the concert. Where did that rolling stone t-shirt go? I don't need to be preppy there. Loosen up a little. My brother took my belt and jeans don't come in size 27 no more for males! I'm wearing a 29 now. Urgh. Need to find a belt.

Mom went breakfast without even asking me if I wanted to go. I'm left here with butterscotch bread and peanut butter. What a nice breakfast. I know!

So, I'm signing out now. Butterscotch bread is calling me. I am hesitating every step to eat that thing again. But MOM left me no choice.

until then,

Nico

Lady gaga is AWESOME(!) She's so unique and cool, she may not be the hottest girl alive but damn is she cool. She's super duper cool! Her songs are so David Bowie-esque and Queen inspired. Love it!

I'm finally free from examinations! Yes! AT LAST! Going to school on the 6th of november to hand in my text books. I'm going to American Rejects this Saturday! Part of me is excited and a part of me feels rather guilty. I'm kinda broke right now. SO yeah.

Transportation, food and stuff like that ya know.

Since examinations are over, I'm going to walk to Atiq's house to borrow his GG cd's.

until then,

Positive.

Woke up in the morning with a semi-shocking news from mom. This makes my heart kinda worried. Arrived home with THE shocking news from mom. Called my cousin but he never picked up. I hope that everything would be ok. Because god is the greatest and he knows what is best for us.

Anyway,

I studied science yesterday from 10pm to 4am. Thank you god, science was ok. Its either an A or a B+ but my instict tells me that its gonna be an A. Thanks to yasmin also because she let me copy her paper. Well, like they said "Jangan Kedekut Ilmu" 6 more papers left in 3 more days. Then, freedom would be all mine!

The teacher practically was asleep in the classroom. So, we were passing notes to each other and ask our friends the answers. Yasmin was obviously my aim. Sya was having a mini panic attack. She literally CAMPAK yamin;s pocket notes out of the window because as she was about to copy the answer from the pocket notes, the teacher was wandering around. So yeah. Knowing SYA. You would kinda expect what shes going to do next.

Tomorrow, H I S T O RY! I will, I will get an A for this!! Please oh dearest god, I don't only pray to you just when I need you. I am going to start talking to you everyday all day! Okay, maybe not everyday all day. But, I will remember you is my mind MORE often!! Just give me the A for sejarah!

I gtg now, time for my nap. Tuition at 5.

until then,

Head Hurts,

4 more days to go. Finals examination will be over soon! 9 more papers in 4 days! Boo-hoo! Crossed out school. I have not studied a thing. My head hurts like hell! Its not migrane, its an awful head ache. This head ache could win an award for the most painful head ache that a head could ever have. My tummy hurts too! PERFECT! Its the cherry on top of my ice cream. I'm so going to study right after this. Red bull anyone?

OMG! Now, my ear hurts.

Today was suppose to be Beyonce's concert. But you know us malaysia, if theres cleavage theres SEXY. But, our people are allowed to wear bikini's at sunway lagoon. I don't get it. But, whatever politics are stupid. Its like backstabbing everyday.

I need to have fun! Party, after the examination. I will be going bar hoping and dance all night long. Anne, get your car ready. I'm bored of books.

It has been 2 days, two freaking days since I last have ciggarettes. Short of money to buy a box of ciggs. I would feel guilty asking for mom's money to buy ciggs. One more week untill allowance day!! 170 ringgit, here I come!

I'm going to study now,

until then,

I'm all about love.

Drama's seems to be playing around with my life lately. Well, this does not brings me down and I don't feel any sadness facing dramas. I don't feel stress or whatever because there is more to life then talking about others. Yes, gossip is pleasure. But when you gossip about your friends, that is backstabbing. I do not do backstabbing. But I do talk about my friends. So, where does that put me?

The thing is, I've been back stab once in my whole life with my friend when I was 14. That was the worst backstabbing experience ever! Then, somehow it makes me more mature and friendly. Besides that, being backstab also helps you to know who your real friends are.

Am I correct?

I agree that I may seem very mean and sort of a bitch sometimes. Wait, all the time. But that does not mean I'm not a good friend. See, how they judge me? One person ignores another when I'm here being friendly and the another person blames me of being the mastermind of all this plan. I'm not. I never planned anything. I am here to help a friend. I am always here to help any friend.

Because, the last time I check and heard-- That is what friends are for.

Just when I plan to spend my holidays with you cool people. But because of this one thing. Each of us hate each other and each of us feels insecure.

Good luck for them finals.

until then,

Eh, eh theres nothing else I can say.

Sorry bitches and butch. I've been kinda busy and lazy all in one body--See, it even rhymes. I've been busy going to open houses from one to another and I've been lazy to blog. Plus, I'm trying to push myself to study right now.

A lot has happen lately, like last week I was feeling kinda down and sad because people called me a fabio and stuff. But, praying really solved everything. So, I prayed to god to make the sadness go away. And somehow it did.

I've made a lot of new friends in the past 2 weeks. 4 of them are from kajang and one of them is the reader from this blog who lived in section 3, you know who you are megan fox. Luckily, those new people are cool and fun to be with.

FINALS! yes, my final examination is kinda around the corner. So, I have to study and study 24/7. Since its kinda around the corner, so my bro changed the laptop password. This means, I'm grounded from the internet. This world is cruel!

Anyway, I got to go now.

until then,

Well I thnk its true.

"Nick ni rupa je ada otak tade. Your such a fabio" And people laughed :(

Its been a long time since I blog. Anyway, I'll be away for quite sometime since finals is just around the corner.

Anyway, a friend of mine just said that I'm a fabio and people agreed! Fabio means bimbo. Fabio is for guys. And I'm a fabio?

You know there is this new friend of mine whom I just met last week I think. I envy him a lot. He does not only have that look, but he's smart and kind and what a man should be. While I smoke, gossip and kept thinking that gua hirak is in Ipoh -.-" since yesterday that my friend told me it was in Mekah! Hirak and Perak it rhymes. So, don't blame me. Not only that, the new friend of mine is just baik! I never have a guy friend who is so kind that sometimes its annoying. Even Atiq is slowly becoming bad. I envy smart guys.

Do you think that I'm a fabio?

until then,

Its Already Raya!

The day that I have been waiting for since the month of June :) Its RAYA! I never thought that this feeling that I'm feeling right now could happen. This feeling is kinda strange for me to feel during Raya. I feel, sad. Ramadhan is ending, and this ramadhan to me is the hardest because I actually completed fasting the whole month since 3 years. Yes, since the last 3 years I have not been fasting a full month. Maybe twice a week. But this year, its different. Its like god is trying to guide me to the right path. I;m thankful. Yes, I will try to be a better person. I will try to avoid the things that I use to do before. I'm sad because this could be my last ramadhan if god forbids. I'm sad because I miss my dad. At times like this, when my family gets together eating and preparing for raya is when I miss him the most. He would be the one so happy preparing for raya, he would help clean up the house in JB because its a tradition in my JB house to have an open house on the 1st day of raya. But since now we're in Shah Alam, things change and yes I've learn to accept it but I do miss the old times. I miss my dad so much, maybe during ramadhan his presence was near me and I often dreamt and think about him during ramadhan and now since its the end, I think that he's gone. Maybe its just my imagination. But yeah I could feel him.

I'm sorry if I did not pray 5 times a day for you dad. Maybe this is why I;m sad, because he is sad. Because I did not pray enough for him. I feel guilty.

But oh well, he is still in my memories and my heart. Life goes on.

Enough emotional stories. Now lets be HAPPY!
Super mom cooked Laksa Johor, Rendang Ayam and Sambal goreng pengantin today! It was effin nice! I love it! I just finish cleaning up the kitchen. And now, I'm blogging.

I hope this year's raya would be FUN! And of course those angpows! I hope I could at least get 500 :)

until then,

space.

If I see you next to never, how can we see forever?

you know its just hard.

What you did was what I never expected you to do. Your actions ain't human nature and you call yourself my friend. Why should I respect you when you don't even respect yourself? And from this day onwards, yes your my friend but I won't look at you the same way and you just lost my respect.

I'm sorry. But I thought you were different.

until then,

Hair Short

Its almost 3.00am.

Anyway, this morning I had an instinct that there would be something going to be very exciting, sad or just somehting different is going to happen to me. So, I sort of pampered myself in the toilet at 5.30am after sahur. I wash my face with clarins and cetaphil, use soap and body wash and I spend 30 minutes on the hair. Shampooed, conditioner and moisterizer and my hair was shiny! I air dried it and it was super smooth and wavy and bouncy. Just the way I like it.

Since I spend almost an hour in the toilet. So, I was late for school. I arrived there at 7.35 and the ustad caught my long hair. Actually, he did not. My friend who was envious of my shiny long hair told the ustad and then, I got caught. Yes, Kepam told the ustad.

At least he did not cut my fringe off. He only trimmed my side burn and some parts at the back. It was horrible! It looks like a mouse ate my hair.

It ruin half of my day already. I will never ever talk to Kepam ever AGAIN!

Anyway, the day went well. I went back home at 12.15 because I was lazy to stay at school until 1.00pm and I called my mother to pick me up and told her that my eyes were itching. Well, it did. Then I went home and slept until buka.

When I woke up. My sister and Ezekiel was there. I played with him and bullied him until isyak. After that, he went home and my mom went to terawikh. My mom gave me 10 bucks to go and cut my hair. But the barber shop was quite far. So, I drove to the barber shop. HAHA. Well, my mom does not have to know.

I mean, I planned to go to the barber shop. But I went to Manja at PKNS. It cost me more than 10 bucks. And the haircut looks ok. The man/women whatever it is did not cut my fringe and he/she only trimmed my sideburn, the back and the top of my hair. I kinda like it. Because it makes not much different than my old hair.

I rush back home and my mom was still at the mosque.. WHEEW.

Sneaking Driving is FUN! haha and illegal of course. But FUN!

until then

I'm bacckk!!

Its been a while. I know. I've been lazy and busy. 

well, nothing interesting happen lately. But yesterday, I went shopping with Atiq and Nabilah.

We went to Bukit bintang, sungei wang and pavillion. Nabilah brought us to this cool underground shop which to me is like topshop the second and its cheap. I can't really tell you where it is because this place looks like a store on the outside but on the inside, its kinda like a vintage theme inspired place. Very 60s and 70s and cheap. I bought this Checkered Shirt which was really similar from topshop but mine cost only 35 ringgit. I wanted to buy the rolling stone fitted tee but not for raya. I'm going there this wednesday ! And I'm gonna buy the red blazer like Chuck Bass's wore in gossip girl :)

We went to BB mall and shop. Well, at least Nabilah did. I mean, the fashion now is all the same. Checkered shirt and the V neck t-shirt like they sell in topshop. Its all over the store! So, nothing really thrills me there because now I already have 5 checkered shirt and 2 V-neck t-shirt. So, we thought by going to pavillion, it would make things better. So we did. And its the same there too! What the hell right? And everyone is IN to topshop these days. I was thinking to buy that fitted navy blue blazer but there was a long queue. VERY LONG! 

So, I went to forever 21. Nothing thrills me there too! It seems like I have everything. Except leather jacket. I was thinking to buy leather jacket. But sadly, I live in Malaysia and its hot here. That is why I always were small clothes and shorts and flip flops. 

I was in KL for 3 hours now but I only bought one checkered shirt. And I bought it because its different than the other typical wannabe checkered t-shirt. I was tired and hungry. I was in a very bad mood. Its 6.45pm and we were out of pavillion. Nabilah and Nab went to Pizza Hut and Atiq and I went to McDonalds. It was a fullhouse! I was bummed out. So we went to Lot 10. I thought the food court there was air conditioned and stuff like that. But it was at the parking lot and it was smelly. The food was not nice. And I only ate fried chicken, curry and ikan bilis. My mood was not really good.

Then we went to ROMP. I helped Atiq pick a shirt and he tried it on. He bought this shirt which was really similar to mine but mine is white and his is brown. Anyway, as we were about to leave. I saw a black cashmere fitted pullover and I was in love. haha. It was only 60 ringgit and I bought it. After that, we went to BB plaza again to search for our shoes or pants. Atiq bought a white short pants. Well, not short but quarter. And I bought a black skinny jeans which looks like a tight when I wear it. Atiq borrowed me 30 ringgit for the skinnys because it costs 60 ringgit! And I will pay him back again by tuesday. 

After that we went home. It was okay. I only bought 3 things. I'm going there again this wednesday. To buy that red blazer and 2 rolling stones and marilyn monroe t-shirt. Oh and I want them gladiators.

until then,

obsessed.

There is this new girl her name is A, well she just started moving here this year and she moved back to her old school last 2 weeks ago. Anyway, she is friends with those losers bitches that we all hate. You know, the ones who can't keep their mouth shut and wants attention all the time. The kampung ones. So, she was my classmate. I never had a problem with her though. She seems very normal. I mean, very normal to join in those losers lah kan.

So, she moved to section 24 and she was put in the same class with my friend Azwan. Azwan is Shasha's boyfriend. Remember Shasha? The skinny girl who sometimes wears tudung and sometimes doesn't? Yeah her. Well, she's my ex-classmate and my ex-schoolmate. So, Azwan was being friendly I guess and ask A who was she friends with when she was schooling in section 9. And A did not know that Azwan was my friend.

Guess what that social climber said,

She said that she's my bestfriend and she is very close with me and my other friends such as Nikki, Sya, Siti and Yasmin. She said that me and her often hang outs and stuff.

-.-"

Azwan told Shasha about this and Shasha told Yasmin and Yasmoin told me. What if A knew that Azwan was my friend? She must be embarrased. Because everyone knows that I am not friends with her. Not as in NOT FRIENDS NOT FRIENDS. But as in, I barely even said one word with her in one day. I maybe talking to her if I needed a pencil or pen or something else.

But, oh well. Who doesn't want to imagine that they hang out with me? I'm like Nick Raja Adam. haha.

ok, done belagak-ing.

until then,

I'm just mean.

What my friends thinks about me:

1. Siti thinks I'm sweet.

2. Atiq thinks that I love attention

3. Anne thinks I'm the most greatest friend ever.

4. Sya thinks I'm cute

5. Nikki thinks I'm funny.

6. Yasmin thinks I'm sexy.

what do you think about me?

until then,

1st september

I can;t wait to go for Raya shopping. Since the last time I went shopping was before the spade party and I did not get the leather pants I wanted since I have fallen in la la love with the short pants that was similar like the ones in Jil Sanders fashion show.

:)

I need, Leather pants oh yeah and 2 new pair of shades. I want that Lady gaga look alike mickey mouse shades. I saw it yesterday on sale in parkson. Much more better than lady gaga's. Anyway, the reason why I need shades because my cousin sat on my Forever 21 shades -.-" And the blue one is getting boring and out of style.

I need fisherman sandles and skinny black jeans and a dark blue shorts. I need about 5 graphic tees and 2 shirts and oh! My cashmere sweater is missing. So I need a new one :)
A new shoes. Not sure what style. But I need it :)

and I'm done :)

until then,

30th and the 31st of August.

30th of August 2009:

Woke up quite early because my mom wants me to accompany her to the market since its my nephew Ezekiel's first birthday and there were 4 families that is going to come to my house for buka. So, its like a small gathering for Ezekiel :)

I went home and bathe. After that I heard a loud MA MA MA. I went out of my room, and there he was. My mini me :) the apple of my eye and my sweetheart--Ezekiel :)
He was a little bit cranky because he just woke up from his nap and then knowing my family who was loud. He was awaken. My brother bought him a chu chu train that goes round and round on its track. It was cute btw. Ezekiel apparently did not played with the train, but the box -.-"

Since my other sister zaza and I have not bought a present for him yet. So, at 5.00pm we went to Subang Parade because theres toys r us there. Toys nowdays are so not fun ok! Its all about science and some stupid tembak2 thing that you can buy at a pasar malam. It was so not worth it. Then we decided to go to parkson. Parkson's was better. We bought him a mini basketball court where the basket can talk and keep scores. Killa cool!

And then, we went for glasses shopping. Well, at least my sister did. I had to wait. She was in that shop until 6.45pm!! We had not even wrapped the present yet. So, we went to the parkson customer service and ask this man to packed for us. Oh, how he took his own bloody time. To wrapped THAT ONE present took half an hour. It was then. 7.15

We rushed back home, thank you god that theres no jammed. Arrived home at 7.30 and then I took a sipped of tea and had to rush to solat berjemaah maghrib with the family. Oh and Atiq was there too because I invited him. Anyway, after solat I tried my moms Mac and Cheese and potato soup! Killer nice! And then we played with Ezekiel. He is very ACTIVE! Does not know how to stop! He opened his new present that my sister bought it for him. But he did not even play with it, he played with the box again! haha. The one who played the basketball mini court thingy was my brother and my cousin.

At 10pm, the house was empty. I sent Atiq back home. I was plannig to go out with Anne to celebrate Merdeka eve. Since she wants to go clubbing, so I turn down the offer because its Ramadhan and I'm tired.
31st August 2009:

I was awaken by my sister annoying voice-- "nick nick bangun!! nick nick bangun laaa. Teman I dgn sham pergi subang nk menang 5000 ni"
And being a good brother I am, I followed. There is this ogawa competition where you have to take a picture of you and an Ogawa product and send it with the most creative captions. So, we took some funny pictures. And then my sister went to buy that glasses she wants yesterday.

Went back home at 2.30 and I slept until 6.30pm. After buka, I helped my sister uploaded the pictures and edited it for her. We sent 5 pictures -.-" haha. But, I really think we can win them ALL! After my sister went to bed, then the line is clear for me to smoke. I had some ME time in my room, smoking and preparing for err.. yeah, SCHOOL! And now I'm blogging.

Oh, visit my tumblr. This is my un-anonymous tumblr :) SINCE everyone is asking for my tumblr. I made one un-anonymous. www.godasupernova.tumblr.com

Happy Merdeka Day :)

until then,

bloody hell!

Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you. Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks, I will be right here waiting for you.

-right here waiting by richard marx-

I'm still sad though btw. I don't know why, wait. I do. But only god and Anne knows why. I need someone to hug me. Someone to really really tell me that I'm fine and I'm okay. Not just listening to my stories and tell me to chill and then get back to his/her life. Its not always about you, you know! Its not always about me either, although it should be. But unfortunately its not. I don;t like it when tears coming out of me. Its so sick! Its so emo! Its so not NICK! If its coming out over someones death is well, acceptable. But its for. GOSH! STUPID! Its for stupid reason okay. I hate being this way. Have I switched souls or what? This heavy weight in my heart, I can't take it no more. I need to break free. Its like I'm being chained. Its like I'm being JAILED!

This world is so small, I hate it. I am practically hating everything and everyone right now. I'm not usually this crazy emo bitch. But hay, a guy gotta cry. I've been listening to sad songs.

I'll be fine. I know that. I WILL be fine! If I don't then I'll be the new emo kid. But you know I will be fine. I know myself. I don't get sad often, and if I do I get over it A S A P!!

I need help..

until then,

parachute

Cut My Parachute

I'm feeling down. I won't tell you why, can someone help me? Its not often I post something when I'm down and feeling frown. Thank you ANNE for being there, I love you. Your the best? I don't usually feel down. But, this weight in my heart. I can;t help it! I need to get it off. I feel sad, this is not normal for me ok. I need ANNE? I mean, to talk to her not as in to have her. Siti's gone and being happy now. Its like we switch body. Its usually her thats being emo. Looks like Ms Happy Tree Friends is being happy while I'm being Secondhand Serenade.

Only Anne could understand how I feel.

until then, :(

if I was a rich man.

No one can impress me, my cash flow and never ever ends. Who said that money can't buy happiness they certainly don;t know where to shop :)

until then

baby you'll be famous.

I am not a bad influence, when I'm friend with someone its not my fault that they want to be bad. I can't blame them from wanting to be me. Its them who wants to be me :)

until then,

I've fallen into a black hole.

Anyway, my mom cooked mee curry and for desert, we had Bread pudding :) Yummy I know. I'm not a big fan of bread pudding because it has raisins in the bread. I like raisins as it is, not inside breads or cake.

After buka, I helped my mum clean the table. At 8.30, Anne pick me up and we went to the BBQ party. It was ok. But we only go there to show our face and then we went to Anne's house since her parents are not at home. We listen to music and eat and tell stories and dance. 

At 11, she sent me back home :)

Tomorrow, I have Buka plans with Siti  :)

She has gotten back with her boyfriend.. I'm happy for her :)

Oh and yeah, I have tumblr but its an anonymous blog.

until then,

This is so not normal.

Before you read this, I have to tell you and make it straight that I am STRAIGHT as a straight line could ever be. Ok anyway:

This happens about a week ago, I did not tell anyone about this because I thought I was just being paranoid. A friend of mine called me as in randomly from out of the blue kind of call. Lets say this friend of mine is named K. Ok, anyway he keeps calling me and wants to hang out with me and I said ok. So we did. Just me and him, I thought it was like a guy to guy bonding time. You know, talking about sports and stuff. And we did! We did talk about sports and chicks. And then, he started paying for everything! By everything I mean everything. Our lunch cost about RM60 including ciggarettes. He paid. Being NICK. I was happy, that a FRIEND would treat me like this.

So he sent me back home. 15 minutes later he called-- He asks me "Tengah buat apa?" and I was like "err. online?" and he was like "oh, online dgn siapa?" and I was like "kenapa kau tanya aku ni semua" and he was like "oh saja." Being NICK again. I really did thought it was a SAHAJA thing. The next day, we went out. But this time was near, it was at the clubhouse. He wanted to pay, I said no. But he did.

He called me six times everyday. Sometimes seven or eight or even 12! Excluding rejected calls and missed calls. This was getting real weird. I mean, it was real weird.

And this confession came:

K, 12am--texted me;

"I never hang out with someone like you. I never met anyone like you and your kind of different from the other guys and I really like your style. I like your kind of guy"

I was a speechles bitch! This was really scary man. So, I started telling him straight stuff.

Nick, 12.30am--texted him;

"Ok, as a friend I would like to tell you that I thought you were straight. I mean, I never know you were this TYPE. I'm sorry but I'm straight and this is really weird for me. Please, stop calling me six times a day and spend your money on me. I might just say no. And, lets get things straight. IF you ever say that you like me again. I would punch you straight and I would find a gay guy for you and ask him to fuck you stupid! You get that? thank you."

K, 1.00am--texted me:

"oh I'm sorry. But, please don;t let THIS comes between our friendship." bla bla bla. this stupid gay men texted me.

And I was like. Malas nak layan. I blocked him from myspace and facebook. I deleted his messages and phone calls and phone number. He is just a virus. Like I said, I have no problems with gay men. As long as they don't be gay to me :)

This goes to all GAY friend of mine out there. Please don't try me, I;m not your type. I may act or look gay but I'm straight as a straight line could ever be.

until then,

rumors

Rumors spread so fast.

2nd day of ramadhan.

I've just finish my Buka :) which was awesome btw. My mom cooked Baked Cheese Potato and Butter Sauce Fish Fillet and the regular rice with lauk lauk. BURP! I had good food :)

I plan to go for terawikh today but mum went on and had forgotten about me. :/
At about 9.30pm, I will be meeting Atiq and Faqiha at Faqiha's house. Now, I feel like smoking. damn it!

I have to teman my cousin at my house while her parents and my mom is at the mosque. But that's okay. At least I have company :)

until then,

1st day if ramadhan

put your hands on my waist,

Anyway, today was very tiring? And surprisingly, I did nothing. I wake up at 5, sahur and planned to have my subuh prayers but I slept until 3. Then, I was very very dizzy since I'm use to eating after waking up. I went online. But that was really boring. So, I went to the tv and watch disney channel. GAHH!

At 6.30, after Phineas and Ferb. hehe. I went and took a bath. At 7pm, I dried my hair and help mum set the table. 24 minutes after that. I had one whole jug of ice tea. It was heaven!! My mum cooked Kari Indonesia--which was AWESOME! And sup daging with french toast and my sister bought Ikan Bakar from the bazaar. Food never tasted so good. :)

Then I went to my room, for my maghrib prayers and read some verses from the quran and then I went online while eating my desert. Which was mom's famous pengat jagung. Well not famous. But famous to me :)

But, I'm still having migrane now. GAHH! maybe I put too much ajinamoto at my soup. That explains.

Planned to go for terawikh. But my mum did it at home. So, I did not go for terawikh neither did I do it at home. At 10.00pm, I feel like lighting up with my new pack of ciggs. So, I did. GAH! Was that heaven.. Its unhealthy but yeah its heaven. The saddest part about that is, no one to remind me of death everytime I smoke. That is Atiq. This guy, don't smoke. So, he reminds people about death when people start to smoke. But no one listen.

Next time.

But I use to go to the taman with him at night and light up. Now, he is far away. hmph.

anyway, happy sahur!

until then

Ramadhan

"Sahaja aku berpuasa pada seluruh bulan Ramadhan tunai kerana Allah ta'ala"

Thats my niat, I don't go with the NAWAITU thingy because I don't understand it. As long as we niat and it comes from the heart. Then thats fine :)

What I love about Ramadhan is of course the home cook food that my mom always cooked for us. She does not cook rice on Ramadhan, I don't know why. But since I was little, my mum would only cooked rice with various lauk at sahur. Not buka. She would cook something western, italian, Mediterranean, arabic, chinese and indian for buka. I love it when she make her famous mash potatoes. Its better than chillies. Trust me. I love the cous cous with steak and erm, the soups! Everyday is a different soup. My favorite would be the potato and pea soup.

Is it me, or is the night of Ramadhan seems different? Every night in Ramadhan seems very peaceful, harmless and IDK there is this special thing about it that makes me calm. 

OMG! So many buka plans with friends. I'm so effin short of money right now though. 

Anyway, I will try my best and my hardest to puasa for one month! Lets try to be a better muslim now shall we? 

until then,

the reason why I'm single.

No. Its not because I'm gay or bisexual. Its just that I'm real fussy about girls. I like mine to be perfect. I mean at least close to perfect. Now here is my type of girl:

1. SHE has to look pretty, beautiful and hot
2. SHE have to be stylo. Its a must.
3. TALL. Not so tall, a lil bit shorter than me.
4. Long hair with nice smell
5. Speak proper english. So she can communicate well.
6. Independent and strong. You got to have the confidence.
7. I like them tan. But mostly white.
8. I want them skinny. Because I'm skinny.
9. The got to have the body.
10. They know how to dance in a party-- Appropriately. Not in a slutty kind of way.
11. They got to have a very very good voice to sing with me.
12. Have to be smart not bimbo-ish.
    

If you could find any of these for me. It means that you have found my soulmate.

Its goodbye.

Ok, its pretty stupid for me to be emotional right now. But Atiq has moved. Not a different school but a different house. He was only my neighbour for a year and alot has change and experienced. The reason he moved to the same apartment is because his old house was being renovated into a mansion with 8 rooms.

If I am short of test pads or stationaries, theres no more Atiq to be there on the 4th floor. When I;m bored at night and need someone to hang out with he would not be as near as before. No one to watch me smoke. No one to talk about death to when I;m smoking. Well, what I'm trying to say is. No one near. No one to cover for me when I'm sneaking out and most of all no more partner in crime at night with him. As he'll be hundreds of footsteps away not like before when I only needed the lif to get to his house.

But, I still see him at school though anyway.

But, it'll not be the same. We studied here together when the PMR is near. We got our perfect tans here by the pool. We drove the car for the first time here. In Sri Permata. Well, who knew a year could bring so many memories.

well, to Atiq and family:

Happy Moving and you'll see this face almost everyday at your mansion. And everyday also when Mr and Mrs Abdullah is going to Hajj. hehe. KIDDING!

Anyway, Happy Moving and I'm sorry for not being such a big help to your family.

ciao.

until then,

Its life in the city.

I'm going to be a VJ first then Public Relation and then a fashion designer.

I'll make an empire soon.

Remember me when I'm famous

until, then

I would be the first :)

My school does not have a queen bee or even a king bee. Which is good. Which means that I could be the first King Bee.

All Hail King Nick.

And since so many people is like want to be me. I really do fit to be a King Bee. haha.

No. I tak perasan. Like those form 5. They said bad things about me wearing my big and cool glasses. Guess what? They are wearing it the next week. I'm such a role model right?

And Yasmin is bit by bit becoming like me. hehe. She even said that I'm her mentor on her blog. And Atiq, sometimes follow my fashion sense, wears my clothes. Even my bags.

ok. Lets check:

I have possies, I'm a role model, I get invited to almost all parties and I'm a bitch.

hahahaha. So, I'm the first king bee :)

until then,

p/s-dont layan me.

when you fight bitches with Nick-- Nick wins :)

My friend Atiq could be annoying at certain times. Yes its true. But that does not mean that some people could treat him like he is not human. Well, he keeps telling me about a certain someone who treats him like shit. That someone is one of his classmates. Although you did nothing to me, but Atiq is me friend. TREAT HIM WELL.

This is what they did to Atiq.

When Atiq was sleeping at Physics, one of them stomp her pencil box right in front of his face. Well, I know its not good to sleep in class but its not good to be rude either. She sometimes even yelled at Atiq saying that she is sick of him. What did he do? Like I said, he is annoying at times. Maybe I understand you. But even I don't treat people like that. No wonder the WHOLE class hates you. Seriously not lying. I told my friends about what you did. And they hate you too!

News flash! This just in---well for you maybe. Because my mom told me to be nice to others. The TV even told us to be nice to eachother. Have not you heard the phrase BUDI BAHASA BUDAYA KITA? Being a BITCH like you is not cute at all. Sorry to say.

But if you hurt Atiq one more time. You are going down. VERY DOWN!

I did not say that I am perfect. But you think you are so perfect. Guess what? Your not! Tolong la, treat people nicely if you want the world to treat you nice pulak. Really, karma works.

And who the hell are you to tell someone you are sick of THEM? Who the fucking hell are you man?!! We are the ones who should be the fucking shit sick of you! People like you should not be in this world. Tolong la. Please don't be a childish freak and a bitch. Your not like the REGINA GEORGE type if bitch. At least she's pretty. Your like the big fat ugly bitch who wants to be Regina george.

Guess what?! I'm a bigger bitch if I want to be.

siapa makan cili, cepat cepat la pergi minum air.

until then,

new class

Monday madness.

Today was not a fun day. I did not come for one week, the next thing I know my class has been change to another place. If it is better than my other class, then thats fine. The thing is, its much more worst! The fan is not working very well. And the sun rises from the right side of the window and that makes the class much more hotter. The windows frame has been eaten by termites and its just so dusty! I hate that class. The reason we change class is because its much more easier for the teachers to MEMANTAU this class than our old class. Teachers are selfish lazy bitches. I mean not all. But you guys would know who the hell that I'm talking about. yes. its MISS R. I hate her. I do. I mean, as an individual she would be ok. But as a teacher shes not.

well, she gives me HELL.

until then,

oh man. shes hot.

Nick waved.

M-Hyeee, I'm Marsha.
N-Hyee, I'm Nick

When I was queuing. There was this girl staring and smiling at me. And shes REAL hot and stylish. My type. So, I smile. and she smiled back. I know her, met her somewhere. But where?

masa balik. Ternampak lagi. I ask her name, it was Marsha. Masa nak mintak number, tak sempat. DAMN IT!

Then, I saw her on the escalator. She was with her boyfren which was not hotter than me. So yeah wtvr. She waved at me for no reason. Then, I wave back. After that, it was the end of my love at first sight.

ah damn!

until then,

p/s-stylish,pretty,hot and beautiful eyes.

WORLD STAGE!

It was a last minute thing. I swear!
Anyway, I went there at 3. Surprisingly, there was not much people when I queue for the line. I was so scared that I could not find my friends. But then, I saw Muzzamel and Muadzam. I ask them if they saw Yasmin and they said Yasmin was at the front of the stage. I squeeze myself to the stage. And there she was. We screamed! haha. After that, we hugged and wait.

Standing up for 2 hours with no fresh air with rain was not fun. So, I went to Muzzamel and Muadzzam and chill with them at the back. Sabrina, Kiestina, Shasha, Azwan and Fitrah were there too. Eyh, wait. Fitrah was at the front with Yasmin. OK anyway. A few minutes later. Estranged perform.

I was ready to dance like hell. But my friends were boring. And I'm scared to go to Yasmin again because now its like PACKED! So, I went to chill with them at the back while listening to estranged. Another few minutes later, it was BOYS LIKE GIRLS! OMG! They were awesome!! I'm not a big fan. But yeah, they're awesome! I wish Aqeel were here to see them. But hey, they are coming here soon!! Maybe next year. I dance like hell when they sang "the great escape." Well at that time, my friends was not boring anymore. haha. We jumped and banged our head. we rock the night.

Anyway, after that there was an hour break. Yasmin and Fitrah went to the back and sat with use. They were all sweaty. After the break it was Raygun! OMG they are ok la. HAHA. But I dance like hell to their music too!! hehe. Anyway, after Raygun was Miss Pixie Lott. I only know what song. And that is MAMA DO. haha. That was went my throat was hurt. Now, my voice sounds real deep and sexy. Its like puberty all over again.

After Miss Pixie Lott. Theres another hour break. So, I went to the back again and chill. Saw a few of my friends, aquaintances and schoolmates there too. Dance to the dj's music which was boring anyway. But, I'm full of energy.
AFTER THAT WAS MY FAVORITE FAVORITE BAND!! THE ALL AMERICAN REJECTTSSSS!!!!

I dance, scream, head bang and went crazy sampai my friends pun terkejut. HAHA. I know the lyrics to their songs from first to last. I was sweating like I never sweat before. After that, it was another 30 minutes break. Then, I saw my sister.

A few minutes later, it was Kasabian. I only know one song from this band which is FIRE and it was awesome btw. When Kasabian perform, my friend Azrieman carried me on his shoulder and I got to actually see them! It was awesome!!

And then, at 12. The Concert was coming to an end. There were explosion on the stage and the volcano. IT WAS SUPER DUPER AWESOME!

until then,

blogger boy.

I'm watching an episode of blogger boy. The last episode that I watch from this show was about a gay teen running away from home because his father caught him hiding porn magazines, cd and stuff(s) like that. Not normal porn. Gay porn.

And, after watching the show. I really did thought it was gay.

Todays episode was about the blogger boy's ex-girlfriend who married a gay men.

This show has written GAY all over it.

Anyway, I am glad to tell you that I'm H1N1 free! Although, I still have my fever. As long as I dont have the disease. I'm watching project runway right now. This show really do inspire me to be a fashion designer and also me avoiding the fashion industry. Its full of gay men. I'm scared.

until then,

OMG no! this is crazy!

I actually miss school.

Anyway, it has been more than 24 hours and I'm still waiting for my blood test results. I feel so unlucky. I hate being sick.

I'm avoiding listening to the american rejects for now because it hurts me so bad that I'm not going to World Stage. I hate being sick.

I miss hanging out with my friends, I miss my school friends! I miss my cigarettes and also missing me singing in front of the whole class. I hate being sick.

I miss Siti, Atiq, Sya, Nikki, Yasmin and my classmates. I hate being sick.

I miss gossiping using my mouth and not typing. I hate being sick.

I miss my art tuition that now, I actually forgot how to draw. I hate being sick.

I miss the OUTSIDE world.

how could it be so mean to me. I'm just shock, that the moment when I got my world stage tickets, I can;t go. I'm not sad about me being quarantine. Its just that why now?! Why quarantine NOW?! The worst part about this is.. Yes, I got the mosh pit tickets.

I've given that away to someone who wants it.

I'm stuck here untill Sunday.

did I mention that I hate being sick?

until then,

I have a long way to go.

What am I waiting for? I should have taken the chance. I'm such a stupid ho..

Anyway, this just in-- My brother is getting married next year in the month of June. And, NO I'm not wearing a traditional baju melayu. In fact, my brother is going to pay for my Tailor Made suit! yeay ME! Oh and yeay my brother too :)

I'm not sure what fabrics to buy and what looks good on me. But, I'm thinking about wearing what Nick Jonas wears in the MTV VMA's. Thats kind off cool too. Since my mom forbids me wearing like Chuck Bass, she said he looks like JOKER from bat man. But, I'm still getting a Baju Melayu for the nikah and the other reception. Who cares about being best men anyway, since obviously I'm going to be THE BEST MEN there. 

I love it when one of my siblings get married.  The rehearsals, food tasting, family meetings and stuff  like that.

I can;t wait to start!

until then,

Its not fair.

Are your secrets where you left them? I don't remember you told me not tell anybody. Well, oopss. I just did.

until then,

Demam. Worried and afraid.

I had a fever since saturday. On Sunday, I went to the clinic. The long queue and those little annoying children running around makes my fever much more worst. The doctor was rude too. She did not even check me properly. So, she gave me antibiotic and panadols.

Medicines are almost finish, still no changes. At 4.30am, I went to my moms room because I was cold eventhough the fan was not on. She said that I had a high temperature and so, she sponge bath me. Apparently, I was not feeling better at all. I felt the same. Cold, tired, body aches and gosh! coughing, sneezing and diarhea. What does that tells you in your mind?

So, today I went to the clinic again. This time, its a better clinic. The doctor said that I am quarantine until wednesday because I may be having you-know-what or dengue. I'm scared. YES! I hope by wednesday, I'll be perfectly fine or else--MY FIRST BLOOD TEST!

until then,

p/s-my mum said that I should be thankful that god give me sickness. It means he is erasing all of my sins. WOW! Banyak nya dosa aku.

pfft, I am

Those form 5, some of them are hypocrites. They talk bad about me when I wear that big glasses but look at them now. Following me much? Well at least, they have great fashion sense to follow what I do. I can't blame me for being a trend setter.

ur taking back whos love?

I am so cool that you are never cooler than me :)

Anyway, today was an OKAY day. Went to school and went back home, slept and then watch tv and eat.

FUN! I know!!

Urgh, there is someone on my facebook who is related to me that cannot be trusted. Because my aunt knew that I drove and shes being so annoying about it.

Oh, and there is this classmate of mine. They are such a desperate wannabe. 2 of them la. I mean, they said that I budak baru nk UP. If you don;t know what that means, it means that I am just a guy who JUST tried everything and being so 'OMG' abt it. But, they are the ones in CLASS who said that they tried cocaine and stuff and being so BATAK about it which makes it ovbvious that they never tried any of that stuff. Its just influence by my other friends. PITY them, lets laugh!

They think that ONCE you have gotten in a club, ONCE you have been into a party and ONCE you've sneak out the house makes you cool. But you only try it once at 16! I've been through that stage before when I was 13. And now, I'm slowing down because I've grown! When you have just started. Siapa yg baru nak UP sekarang?

Do you know what they say about you? They said that you are a desperate wannabe. They said that you think your the COOLEST person in this whole entire section 9 that no one is cooler than you. Wake up slutface! and guess what?! I'm cooler than you.

tak payah ah nak batak sangat telling everyone that you tried this and that when I know that you have never tried them.

But on the other hand, its fun watching you being a wannabe. You social climber!

tata!

until then,

6.32am just got back.

a man with low self esteem,

noo. That does not describe me. Anyway, at 1.00am Anne and Nikki said that their car was full and they can't pick me up at home. So, I called Siti and begged her to go out with me since lately she has been very down and sad. Let me cheer her up then. I drove to her house at 12.30am. Everything went so well! I mean, I really can drive now. Except when theres trafic light. But it took me almost an hour to go to Sitis house because the main road to go to her house is closed. So, I have to used another road which was full by police btw. But, I think that they think that I look matured. So they did not ask me to stop the car. I actually had forgotten the way to Sitis house that I went in circles almost 5 times. HAHA. Anyway, about 1.20am I found my way to her house. Passengers who sits with me are cursed. Because, I tend to get so nervous when there is a passenger beside me. But, everything went well except for the trafic lights and the time where I wanted isi minyak.

We went to barra and met Nik Aizu and his gang. Thank you god Nik knows how to drive manual so I ask him about the trafic lights and stuff like that. We waited for Sitis new BF Pa'an to arrive. So this means its like APPROVAL and JUDGING day for Siti. 2 hours later Pa'an came and at first sight, he does not look 2o at ALL! So, I do not want to be someone uninvited to their dating plan. So, I went back home. As I was driving, Siti called me and ask me to hang out with her again. I park my mums car and then Pa'an came and pick me up.

We had no idea where to go..

So, we went to Tasek Shah Alam which was kind of creepy when you go there at 3am. Everything seems like a KAMPONG GHOST STORY, very MISTY and DARK. Then, 2 suspicious men came. So we moved on to MCD section 2 since I wanted to pee. OMG! I met the IK2 Perdagangan teacher. He looked at me like he wanted to eat me. I dont know whats his problem. And then, we drive around town until 4am-- we went to Bukit Section 12 to KONON KONON see the sunrise. It was fun hanging out there because I got to know Pa'an more. He is such a nice guy and very warm and humble. Someone that I want Siti to be with. Someone who can give her freedom and someone who can guide her to the right path :)

The police came at 5.30 and ask Pa'an what we were doing there. He talked with the Police man and the next thing I knew, the police was not there anymore. At 6am, 2 suspicious men came again. So, since there is nothing to do and the sunrise is so lembab today. We went back home.

I got back at 6.30...

Nick: I tak faham kenapa orang boleh sayang another person so hard.
Siti: Huh asal?
Nick: Kalau ada orang sayang I macam so hard, i akan lari kot
Siti: ahaha. Jahaaat.
Pa'an: Maybe orang yang sayang the other person tu memang sayang betul betul.

then silent. He made me think. SHIT!

until then,

love me up!

I love Friday and thank god its Friday!

I just got back from OTWC. Hanging out with Faqiha who just got back from Boarding School. GOSH I miss her much?

We talk and talk. Well, mostly I am the guy who did all the talking. After that, Atiq went to baskin robbins and bought the chocolate maui brownies and then we went to the PADANG belakang concorde and hang there and talk again.

anyway, I need to solat now. tata.

until then,

yeah!

ATTENTION: MUST WATCH THIS VIDEO I MADE!

www.youtube.com/ninick17

listen to all my songs and tell me what you think!

there is something about tonight.

I've been happy for a long time now. What I mean is, I've been too happy. No dramas, No fights, No conflict. NOTHING! This is what I want my whole life. Relaxation. But one thing not accomplish. And this THING is, oh its better left unsaid.

Anyway,
I want you to visit this blog and listen to this girl sings. www.farahasyura.tumblr.com
My friend Farah Asyura, she will go far someday. GOSH! Her voice is like an angel. I la la love it.

Behind all of my happiness, there is this one hole in my heart. I mean, its not sadness but its emptiness. I rather not say it here.

GAHH!

I just want to get over this. OVER everything. I need to keep my distance. Maybe its better ignoring it. I got to see it in another different angle. Like its bad, and it could ruin everything. I need to you know stop holding it on. But gosh! I tried, I fail.

Until then,

I know I should not have kept you waiting,

Yo, readers! I'm sorry if I have not update this blog for almost a week now. This is because I'm out of Ideas of what to post.

I have not been busy doing anything. I'm being much more lazy day by day. But maybe this is just a phase. Oh, and my mum said that I will continue on my tuition even after my finals. This is because of SPM! Hmph.

I just want to break free until this year ends. Then, next year I will be studying my ass off. I swear I will.

Oh, I want to be known as a SOCIAL. You know, like Olivia Palermo. She's a SOCIAL.
haha.

okay I'm crapping.

until then

here I am,

I hope that no one called me yesterday as I was busy mingling. I mean, Thariq was suppose to call me but my battery went out and I went out with my friends to this place called LEPAQ near hartamas. While,they were out at republic. Anyway, I check my call log. No missed calls. So, I feel less guilty.

I am now at home on a saturday night, HOW LAME? I mean, it always ends up like this. My friday nights are awesome but when it comes to the WHOLE day of saturdays-- ITS JUST LAME! From morning till at night. Thinking of sneaking out afterwards. But oh, idk.

OH! Farah Asyura said that I was hot and I am MR. Popular and she said that she really mean it. I was so touched! Well, I like her style! Its so--HIPPIE!

I am using my moms MINI laptop. Gosh! I'm having trouble typing because the keyboard is so small. Anyway, I can't wait to start my online business! Selling retro, vintage and cool stuffs! Its going to be called SIXTIES CIGARETTES and its coming soon this OCTOBER. Don't spend your duit raya at the mall! Spend it in my blog!!

I hope it'll be a success.

I gtg now, before this laptop gets thrown out of the window.

until then,

oh, this thing is normal

Check out the chat box in my friend's blog www.plainwhitebitch.blogspot.com

Someone said I'm "pathetic"

I do not know if this girl/guy knows me or not but whatever. I mean, people being jealous of me is real normal. So I don't really care about it that much. As long as they are talking about me because it is better to be talked about rather than being unnoticed right? Anyway, if you think that I'm being a little snobbish, this is because I'm dedicating this post to that UGLY girl/guy who thinks I'm pathetic.

If you want to be my friend, then be IT! because I'm friendly laa. I don't bite.

You can comment anything you want in my chat box ok UGLY bitch? Maybe if you have BALLS, you can show yourself up. But if you are a girl, then grow some BALLS to face me. I just want to see how you look like. I might just say HI. Don't be scared,

Internet apa barang bodoh?!

white glamorous

I'm not sure how to spell GLAMOROUS. I actually have to sing the fergie song glamorous. damn!

Anyway,

Next month is Ramadhan and then 3rd day of Raya, my brothers engagement. Since I am not going to be his bestmen. He suggested that I'll be his wedding singer. But, whatever! The wedding is like going to be in June 2010. So, theres time to think about what song I'll sing.

I can't wait!

why?

Wow, shocking truth--

I'm not a big fan of your stories :)

1. I don't respect someone who does not respect themselves
2. I may act different in public. But yeah, when its time for privacy between you and I, you're gonna get it!
3. I may not want someone like YOU to TOUCH me.
   
4. YOU disgust me
   
5. This may seem harsh, but between this blog, god and I-- I personally think that your a slut.
6. I don't be friends with TACKY bitches like you.
7. Your so low and stupid. By stupid, I really mean STUPID!
8. I do not know why you are so YUCKISH
9. I don't look at you the same way ANYMORE.
10. This is not the end, but I just disgust you and you lost my respect. I think your stupid
    

The truth hurts right? Well, pay for the consequences bitch! You did not lose me as a friend, you just lost the best part of me being your friend.

until then,

p/s- siapa yang makan cili, cepat cepat lah minum air :)

oh and, I've always thought that you always care about you and your selfish. You made this annoying fucking pity face on that makes me disgust you even more.

DON'T ASK ME WHO, AFTER READING THIS. ITS BETWEEN THIS BLOG, GOD and I

blogging, I miss

The Royals

Its been 2 days since I've been at home. My eldest sister got this major migraine thing and since my mom is worried so she went to my sisters house from thursday until sunday. I went there on saturday untill sunday. GOSH! My nephew Ezekiel a.k.a Mini Me, is so cute. I love him to bits. And I have been co-babysitting him for 2 days. Yes, tiring but it was cool.

Now, I'm at home preparing for school while blogging while watching I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. Gosh, I miss my home. Home sweet freaking home! Nothing feels as comfortable. Anyway, my mom is going to the hospital to visit my sister tomorrow morning and I will be home alone until tuesday? Well, me time at last! But there will be no internet access for 2 days. I think its kinda cool because I am recovering from Internet Addiction :)

I gtg now, good-the-bye!

until then,

eyes on fire,

I simply can't wait for Hari Raya because the third day of raya, my beloved brother will get engage and on that night itself we will be having this HUGE family dinner on a cruise and in the morning, we will go to leisure farm which I do not know what to be excited about there since the activities available in Leisure Farm are Horse Riding, Swimming, Golf and some other things which is not that interesting to me. But, I just can't wait for Hari Raya!
Yasmin borrowed my Jodi Picoult book and tomorrow she will lend me her new moon book. Yes, if you are wondering why I'm only starting new moon. This is because, I am not a really big fan of big books. Because big books makes me stick to it like forever, I sometime do not eat or bath just because I want to know what happens next in the next page or chapter. And at the end of the day, I feel iritated with myself.

I can't wait to go shopping for Hari Raya also!! I hope this year's shopping would be like last year, but even MORE fun. I feel like I want to go to sungei wang because I feel that I could get more nice things there which looks kinda expensive but it only cost 40 ringgit or less, But obviously my mom would want to go to mid valley since its like a tradition for me to shop there ever since forever!

Anyway, I just watch twilight AGAIN! haha. Its fun! Don;t blame me. Day by day, I feel like I want to be Edward Cullen. To me, he is so cool. Well, whatever it is Vampires are cool!

I'm typing anything that I feel like I want to type, just to kill time. There are 15 minutes left to download ONE song from the twilight soundtrack. I'm currently listening to Eyes on Fire by Blue Foundation. The song is real nice, its real dark and depress. This is the song in the movie when Bella nearly got hit by the car.

Oh, did I told you that I have encountered with Edward Cullen wannabe Malaysia? No, its not me. But someone else. This happens like in April. There was this guy that THINKS he is Edward Cullen, the way he stare at you is really the same. So, just for fun-- I called him, I shouted "EDWARD!" And he looked at me and come chasing after my friends and I, to everywhere we go. I;ve seen this guy before with Anis. He was behind us on the escalator and he was staring at Anis like Edward Cullen. I have got to admit that he does look 40% like Edward. The way he dresses, is really like Edward. I think he should be around my age or 15.

But his friends looks kind of friendly. I still can remember the way he looked at me, its like he is flirting with his eyes with Nikki and Anis. But when he looked at me, its like he is really going to eat me. Maybe because I called him Edward. Ok, not CALLED but SHOUTED at him. Whatever, its just for fun anyways right.

Siti has been missing for a few days now, I miss her a lot! :/

Do you realize that I'm actually babbling and typing some random stuff here. Thank you god! There is only 10% left to finish the downloading. Anyway,
I hope that I could see that Edward wannabe guy again and ask him on how to be Edward, haha. Really, I think its like so cool to be Edward Cullen. He may not be THE most good looking guy ever but he is just so coool! YEAY! Finish downloading, tata drama.

until then,

oh love,

when the dogs are barking at the new moon, whistling a new tune and hoping it would come soon, So that they could..

Today was normal, I went t0 school and got back. Slept until Asar, eat and now I'm facing my laptop. I'm googling, myspace-ing, facebook-ing and think-ing. When will I be Study-ing?

I know, right.

OMGOMG! Robert Pattinson did not just BITE tyra banks neck! Oh, hell yeah he did! haha. I'm watching it right now. Go, IDOL!

Anyway, I nak mandi now,

until then,

Edward Cullen

Call me by that name now,

Anyway, yesterday I just finished reading My sister's keeper. Because I somehow misplaced the book on saturday. And the MOST shocking ending happen. Yes, she died! I'm not going to tell you who, but she died. I mean, I know that she is going to die somehow, but not that way. I mean, that is so unexpected. I started reading the book at 12am, there were hundred pages left and I;m not exaggerating. I finished reading the book at 2am. And after I knew the ending, I went to my kitchen and had a plain gardenia with no butter or anything and yes, I cried. I just can't help it. I slept at 4am because I really can't get over her death :(

Well, call me drama. But the book really touches you. Its like really emotionally indescribable.

My mum woke me up at 7am, and that was pretty late. I bath and it was really cold since my mum is quitting heater because she said that hot water can make your skin looks old and cold water is healthier. While I shampooed, my brain feels like ice.
I pack my bags for school and left the house at 7.40, I arrived school at 7.45. Had to sit outside the hall since I was late, and I had to watch all the successful students get their button badge and yes, there are so many successful students in my school and I was tired of sitting outside.

I never really liked the assembly, it hurts my ass because we sit on the floor. Sometimes, its so hot and smelly. But most of the times, my ears hurt hearing the teachers babble non stop. Assembly sucks!

Anyway, back from school I slept until 6pm. Bath, tvee, dinner and watch twilight for the 3rd time. :)

until then,

my first time :)

I'm not a big fan of twilight the book. I've read it last year and its ok, its not BAD but just average. Believe me, today is the first day that I watch the whole entire movie. It was pretty good but to me, the movie is kinda slow. Obviously, books are much more better. But yeah, the movie was fun. And I so want to be Edward Cullen, not Robert Pattinson, but Edward Cullen. Bella Swan to me is horny.

Can't wait for new moon :)

And now, I'm listening to Robert Pattinson song--never think.

LAME me. I know,

until then,

Friday night with not that much light,

This kind of troubles are the stories that I will tell my kids

Yesterday I sneak out again. This time with no car and Atiq is following. Anne and boyfriend Danial pick us up at Permata. And then we went to Asia Cafe and hang there for a while with Nikki, Nina, Nikki's "FRIEND" Nik, Nik's friend Amirun and this bald guy which I forgot what his name is. we gossip and laugh until the time on my watch says that it is already 1am. -.-"

Since the snooker place in Asia Cafe was fully booked, we went to Rack instead. I'm glad that we did not go to Asia Cafe because the snooker place there smells like pee. Rack is not better also, but at least it did not smell like cheap beer.

We played snooker and foosball. I was being so gedik on the snooker table and you would not wanna know what I did there. We were at Rack until 3am.

After that, they plan to have a drink. But, instead we went picnic at the Bukit Jelutong taman. It was cold and I was freezing until I needed to pee. I peed behind a tree instead, haha. We had candies and coke that we bought at KK mart and then we just hang around and laughed our ass out until I needed to pee again. But since the mineral water is finished and I have nothing to wash my hands with. So, I hold on to myself.

We went back home at 5am, and Atiq slept over my house.

It was all and all fun!

until then,

breath in, now HOLD!

if you are the air that I breath, tell me why I'm suffocating

Just got back from lighting up with A, I'm the one who lights up not him. I can't wait until its Ramadhan and then its time for shopping. I just clean up my wardrobe and god, I found a lot of cool shirts and T shirts. But yet, I am still itching to go shop for more. I need more short shorts, since its hot here in Malaysia. Oh, and I'm going to start collecting money because I will go to Taiping soon to buy some bags and some vintage clothes and stuff at their market because I want to make an online business. Yeah, thank you very much. My new motto is "Spend Money to Make Money"

To you fashion addicts, check out my soon to come fashion BLOG. Spend your money there and shop till u drop on the net, because its the 21st century now. Who goes to the mall anyways?

My online business blog is coming soon in October, selling vintage and preppy fashion style.

Until then,

La la la la life is wonderful

Oh, I found a new book. Maybe this could be the 3rd best book I have ever read so far. My first would always be Where Rainbows End by Cecilia Ahern, my second would be the Gossip Girl series and maybe my third would be My sisters keeper.

My sisters keeper. The movie will be premiered in Malaysia I think, somewhere in August? Idk, But what I do know is that the book is fun to read and yet it makes me feel sad and I also feel very stressful. I mean, I don't understand WHY does Kate parents have to be soo negative. Since she was 2, they said that she is going to die soon. But hell no she did not! She's living her ass out until 2010. And 2010 have not even arrived yet!

But anyway, I have not yet finished the book. 100 plus pages left.

soo, goodbye

until then