amnesia by nick lagenda

Its been a while since I last use blogger

2010-11-13T09:44:00.000-08:00

REASON being:-

My tumblr is too public and I want to type something here that is totally private. And I'm about to type my feelings here for the last time. Or else, I couldn't find PEACE in myself.

So anyway,
Its been months now and I still can't stop thinking about you. You know, its a waste of my fucking time to let me think about you? You kept saying that there was someone else on your motherfuckin mind and its not me! How do you think that would make me feel?

I'm done trying to make this right. I'm done being positive in this situation. I'm SO done beating on your motherfucking wall hoping to transform it into a door. Why would I want to waste my time on you? When maybe your mind is not even 1% thinking about me.

*BIG SIGH

No, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself. I feel so humiliated, embarrass, stupid, stupid and yes stupid again for acting so STUPID in front of you. I think I should stop. I should stop being all that to you. I wanna move on. I wanna let go.

At the same time, I need you and want you in my life! :(
I feel stupid and embarrass. I will not treat you the same anymore. You are poisonous. One look in you eyes, one word you say to me, I'll melt.

Lesson learn. I should move on. Should've known you were not serious.
OHMYGOD! I miss you blogspot!

nicobynick changed.

2009-11-07T23:10:00.001-08:00

I've moved to another blogging world. TUMBLR land! Its more fun there. I love you blogspot! You and I have great memories together. Click the link below to view my new blog:

Coffee and Cigarettes

This is my last post here.

there is always this two words that I type at the end of every post and this will be the last one here.

UNTIL THEN,

M I R A C L E

2009-11-07T07:13:00.000-08:00

Hello readers, sorry for not updating this blog lately because I was in JB. It was a last minute thing, It was a wednesday evening when I was just taking my nap. Then, my mom started waking me up in an annoying manner she said that my uncle was in a critical condition so she asked me to pack my bags because my aunt is going to pick me up in another 15 minutes. So, I pack 3 undies 1 baju melayu 1 shirt and 2 pair of jeans. I bathe and put on my Halloween jubah and waited for my aunt and at 6pm we went to JB.

Arrived JB around 10pm, my heart was pounding at times like this because it scares me. I do not know why, but it just do. I went inside my uncles house and salam all of my relatives. Some which I hate. Well, you know who. Anyway, I went to his room and saw him very weak. Its like he was in pain. WAIT! He is in PAIN! I wanted to approach him but I just can't because I'm afraid that I might cry. So, I just stood beside his bed and prayed to god to not let him suffer. He is a very religious man and I respect that because he use to be like my cousins and I, WILDCHILD and always gets into trouble and I don't think that he deserve to suffer like that.

After that short visit, I went to Aqeels room and bathe. Yes, I love bathing. I pamper myself in the toilet with that cold water. Its refreshing! You should try it sometimes. Then, I went back to his room. He saw me and he said "Hi nick" I tried to avoid because I was too afraid to see him but I force myself to hold that tears behind my head and I replied "hi wak lil" and sat beside him. He held my hand and whispered "Jaga aqeel baik baik, jangan main je. Jaga diri and jangan lupa solat." I replied "insyallah" and then I let him rest.

That was a relief.

I slept in that cold room upstairs with no blanket or sweater. I could practically freeze to death. Woke up at 5 something and perform my subuh prayers with my relatives. Obviously, I went back to bed.

On Thursday, people started coming over to visit him like alot! Relatives which I do not know off, my dad's friends and everyone who was everyone was there to visit him. I spent the day playing with Ezekiel and with my annoying little cousins. Hanging out with the big ones and fooling around with Aqeel and Fathin. We found out that their little brother have a crush on this girl named Atiqah or something. It was funny btw, when he said that she never spoke to him and when Aqeel said that he writes her name on the calender or something similar to that effect.
Thursday was fun,
We got lost of wanting to go to McDonalds. Yes, Thanks JB cousin who does not know the nearest Drive Thru McD. -.-" They said it usually takes them about 15 minutes to get there. But at that night, it freakin took us an hour! We had supper and shared memories of the old days and compared McDonalds in Malaysia and in Singapore.

I was supposedly to go home on friday at 8am. But something happen. My uncle was really really sick. It was like he was about to go. I mean, if he did go he looks kinda ready. He looks like he is ready to go. He repent, left his will, never missed any prayers and he zikirs alot. That is how I want to go. Plus, all of his family members were beside him. It was emotional and scary all at the same time but it did look like a perfect way to go and it was a FRIDAY. So, we all canceled our plans to go back home on that day because I think everyone was prepared for the worst to happen. We left him in his room and let him rest.

I went to sleep on that night at 2am because there was a blackout and my cousins were telling ghost stories which is still running in my mind right now. -.-"
Woke up today at 5am, I was very very sleepy to solat. But, I had to. I took my wuduk and sat at the sofa and closed my eyes.

And then,

"Assalamualaikum!"

It was my uncle WALKING towards the living room looking very very GOOD and wanting to solat berjemaah with us. My closed eyes were WIDE open. See, how miracles happen?
After solat, there was a mini tazkirah. I went back to sleep at 7.20 and woke up at 11.00am.

After maghrib, I packed my bags and salam all my relative and was prepared to go home. I was searching for my uncle but he was not in his room. I asked Aqeel, and he said my uncle was outside. I went outside and saw him walking at the garden. It was a miracle! I swear! If only you readers could see what he went through on that friday afternoon you would be shock that he is now actually WALKING and was ALERT to his surroundings. I hugged him and he told me to take care of myself.

See, if you pray and you repent and you remember Allah always. Miracles happen. And when it does in front of you. It really opened your eyes and makes you wanna repent too.

until then,

nirvana influenced

2009-11-03T13:43:00.000-08:00

I don't wanna be pop and preppy anymore. I'm grunge. I love nirvana and I think I have a boy crush on kurt cobain :0

Kurt Cobain is my new idol.

Metric and Lady gaga is my past. I still love them though. :)

until then,

Manic Monday does not exist anymore!

2009-11-02T03:27:00.000-08:00

Finals are over, yes congratulations to you Science student. I've taste freedom since last thursday. Believe me, you can never get bored of it.

Saturday was halloween. My friends and I planned to go for the American Rejects concert wearing costumes. haha. But we did not. When people asked me that day what was I on Halloween, I answered Pete Doherty. -.-"

The concert was OKAY. World stage was much better. The band was late and the crowd was kinda boring. But it was fun though. Got back home at 4am. Yasmin, Fitrah and I went lepak at starbucks time square while waiting for my bro.

I'm in JB now. Hanging out with the cousins. I'll be home maybe tonight. See ya!!

until then,

Pornographic Dance Fight.

2009-10-30T19:14:00.000-07:00

One more disc left, then I've covered ALL of the Gossip girl season 2 dvd. No wonder they say I'm a male version of Blair. She is a manipulating childish bitch! Not proud of it though. I am Chuck Bass. Wait, no! Chuck Bass is so everyone. The whole school wants to be Chuck! Nate is too gay and Dan is too stupid and boring. I guess the MALE version of Blair would be fine.

I bet you might say that I'm too much influence by Gossip Girl. Since I wanna live in New York specifically in the Upper East Side and stuff like that. But, you have seen nothing yet. haha.
There is this blog called Gedik Girls where she pretends that she lived like those characters in GG. And I think she made all the stuff up because she copy paste everything that is on Gossip Girl. OR. She might have learn the script all by hard. Its hilarious. I mean, seriously? gedik girl? How kampung could you be? ok, I would expect such behavior in my town SHAH ALAM. But GG is in Hartamas! HAHA! Hartamas people, is so out of my list now. No offence to you people who have been my friends and has been living in hartamas ur whole life. hehe.

Ok, enough making fun of our people.

I am going to American Rejects concert YAW! In less then 2 hours I'll be sweating my ass off dancing. School has practically ended since I have got the GREEN light to cut school from mom. Mom just told me about my uncle. I feel like I have to be there for my cousin. I kinda know how it feels like. And, good news to them. I will be there soon! We could talk NO EMO stuff aite?

My head is spinning. Damn! I need to eat! I have been puking the lamb out of me since yesterday. HAH! Kidding. But, my head is spinning. Oh gosh! I just remembered that I should wear something nice fr the concert. Where did that rolling stone t-shirt go? I don't need to be preppy there. Loosen up a little. My brother took my belt and jeans don't come in size 27 no more for males! I'm wearing a 29 now. Urgh. Need to find a belt.

Mom went breakfast without even asking me if I wanted to go. I'm left here with butterscotch bread and peanut butter. What a nice breakfast. I know!

So, I'm signing out now. Butterscotch bread is calling me. I am hesitating every step to eat that thing again. But MOM left me no choice.

until then,

Nico

2009-10-29T06:13:00.001-07:00

Lady gaga is AWESOME(!) She's so unique and cool, she may not be the hottest girl alive but damn is she cool. She's super duper cool! Her songs are so David Bowie-esque and Queen inspired. Love it!

I'm finally free from examinations! Yes! AT LAST! Going to school on the 6th of november to hand in my text books. I'm going to American Rejects this Saturday! Part of me is excited and a part of me feels rather guilty. I'm kinda broke right now. SO yeah.

Transportation, food and stuff like that ya know.

Since examinations are over, I'm going to walk to Atiq's house to borrow his GG cd's.

until then,

Positive.

2009-10-27T00:04:00.000-07:00

Woke up in the morning with a semi-shocking news from mom. This makes my heart kinda worried. Arrived home with THE shocking news from mom. Called my cousin but he never picked up. I hope that everything would be ok. Because god is the greatest and he knows what is best for us.

Anyway,

I studied science yesterday from 10pm to 4am. Thank you god, science was ok. Its either an A or a B+ but my instict tells me that its gonna be an A. Thanks to yasmin also because she let me copy her paper. Well, like they said "Jangan Kedekut Ilmu" 6 more papers left in 3 more days. Then, freedom would be all mine!

The teacher practically was asleep in the classroom. So, we were passing notes to each other and ask our friends the answers. Yasmin was obviously my aim. Sya was having a mini panic attack. She literally CAMPAK yamin;s pocket notes out of the window because as she was about to copy the answer from the pocket notes, the teacher was wandering around. So yeah. Knowing SYA. You would kinda expect what shes going to do next.

Tomorrow, H I S T O RY! I will, I will get an A for this!! Please oh dearest god, I don't only pray to you just when I need you. I am going to start talking to you everyday all day! Okay, maybe not everyday all day. But, I will remember you is my mind MORE often!! Just give me the A for sejarah!

I gtg now, time for my nap. Tuition at 5.

until then,

Head Hurts,

2009-10-25T06:05:00.000-07:00

4 more days to go. Finals examination will be over soon! 9 more papers in 4 days! Boo-hoo! Crossed out school. I have not studied a thing. My head hurts like hell! Its not migrane, its an awful head ache. This head ache could win an award for the most painful head ache that a head could ever have. My tummy hurts too! PERFECT! Its the cherry on top of my ice cream. I'm so going to study right after this. Red bull anyone?

OMG! Now, my ear hurts.

Today was suppose to be Beyonce's concert. But you know us malaysia, if theres cleavage theres SEXY. But, our people are allowed to wear bikini's at sunway lagoon. I don't get it. But, whatever politics are stupid. Its like backstabbing everyday.

I need to have fun! Party, after the examination. I will be going bar hoping and dance all night long. Anne, get your car ready. I'm bored of books.

It has been 2 days, two freaking days since I last have ciggarettes. Short of money to buy a box of ciggs. I would feel guilty asking for mom's money to buy ciggs. One more week untill allowance day!! 170 ringgit, here I come!

I'm going to study now,

until then,

I'm all about love.

2009-10-22T09:02:00.000-07:00

Drama's seems to be playing around with my life lately. Well, this does not brings me down and I don't feel any sadness facing dramas. I don't feel stress or whatever because there is more to life then talking about others. Yes, gossip is pleasure. But when you gossip about your friends, that is backstabbing. I do not do backstabbing. But I do talk about my friends. So, where does that put me?

The thing is, I've been back stab once in my whole life with my friend when I was 14. That was the worst backstabbing experience ever! Then, somehow it makes me more mature and friendly. Besides that, being backstab also helps you to know who your real friends are.

Am I correct?

I agree that I may seem very mean and sort of a bitch sometimes. Wait, all the time. But that does not mean I'm not a good friend. See, how they judge me? One person ignores another when I'm here being friendly and the another person blames me of being the mastermind of all this plan. I'm not. I never planned anything. I am here to help a friend. I am always here to help any friend.

Because, the last time I check and heard-- That is what friends are for.

Just when I plan to spend my holidays with you cool people. But because of this one thing. Each of us hate each other and each of us feels insecure.

Good luck for them finals.

until then,

Eh, eh theres nothing else I can say.

2009-10-08T09:22:00.000-07:00

Sorry bitches and butch. I've been kinda busy and lazy all in one body--See, it even rhymes. I've been busy going to open houses from one to another and I've been lazy to blog. Plus, I'm trying to push myself to study right now.

A lot has happen lately, like last week I was feeling kinda down and sad because people called me a fabio and stuff. But, praying really solved everything. So, I prayed to god to make the sadness go away. And somehow it did.

I've made a lot of new friends in the past 2 weeks. 4 of them are from kajang and one of them is the reader from this blog who lived in section 3, you know who you are megan fox. Luckily, those new people are cool and fun to be with.

FINALS! yes, my final examination is kinda around the corner. So, I have to study and study 24/7. Since its kinda around the corner, so my bro changed the laptop password. This means, I'm grounded from the internet. This world is cruel!

Anyway, I got to go now.

until then,

Well I thnk its true.

2009-09-30T00:54:00.000-07:00

"Nick ni rupa je ada otak tade. Your such a fabio" And people laughed :(

Its been a long time since I blog. Anyway, I'll be away for quite sometime since finals is just around the corner.

Anyway, a friend of mine just said that I'm a fabio and people agreed! Fabio means bimbo. Fabio is for guys. And I'm a fabio?

You know there is this new friend of mine whom I just met last week I think. I envy him a lot. He does not only have that look, but he's smart and kind and what a man should be. While I smoke, gossip and kept thinking that gua hirak is in Ipoh -.-" since yesterday that my friend told me it was in Mekah! Hirak and Perak it rhymes. So, don't blame me. Not only that, the new friend of mine is just baik! I never have a guy friend who is so kind that sometimes its annoying. Even Atiq is slowly becoming bad. I envy smart guys.

Do you think that I'm a fabio?

until then,

Its Already Raya!

2009-09-19T09:27:00.000-07:00

The day that I have been waiting for since the month of June :) Its RAYA! I never thought that this feeling that I'm feeling right now could happen. This feeling is kinda strange for me to feel during Raya. I feel, sad. Ramadhan is ending, and this ramadhan to me is the hardest because I actually completed fasting the whole month since 3 years. Yes, since the last 3 years I have not been fasting a full month. Maybe twice a week. But this year, its different. Its like god is trying to guide me to the right path. I;m thankful. Yes, I will try to be a better person. I will try to avoid the things that I use to do before. I'm sad because this could be my last ramadhan if god forbids. I'm sad because I miss my dad. At times like this, when my family gets together eating and preparing for raya is when I miss him the most. He would be the one so happy preparing for raya, he would help clean up the house in JB because its a tradition in my JB house to have an open house on the 1st day of raya. But since now we're in Shah Alam, things change and yes I've learn to accept it but I do miss the old times. I miss my dad so much, maybe during ramadhan his presence was near me and I often dreamt and think about him during ramadhan and now since its the end, I think that he's gone. Maybe its just my imagination. But yeah I could feel him.

I'm sorry if I did not pray 5 times a day for you dad. Maybe this is why I;m sad, because he is sad. Because I did not pray enough for him. I feel guilty.

But oh well, he is still in my memories and my heart. Life goes on.

Enough emotional stories. Now lets be HAPPY!
Super mom cooked Laksa Johor, Rendang Ayam and Sambal goreng pengantin today! It was effin nice! I love it! I just finish cleaning up the kitchen. And now, I'm blogging.

I hope this year's raya would be FUN! And of course those angpows! I hope I could at least get 500 :)

until then,

space.

2009-09-18T10:35:00.000-07:00

If I see you next to never, how can we see forever?

you know its just hard.

2009-09-15T12:13:00.000-07:00

What you did was what I never expected you to do. Your actions ain't human nature and you call yourself my friend. Why should I respect you when you don't even respect yourself? And from this day onwards, yes your my friend but I won't look at you the same way and you just lost my respect.

I'm sorry. But I thought you were different.

until then,

Hair Short

2009-09-14T11:37:00.000-07:00

Its almost 3.00am.

Anyway, this morning I had an instinct that there would be something going to be very exciting, sad or just somehting different is going to happen to me. So, I sort of pampered myself in the toilet at 5.30am after sahur. I wash my face with clarins and cetaphil, use soap and body wash and I spend 30 minutes on the hair. Shampooed, conditioner and moisterizer and my hair was shiny! I air dried it and it was super smooth and wavy and bouncy. Just the way I like it.

Since I spend almost an hour in the toilet. So, I was late for school. I arrived there at 7.35 and the ustad caught my long hair. Actually, he did not. My friend who was envious of my shiny long hair told the ustad and then, I got caught. Yes, Kepam told the ustad.

At least he did not cut my fringe off. He only trimmed my side burn and some parts at the back. It was horrible! It looks like a mouse ate my hair.

It ruin half of my day already. I will never ever talk to Kepam ever AGAIN!

Anyway, the day went well. I went back home at 12.15 because I was lazy to stay at school until 1.00pm and I called my mother to pick me up and told her that my eyes were itching. Well, it did. Then I went home and slept until buka.

When I woke up. My sister and Ezekiel was there. I played with him and bullied him until isyak. After that, he went home and my mom went to terawikh. My mom gave me 10 bucks to go and cut my hair. But the barber shop was quite far. So, I drove to the barber shop. HAHA. Well, my mom does not have to know.

I mean, I planned to go to the barber shop. But I went to Manja at PKNS. It cost me more than 10 bucks. And the haircut looks ok. The man/women whatever it is did not cut my fringe and he/she only trimmed my sideburn, the back and the top of my hair. I kinda like it. Because it makes not much different than my old hair.

I rush back home and my mom was still at the mosque.. WHEEW.

Sneaking Driving is FUN! haha and illegal of course. But FUN!

until then

I'm bacckk!!

2009-09-13T11:37:00.000-07:00

Its been a while. I know. I've been lazy and busy.

well, nothing interesting happen lately. But yesterday, I went shopping with Atiq and Nabilah.

We went to Bukit bintang, sungei wang and pavillion. Nabilah brought us to this cool underground shop which to me is like topshop the second and its cheap. I can't really tell you where it is because this place looks like a store on the outside but on the inside, its kinda like a vintage theme inspired place. Very 60s and 70s and cheap. I bought this Checkered Shirt which was really similar from topshop but mine cost only 35 ringgit. I wanted to buy the rolling stone fitted tee but not for raya. I'm going there this wednesday ! And I'm gonna buy the red blazer like Chuck Bass's wore in gossip girl :)

We went to BB mall and shop. Well, at least Nabilah did. I mean, the fashion now is all the same. Checkered shirt and the V neck t-shirt like they sell in topshop. Its all over the store! So, nothing really thrills me there because now I already have 5 checkered shirt and 2 V-neck t-shirt. So, we thought by going to pavillion, it would make things better. So we did. And its the same there too! What the hell right? And everyone is IN to topshop these days. I was thinking to buy that fitted navy blue blazer but there was a long queue. VERY LONG!

So, I went to forever 21. Nothing thrills me there too! It seems like I have everything. Except leather jacket. I was thinking to buy leather jacket. But sadly, I live in Malaysia and its hot here. That is why I always were small clothes and shorts and flip flops.

I was in KL for 3 hours now but I only bought one checkered shirt. And I bought it because its different than the other typical wannabe checkered t-shirt. I was tired and hungry. I was in a very bad mood. Its 6.45pm and we were out of pavillion. Nabilah and Nab went to Pizza Hut and Atiq and I went to McDonalds. It was a fullhouse! I was bummed out. So we went to Lot 10. I thought the food court there was air conditioned and stuff like that. But it was at the parking lot and it was smelly. The food was not nice. And I only ate fried chicken, curry and ikan bilis. My mood was not really good.

Then we went to ROMP. I helped Atiq pick a shirt and he tried it on. He bought this shirt which was really similar to mine but mine is white and his is brown. Anyway, as we were about to leave. I saw a black cashmere fitted pullover and I was in love. haha. It was only 60 ringgit and I bought it. After that, we went to BB plaza again to search for our shoes or pants. Atiq bought a white short pants. Well, not short but quarter. And I bought a black skinny jeans which looks like a tight when I wear it. Atiq borrowed me 30 ringgit for the skinnys because it costs 60 ringgit! And I will pay him back again by tuesday.

After that we went home. It was okay. I only bought 3 things. I'm going there again this wednesday. To buy that red blazer and 2 rolling stones and marilyn monroe t-shirt. Oh and I want them gladiators.

until then,

obsessed.

2009-09-03T09:37:00.000-07:00

There is this new girl her name is A, well she just started moving here this year and she moved back to her old school last 2 weeks ago. Anyway, she is friends with those losers bitches that we all hate. You know, the ones who can't keep their mouth shut and wants attention all the time. The kampung ones. So, she was my classmate. I never had a problem with her though. She seems very normal. I mean, very normal to join in those losers lah kan.

So, she moved to section 24 and she was put in the same class with my friend Azwan. Azwan is Shasha's boyfriend. Remember Shasha? The skinny girl who sometimes wears tudung and sometimes doesn't? Yeah her. Well, she's my ex-classmate and my ex-schoolmate. So, Azwan was being friendly I guess and ask A who was she friends with when she was schooling in section 9. And A did not know that Azwan was my friend.

Guess what that social climber said,

She said that she's my bestfriend and she is very close with me and my other friends such as Nikki, Sya, Siti and Yasmin. She said that me and her often hang outs and stuff.

-.-"

Azwan told Shasha about this and Shasha told Yasmin and Yasmoin told me. What if A knew that Azwan was my friend? She must be embarrased. Because everyone knows that I am not friends with her. Not as in NOT FRIENDS NOT FRIENDS. But as in, I barely even said one word with her in one day. I maybe talking to her if I needed a pencil or pen or something else.

But, oh well. Who doesn't want to imagine that they hang out with me? I'm like Nick Raja Adam. haha.

ok, done belagak-ing.

until then,

I'm just mean.

2009-09-02T07:54:00.000-07:00

What my friends thinks about me:

1. Siti thinks I'm sweet.

2. Atiq thinks that I love attention

3. Anne thinks I'm the most greatest friend ever.

4. Sya thinks I'm cute

5. Nikki thinks I'm funny.

6. Yasmin thinks I'm sexy.

what do you think about me?

until then,

1st september

2009-09-01T10:12:00.000-07:00

I can;t wait to go for Raya shopping. Since the last time I went shopping was before the spade party and I did not get the leather pants I wanted since I have fallen in la la love with the short pants that was similar like the ones in Jil Sanders fashion show.

:)

I need, Leather pants oh yeah and 2 new pair of shades. I want that Lady gaga look alike mickey mouse shades. I saw it yesterday on sale in parkson. Much more better than lady gaga's. Anyway, the reason why I need shades because my cousin sat on my Forever 21 shades -.-" And the blue one is getting boring and out of style.

I need fisherman sandles and skinny black jeans and a dark blue shorts. I need about 5 graphic tees and 2 shirts and oh! My cashmere sweater is missing. So I need a new one :)
A new shoes. Not sure what style. But I need it :)

and I'm done :)

until then,

30th and the 31st of August.

2009-08-31T10:01:00.001-07:00

30th of August 2009:

Woke up quite early because my mom wants me to accompany her to the market since its my nephew Ezekiel's first birthday and there were 4 families that is going to come to my house for buka. So, its like a small gathering for Ezekiel :)

I went home and bathe. After that I heard a loud MA MA MA. I went out of my room, and there he was. My mini me :) the apple of my eye and my sweetheart--Ezekiel :)
He was a little bit cranky because he just woke up from his nap and then knowing my family who was loud. He was awaken. My brother bought him a chu chu train that goes round and round on its track. It was cute btw. Ezekiel apparently did not played with the train, but the box -.-"

Since my other sister zaza and I have not bought a present for him yet. So, at 5.00pm we went to Subang Parade because theres toys r us there. Toys nowdays are so not fun ok! Its all about science and some stupid tembak2 thing that you can buy at a pasar malam. It was so not worth it. Then we decided to go to parkson. Parkson's was better. We bought him a mini basketball court where the basket can talk and keep scores. Killa cool!

And then, we went for glasses shopping. Well, at least my sister did. I had to wait. She was in that shop until 6.45pm!! We had not even wrapped the present yet. So, we went to the parkson customer service and ask this man to packed for us. Oh, how he took his own bloody time. To wrapped THAT ONE present took half an hour. It was then. 7.15

We rushed back home, thank you god that theres no jammed. Arrived home at 7.30 and then I took a sipped of tea and had to rush to solat berjemaah maghrib with the family. Oh and Atiq was there too because I invited him. Anyway, after solat I tried my moms Mac and Cheese and potato soup! Killer nice! And then we played with Ezekiel. He is very ACTIVE! Does not know how to stop! He opened his new present that my sister bought it for him. But he did not even play with it, he played with the box again! haha. The one who played the basketball mini court thingy was my brother and my cousin.

At 10pm, the house was empty. I sent Atiq back home. I was plannig to go out with Anne to celebrate Merdeka eve. Since she wants to go clubbing, so I turn down the offer because its Ramadhan and I'm tired.
31st August 2009:

I was awaken by my sister annoying voice-- "nick nick bangun!! nick nick bangun laaa. Teman I dgn sham pergi subang nk menang 5000 ni"
And being a good brother I am, I followed. There is this ogawa competition where you have to take a picture of you and an Ogawa product and send it with the most creative captions. So, we took some funny pictures. And then my sister went to buy that glasses she wants yesterday.

Went back home at 2.30 and I slept until 6.30pm. After buka, I helped my sister uploaded the pictures and edited it for her. We sent 5 pictures -.-" haha. But, I really think we can win them ALL! After my sister went to bed, then the line is clear for me to smoke. I had some ME time in my room, smoking and preparing for err.. yeah, SCHOOL! And now I'm blogging.

Oh, visit my tumblr. This is my un-anonymous tumblr :) SINCE everyone is asking for my tumblr. I made one un-anonymous. www.godasupernova.tumblr.com

Happy Merdeka Day :)

until then,

bloody hell!

2009-08-29T12:30:00.000-07:00

Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you. Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks, I will be right here waiting for you.

-right here waiting by richard marx-

I'm still sad though btw. I don't know why, wait. I do. But only god and Anne knows why. I need someone to hug me. Someone to really really tell me that I'm fine and I'm okay. Not just listening to my stories and tell me to chill and then get back to his/her life. Its not always about you, you know! Its not always about me either, although it should be. But unfortunately its not. I don;t like it when tears coming out of me. Its so sick! Its so emo! Its so not NICK! If its coming out over someones death is well, acceptable. But its for. GOSH! STUPID! Its for stupid reason okay. I hate being this way. Have I switched souls or what? This heavy weight in my heart, I can't take it no more. I need to break free. Its like I'm being chained. Its like I'm being JAILED!

This world is so small, I hate it. I am practically hating everything and everyone right now. I'm not usually this crazy emo bitch. But hay, a guy gotta cry. I've been listening to sad songs.

I'll be fine. I know that. I WILL be fine! If I don't then I'll be the new emo kid. But you know I will be fine. I know myself. I don't get sad often, and if I do I get over it A S A P!!

I need help..

until then,

parachute

2009-08-29T10:48:00.000-07:00

Cut My Parachute

I'm feeling down. I won't tell you why, can someone help me? Its not often I post something when I'm down and feeling frown. Thank you ANNE for being there, I love you. Your the best? I don't usually feel down. But, this weight in my heart. I can;t help it! I need to get it off. I feel sad, this is not normal for me ok. I need ANNE? I mean, to talk to her not as in to have her. Siti's gone and being happy now. Its like we switch body. Its usually her thats being emo. Looks like Ms Happy Tree Friends is being happy while I'm being Secondhand Serenade.

Only Anne could understand how I feel.

until then, :(

if I was a rich man.

2009-08-28T08:59:00.000-07:00

No one can impress me, my cash flow and never ever ends. Who said that money can't buy happiness they certainly don;t know where to shop :)

until then

baby you'll be famous.

2009-08-26T22:54:00.000-07:00

I am not a bad influence, when I'm friend with someone its not my fault that they want to be bad. I can't blame them from wanting to be me. Its them who wants to be me :)

until then,

I've fallen into a black hole.

2009-08-25T11:50:00.000-07:00

Anyway, my mom cooked mee curry and for desert, we had Bread pudding :) Yummy I know. I'm not a big fan of bread pudding because it has raisins in the bread. I like raisins as it is, not inside breads or cake.

After buka, I helped my mum clean the table. At 8.30, Anne pick me up and we went to the BBQ party. It was ok. But we only go there to show our face and then we went to Anne's house since her parents are not at home. We listen to music and eat and tell stories and dance.

At 11, she sent me back home :)

Tomorrow, I have Buka plans with Siti :)

She has gotten back with her boyfriend.. I'm happy for her :)

Oh and yeah, I have tumblr but its an anonymous blog.

until then,

This is so not normal.

2009-08-23T12:11:00.000-07:00

Before you read this, I have to tell you and make it straight that I am STRAIGHT as a straight line could ever be. Ok anyway:

This happens about a week ago, I did not tell anyone about this because I thought I was just being paranoid. A friend of mine called me as in randomly from out of the blue kind of call. Lets say this friend of mine is named K. Ok, anyway he keeps calling me and wants to hang out with me and I said ok. So we did. Just me and him, I thought it was like a guy to guy bonding time. You know, talking about sports and stuff. And we did! We did talk about sports and chicks. And then, he started paying for everything! By everything I mean everything. Our lunch cost about RM60 including ciggarettes. He paid. Being NICK. I was happy, that a FRIEND would treat me like this.

So he sent me back home. 15 minutes later he called-- He asks me "Tengah buat apa?" and I was like "err. online?" and he was like "oh, online dgn siapa?" and I was like "kenapa kau tanya aku ni semua" and he was like "oh saja." Being NICK again. I really did thought it was a SAHAJA thing. The next day, we went out. But this time was near, it was at the clubhouse. He wanted to pay, I said no. But he did.

He called me six times everyday. Sometimes seven or eight or even 12! Excluding rejected calls and missed calls. This was getting real weird. I mean, it was real weird.

And this confession came:

K, 12am--texted me;

"I never hang out with someone like you. I never met anyone like you and your kind of different from the other guys and I really like your style. I like your kind of guy"

I was a speechles bitch! This was really scary man. So, I started telling him straight stuff.

Nick, 12.30am--texted him;

"Ok, as a friend I would like to tell you that I thought you were straight. I mean, I never know you were this TYPE. I'm sorry but I'm straight and this is really weird for me. Please, stop calling me six times a day and spend your money on me. I might just say no. And, lets get things straight. IF you ever say that you like me again. I would punch you straight and I would find a gay guy for you and ask him to fuck you stupid! You get that? thank you."

K, 1.00am--texted me:

"oh I'm sorry. But, please don;t let THIS comes between our friendship." bla bla bla. this stupid gay men texted me.

And I was like. Malas nak layan. I blocked him from myspace and facebook. I deleted his messages and phone calls and phone number. He is just a virus. Like I said, I have no problems with gay men. As long as they don't be gay to me :)

This goes to all GAY friend of mine out there. Please don't try me, I;m not your type. I may act or look gay but I'm straight as a straight line could ever be.

until then,

rumors

2009-08-23T10:41:00.000-07:00

Rumors spread so fast.

2nd day of ramadhan.

2009-08-23T05:13:00.000-07:00

I've just finish my Buka :) which was awesome btw. My mom cooked Baked Cheese Potato and Butter Sauce Fish Fillet and the regular rice with lauk lauk. BURP! I had good food :)

I plan to go for terawikh today but mum went on and had forgotten about me. :/
At about 9.30pm, I will be meeting Atiq and Faqiha at Faqiha's house. Now, I feel like smoking. damn it!

I have to teman my cousin at my house while her parents and my mom is at the mosque. But that's okay. At least I have company :)

until then,

1st day if ramadhan

2009-08-22T10:38:00.000-07:00

put your hands on my waist,

Anyway, today was very tiring? And surprisingly, I did nothing. I wake up at 5, sahur and planned to have my subuh prayers but I slept until 3. Then, I was very very dizzy since I'm use to eating after waking up. I went online. But that was really boring. So, I went to the tv and watch disney channel. GAHH!

At 6.30, after Phineas and Ferb. hehe. I went and took a bath. At 7pm, I dried my hair and help mum set the table. 24 minutes after that. I had one whole jug of ice tea. It was heaven!! My mum cooked Kari Indonesia--which was AWESOME! And sup daging with french toast and my sister bought Ikan Bakar from the bazaar. Food never tasted so good. :)

Then I went to my room, for my maghrib prayers and read some verses from the quran and then I went online while eating my desert. Which was mom's famous pengat jagung. Well not famous. But famous to me :)

But, I'm still having migrane now. GAHH! maybe I put too much ajinamoto at my soup. That explains.

Planned to go for terawikh. But my mum did it at home. So, I did not go for terawikh neither did I do it at home. At 10.00pm, I feel like lighting up with my new pack of ciggs. So, I did. GAH! Was that heaven.. Its unhealthy but yeah its heaven. The saddest part about that is, no one to remind me of death everytime I smoke. That is Atiq. This guy, don't smoke. So, he reminds people about death when people start to smoke. But no one listen.

Next time.

But I use to go to the taman with him at night and light up. Now, he is far away. hmph.

anyway, happy sahur!

until then

Ramadhan

2009-08-21T10:15:00.000-07:00

"Sahaja aku berpuasa pada seluruh bulan Ramadhan tunai kerana Allah ta'ala"

Thats my niat, I don't go with the NAWAITU thingy because I don't understand it. As long as we niat and it comes from the heart. Then thats fine :)

What I love about Ramadhan is of course the home cook food that my mom always cooked for us. She does not cook rice on Ramadhan, I don't know why. But since I was little, my mum would only cooked rice with various lauk at sahur. Not buka. She would cook something western, italian, Mediterranean, arabic, chinese and indian for buka. I love it when she make her famous mash potatoes. Its better than chillies. Trust me. I love the cous cous with steak and erm, the soups! Everyday is a different soup. My favorite would be the potato and pea soup.

Is it me, or is the night of Ramadhan seems different? Every night in Ramadhan seems very peaceful, harmless and IDK there is this special thing about it that makes me calm.

OMG! So many buka plans with friends. I'm so effin short of money right now though.

Anyway, I will try my best and my hardest to puasa for one month! Lets try to be a better muslim now shall we?

until then,

the reason why I'm single.

2009-08-21T00:17:00.000-07:00

No. Its not because I'm gay or bisexual. Its just that I'm real fussy about girls. I like mine to be perfect. I mean at least close to perfect. Now here is my type of girl:

SHE has to look pretty, beautiful and hot
SHE have to be stylo. Its a must.
TALL. Not so tall, a lil bit shorter than me.
Long hair with nice smell
Speak proper english. So she can communicate well.
Independent and strong. You got to have the confidence.
I like them tan. But mostly white.
I want them skinny. Because I'm skinny.
The got to have the body.
They know how to dance in a party-- Appropriately. Not in a slutty kind of way.
They got to have a very very good voice to sing with me.
Have to be smart not bimbo-ish.

If you could find any of these for me. It means that you have found my soulmate.

Its goodbye.

2009-08-20T05:42:00.000-07:00

Ok, its pretty stupid for me to be emotional right now. But Atiq has moved. Not a different school but a different house. He was only my neighbour for a year and alot has change and experienced. The reason he moved to the same apartment is because his old house was being renovated into a mansion with 8 rooms.

If I am short of test pads or stationaries, theres no more Atiq to be there on the 4th floor. When I;m bored at night and need someone to hang out with he would not be as near as before. No one to watch me smoke. No one to talk about death to when I;m smoking. Well, what I'm trying to say is. No one near. No one to cover for me when I'm sneaking out and most of all no more partner in crime at night with him. As he'll be hundreds of footsteps away not like before when I only needed the lif to get to his house.

But, I still see him at school though anyway.

But, it'll not be the same. We studied here together when the PMR is near. We got our perfect tans here by the pool. We drove the car for the first time here. In Sri Permata. Well, who knew a year could bring so many memories.

well, to Atiq and family:

Happy Moving and you'll see this face almost everyday at your mansion. And everyday also when Mr and Mrs Abdullah is going to Hajj. hehe. KIDDING!

Anyway, Happy Moving and I'm sorry for not being such a big help to your family.

ciao.

until then,

Its life in the city.

2009-08-20T03:45:00.000-07:00

I'm going to be a VJ first then Public Relation and then a fashion designer.

I'll make an empire soon.

Remember me when I'm famous

until, then

I would be the first :)

2009-08-18T08:31:00.000-07:00

My school does not have a queen bee or even a king bee. Which is good. Which means that I could be the first King Bee.

All Hail King Nick.

And since so many people is like want to be me. I really do fit to be a King Bee. haha.

No. I tak perasan. Like those form 5. They said bad things about me wearing my big and cool glasses. Guess what? They are wearing it the next week. I'm such a role model right?

And Yasmin is bit by bit becoming like me. hehe. She even said that I'm her mentor on her blog. And Atiq, sometimes follow my fashion sense, wears my clothes. Even my bags.

ok. Lets check:

I have possies, I'm a role model, I get invited to almost all parties and I'm a bitch.

hahahaha. So, I'm the first king bee :)

until then,

p/s-dont layan me.

when you fight bitches with Nick-- Nick wins :)

2009-08-17T05:35:00.000-07:00

My friend Atiq could be annoying at certain times. Yes its true. But that does not mean that some people could treat him like he is not human. Well, he keeps telling me about a certain someone who treats him like shit. That someone is one of his classmates. Although you did nothing to me, but Atiq is me friend. TREAT HIM WELL.

This is what they did to Atiq.

When Atiq was sleeping at Physics, one of them stomp her pencil box right in front of his face. Well, I know its not good to sleep in class but its not good to be rude either. She sometimes even yelled at Atiq saying that she is sick of him. What did he do? Like I said, he is annoying at times. Maybe I understand you. But even I don't treat people like that. No wonder the WHOLE class hates you. Seriously not lying. I told my friends about what you did. And they hate you too!

News flash! This just in---well for you maybe. Because my mom told me to be nice to others. The TV even told us to be nice to eachother. Have not you heard the phrase BUDI BAHASA BUDAYA KITA? Being a BITCH like you is not cute at all. Sorry to say.

But if you hurt Atiq one more time. You are going down. VERY DOWN!

I did not say that I am perfect. But you think you are so perfect. Guess what? Your not! Tolong la, treat people nicely if you want the world to treat you nice pulak. Really, karma works.

And who the hell are you to tell someone you are sick of THEM? Who the fucking hell are you man?!! We are the ones who should be the fucking shit sick of you! People like you should not be in this world. Tolong la. Please don't be a childish freak and a bitch. Your not like the REGINA GEORGE type if bitch. At least she's pretty. Your like the big fat ugly bitch who wants to be Regina george.

Guess what?! I'm a bigger bitch if I want to be.

siapa makan cili, cepat cepat la pergi minum air.

until then,

new class

2009-08-17T05:00:00.000-07:00

Monday madness.

Today was not a fun day. I did not come for one week, the next thing I know my class has been change to another place. If it is better than my other class, then thats fine. The thing is, its much more worst! The fan is not working very well. And the sun rises from the right side of the window and that makes the class much more hotter. The windows frame has been eaten by termites and its just so dusty! I hate that class. The reason we change class is because its much more easier for the teachers to MEMANTAU this class than our old class. Teachers are selfish lazy bitches. I mean not all. But you guys would know who the hell that I'm talking about. yes. its MISS R. I hate her. I do. I mean, as an individual she would be ok. But as a teacher shes not.

well, she gives me HELL.

until then,

oh man. shes hot.

2009-08-15T12:29:00.000-07:00

Nick waved.

M-Hyeee, I'm Marsha.
N-Hyee, I'm Nick

When I was queuing. There was this girl staring and smiling at me. And shes REAL hot and stylish. My type. So, I smile. and she smiled back. I know her, met her somewhere. But where?

masa balik. Ternampak lagi. I ask her name, it was Marsha. Masa nak mintak number, tak sempat. DAMN IT!

Then, I saw her on the escalator. She was with her boyfren which was not hotter than me. So yeah wtvr. She waved at me for no reason. Then, I wave back. After that, it was the end of my love at first sight.

ah damn!

until then,

p/s-stylish,pretty,hot and beautiful eyes.

WORLD STAGE!

2009-08-15T11:38:00.000-07:00

It was a last minute thing. I swear!
Anyway, I went there at 3. Surprisingly, there was not much people when I queue for the line. I was so scared that I could not find my friends. But then, I saw Muzzamel and Muadzam. I ask them if they saw Yasmin and they said Yasmin was at the front of the stage. I squeeze myself to the stage. And there she was. We screamed! haha. After that, we hugged and wait.

Standing up for 2 hours with no fresh air with rain was not fun. So, I went to Muzzamel and Muadzzam and chill with them at the back. Sabrina, Kiestina, Shasha, Azwan and Fitrah were there too. Eyh, wait. Fitrah was at the front with Yasmin. OK anyway. A few minutes later. Estranged perform.

I was ready to dance like hell. But my friends were boring. And I'm scared to go to Yasmin again because now its like PACKED! So, I went to chill with them at the back while listening to estranged. Another few minutes later, it was BOYS LIKE GIRLS! OMG! They were awesome!! I'm not a big fan. But yeah, they're awesome! I wish Aqeel were here to see them. But hey, they are coming here soon!! Maybe next year. I dance like hell when they sang "the great escape." Well at that time, my friends was not boring anymore. haha. We jumped and banged our head. we rock the night.

Anyway, after that there was an hour break. Yasmin and Fitrah went to the back and sat with use. They were all sweaty. After the break it was Raygun! OMG they are ok la. HAHA. But I dance like hell to their music too!! hehe. Anyway, after Raygun was Miss Pixie Lott. I only know what song. And that is MAMA DO. haha. That was went my throat was hurt. Now, my voice sounds real deep and sexy. Its like puberty all over again.

After Miss Pixie Lott. Theres another hour break. So, I went to the back again and chill. Saw a few of my friends, aquaintances and schoolmates there too. Dance to the dj's music which was boring anyway. But, I'm full of energy.
AFTER THAT WAS MY FAVORITE FAVORITE BAND!! THE ALL AMERICAN REJECTTSSSS!!!!

I dance, scream, head bang and went crazy sampai my friends pun terkejut. HAHA. I know the lyrics to their songs from first to last. I was sweating like I never sweat before. After that, it was another 30 minutes break. Then, I saw my sister.

A few minutes later, it was Kasabian. I only know one song from this band which is FIRE and it was awesome btw. When Kasabian perform, my friend Azrieman carried me on his shoulder and I got to actually see them! It was awesome!!

And then, at 12. The Concert was coming to an end. There were explosion on the stage and the volcano. IT WAS SUPER DUPER AWESOME!

until then,

blogger boy.

2009-08-13T06:58:00.000-07:00

I'm watching an episode of blogger boy. The last episode that I watch from this show was about a gay teen running away from home because his father caught him hiding porn magazines, cd and stuff(s) like that. Not normal porn. Gay porn.

And, after watching the show. I really did thought it was gay.

Todays episode was about the blogger boy's ex-girlfriend who married a gay men.

This show has written GAY all over it.

Anyway, I am glad to tell you that I'm H1N1 free! Although, I still have my fever. As long as I dont have the disease. I'm watching project runway right now. This show really do inspire me to be a fashion designer and also me avoiding the fashion industry. Its full of gay men. I'm scared.

until then,

OMG no! this is crazy!

2009-08-12T20:36:00.000-07:00

I actually miss school.

Anyway, it has been more than 24 hours and I'm still waiting for my blood test results. I feel so unlucky. I hate being sick.

I'm avoiding listening to the american rejects for now because it hurts me so bad that I'm not going to World Stage. I hate being sick.

I miss hanging out with my friends, I miss my school friends! I miss my cigarettes and also missing me singing in front of the whole class. I hate being sick.

I miss Siti, Atiq, Sya, Nikki, Yasmin and my classmates. I hate being sick.

I miss gossiping using my mouth and not typing. I hate being sick.

I miss my art tuition that now, I actually forgot how to draw. I hate being sick.

I miss the OUTSIDE world.

how could it be so mean to me. I'm just shock, that the moment when I got my world stage tickets, I can;t go. I'm not sad about me being quarantine. Its just that why now?! Why quarantine NOW?! The worst part about this is.. Yes, I got the mosh pit tickets.

I've given that away to someone who wants it.

I'm stuck here untill Sunday.

did I mention that I hate being sick?

until then,

I have a long way to go.

2009-08-11T11:20:00.000-07:00

What am I waiting for? I should have taken the chance. I'm such a stupid ho..

Anyway, this just in-- My brother is getting married next year in the month of June. And, NO I'm not wearing a traditional baju melayu. In fact, my brother is going to pay for my Tailor Made suit! yeay ME! Oh and yeay my brother too :)

I'm not sure what fabrics to buy and what looks good on me. But, I'm thinking about wearing what Nick Jonas wears in the MTV VMA's. Thats kind off cool too. Since my mom forbids me wearing like Chuck Bass, she said he looks like JOKER from bat man. But, I'm still getting a Baju Melayu for the nikah and the other reception. Who cares about being best men anyway, since obviously I'm going to be THE BEST MEN there.

I love it when one of my siblings get married. The rehearsals, food tasting, family meetings and stuff like that.

I can;t wait to start!

until then,

Its not fair.

2009-08-11T11:15:00.000-07:00

Are your secrets where you left them? I don't remember you told me not tell anybody. Well, oopss. I just did.

until then,

Demam. Worried and afraid.

2009-08-10T08:31:00.000-07:00

I had a fever since saturday. On Sunday, I went to the clinic. The long queue and those little annoying children running around makes my fever much more worst. The doctor was rude too. She did not even check me properly. So, she gave me antibiotic and panadols.

Medicines are almost finish, still no changes. At 4.30am, I went to my moms room because I was cold eventhough the fan was not on. She said that I had a high temperature and so, she sponge bath me. Apparently, I was not feeling better at all. I felt the same. Cold, tired, body aches and gosh! coughing, sneezing and diarhea. What does that tells you in your mind?

So, today I went to the clinic again. This time, its a better clinic. The doctor said that I am quarantine until wednesday because I may be having you-know-what or dengue. I'm scared. YES! I hope by wednesday, I'll be perfectly fine or else--MY FIRST BLOOD TEST!

until then,

p/s-my mum said that I should be thankful that god give me sickness. It means he is erasing all of my sins. WOW! Banyak nya dosa aku.

pfft, I am

2009-08-06T08:05:00.000-07:00

Those form 5, some of them are hypocrites. They talk bad about me when I wear that big glasses but look at them now. Following me much? Well at least, they have great fashion sense to follow what I do. I can't blame me for being a trend setter.

ur taking back whos love?

2009-08-03T08:13:00.000-07:00

I am so cool that you are never cooler than me :)

Anyway, today was an OKAY day. Went to school and went back home, slept and then watch tv and eat.

FUN! I know!!

Urgh, there is someone on my facebook who is related to me that cannot be trusted. Because my aunt knew that I drove and shes being so annoying about it.

Oh, and there is this classmate of mine. They are such a desperate wannabe. 2 of them la. I mean, they said that I budak baru nk UP. If you don;t know what that means, it means that I am just a guy who JUST tried everything and being so 'OMG' abt it. But, they are the ones in CLASS who said that they tried cocaine and stuff and being so BATAK about it which makes it ovbvious that they never tried any of that stuff. Its just influence by my other friends. PITY them, lets laugh!

They think that ONCE you have gotten in a club, ONCE you have been into a party and ONCE you've sneak out the house makes you cool. But you only try it once at 16! I've been through that stage before when I was 13. And now, I'm slowing down because I've grown! When you have just started. Siapa yg baru nak UP sekarang?

Do you know what they say about you? They said that you are a desperate wannabe. They said that you think your the COOLEST person in this whole entire section 9 that no one is cooler than you. Wake up slutface! and guess what?! I'm cooler than you.

tak payah ah nak batak sangat telling everyone that you tried this and that when I know that you have never tried them.

But on the other hand, its fun watching you being a wannabe. You social climber!

tata!

until then,

6.32am just got back.

2009-07-31T15:32:00.000-07:00

a man with low self esteem,

noo. That does not describe me. Anyway, at 1.00am Anne and Nikki said that their car was full and they can't pick me up at home. So, I called Siti and begged her to go out with me since lately she has been very down and sad. Let me cheer her up then. I drove to her house at 12.30am. Everything went so well! I mean, I really can drive now. Except when theres trafic light. But it took me almost an hour to go to Sitis house because the main road to go to her house is closed. So, I have to used another road which was full by police btw. But, I think that they think that I look matured. So they did not ask me to stop the car. I actually had forgotten the way to Sitis house that I went in circles almost 5 times. HAHA. Anyway, about 1.20am I found my way to her house. Passengers who sits with me are cursed. Because, I tend to get so nervous when there is a passenger beside me. But, everything went well except for the trafic lights and the time where I wanted isi minyak.

We went to barra and met Nik Aizu and his gang. Thank you god Nik knows how to drive manual so I ask him about the trafic lights and stuff like that. We waited for Sitis new BF Pa'an to arrive. So this means its like APPROVAL and JUDGING day for Siti. 2 hours later Pa'an came and at first sight, he does not look 2o at ALL! So, I do not want to be someone uninvited to their dating plan. So, I went back home. As I was driving, Siti called me and ask me to hang out with her again. I park my mums car and then Pa'an came and pick me up.

We had no idea where to go..

So, we went to Tasek Shah Alam which was kind of creepy when you go there at 3am. Everything seems like a KAMPONG GHOST STORY, very MISTY and DARK. Then, 2 suspicious men came. So we moved on to MCD section 2 since I wanted to pee. OMG! I met the IK2 Perdagangan teacher. He looked at me like he wanted to eat me. I dont know whats his problem. And then, we drive around town until 4am-- we went to Bukit Section 12 to KONON KONON see the sunrise. It was fun hanging out there because I got to know Pa'an more. He is such a nice guy and very warm and humble. Someone that I want Siti to be with. Someone who can give her freedom and someone who can guide her to the right path :)

The police came at 5.30 and ask Pa'an what we were doing there. He talked with the Police man and the next thing I knew, the police was not there anymore. At 6am, 2 suspicious men came again. So, since there is nothing to do and the sunrise is so lembab today. We went back home.

I got back at 6.30...

Nick: I tak faham kenapa orang boleh sayang another person so hard.
Siti: Huh asal?
Nick: Kalau ada orang sayang I macam so hard, i akan lari kot
Siti: ahaha. Jahaaat.
Pa'an: Maybe orang yang sayang the other person tu memang sayang betul betul.

then silent. He made me think. SHIT!

until then,

love me up!

2009-07-31T04:32:00.000-07:00

I love Friday and thank god its Friday!

I just got back from OTWC. Hanging out with Faqiha who just got back from Boarding School. GOSH I miss her much?

We talk and talk. Well, mostly I am the guy who did all the talking. After that, Atiq went to baskin robbins and bought the chocolate maui brownies and then we went to the PADANG belakang concorde and hang there and talk again.

anyway, I need to solat now. tata.

until then,

yeah!

2009-07-30T06:32:00.000-07:00

ATTENTION: MUST WATCH THIS VIDEO I MADE!

www.youtube.com/ninick17

listen to all my songs and tell me what you think!

there is something about tonight.

2009-07-30T03:11:00.000-07:00

I've been happy for a long time now. What I mean is, I've been too happy. No dramas, No fights, No conflict. NOTHING! This is what I want my whole life. Relaxation. But one thing not accomplish. And this THING is, oh its better left unsaid.

Anyway,
I want you to visit this blog and listen to this girl sings. www.farahasyura.tumblr.com
My friend Farah Asyura, she will go far someday. GOSH! Her voice is like an angel. I la la love it.

Behind all of my happiness, there is this one hole in my heart. I mean, its not sadness but its emptiness. I rather not say it here.

GAHH!

I just want to get over this. OVER everything. I need to keep my distance. Maybe its better ignoring it. I got to see it in another different angle. Like its bad, and it could ruin everything. I need to you know stop holding it on. But gosh! I tried, I fail.

Until then,

I know I should not have kept you waiting,

2009-07-29T06:06:00.000-07:00

Yo, readers! I'm sorry if I have not update this blog for almost a week now. This is because I'm out of Ideas of what to post.

I have not been busy doing anything. I'm being much more lazy day by day. But maybe this is just a phase. Oh, and my mum said that I will continue on my tuition even after my finals. This is because of SPM! Hmph.

I just want to break free until this year ends. Then, next year I will be studying my ass off. I swear I will.

Oh, I want to be known as a SOCIAL. You know, like Olivia Palermo. She's a SOCIAL.
haha.

okay I'm crapping.

until then

here I am,

2009-07-25T08:24:00.000-07:00

I hope that no one called me yesterday as I was busy mingling. I mean, Thariq was suppose to call me but my battery went out and I went out with my friends to this place called LEPAQ near hartamas. While,they were out at republic. Anyway, I check my call log. No missed calls. So, I feel less guilty.

I am now at home on a saturday night, HOW LAME? I mean, it always ends up like this. My friday nights are awesome but when it comes to the WHOLE day of saturdays-- ITS JUST LAME! From morning till at night. Thinking of sneaking out afterwards. But oh, idk.

OH! Farah Asyura said that I was hot and I am MR. Popular and she said that she really mean it. I was so touched! Well, I like her style! Its so--HIPPIE!

I am using my moms MINI laptop. Gosh! I'm having trouble typing because the keyboard is so small. Anyway, I can't wait to start my online business! Selling retro, vintage and cool stuffs! Its going to be called SIXTIES CIGARETTES and its coming soon this OCTOBER. Don't spend your duit raya at the mall! Spend it in my blog!!

I hope it'll be a success.

I gtg now, before this laptop gets thrown out of the window.

until then,

oh, this thing is normal

2009-07-22T08:31:00.000-07:00

Check out the chat box in my friend's blog www.plainwhitebitch.blogspot.com

Someone said I'm "pathetic"

I do not know if this girl/guy knows me or not but whatever. I mean, people being jealous of me is real normal. So I don't really care about it that much. As long as they are talking about me because it is better to be talked about rather than being unnoticed right? Anyway, if you think that I'm being a little snobbish, this is because I'm dedicating this post to that UGLY girl/guy who thinks I'm pathetic.

If you want to be my friend, then be IT! because I'm friendly laa. I don't bite.

You can comment anything you want in my chat box ok UGLY bitch? Maybe if you have BALLS, you can show yourself up. But if you are a girl, then grow some BALLS to face me. I just want to see how you look like. I might just say HI. Don't be scared,

Internet apa barang bodoh?!

white glamorous

2009-07-21T05:31:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how to spell GLAMOROUS. I actually have to sing the fergie song glamorous. damn!

Anyway,

Next month is Ramadhan and then 3rd day of Raya, my brothers engagement. Since I am not going to be his bestmen. He suggested that I'll be his wedding singer. But, whatever! The wedding is like going to be in June 2010. So, theres time to think about what song I'll sing.

I can't wait!

why?

2009-07-20T00:11:00.000-07:00

Wow, shocking truth--

I'm not a big fan of your stories :)

I don't respect someone who does not respect themselves
I may act different in public. But yeah, when its time for privacy between you and I, you're gonna get it!
I may not want someone like YOU to TOUCH me.
YOU disgust me
This may seem harsh, but between this blog, god and I-- I personally think that your a slut.
I don't be friends with TACKY bitches like you.
Your so low and stupid. By stupid, I really mean STUPID!
I do not know why you are so YUCKISH
I don't look at you the same way ANYMORE.
This is not the end, but I just disgust you and you lost my respect. I think your stupid

The truth hurts right? Well, pay for the consequences bitch! You did not lose me as a friend, you just lost the best part of me being your friend.

until then,

p/s- siapa yang makan cili, cepat cepat lah minum air :)

oh and, I've always thought that you always care about you and your selfish. You made this annoying fucking pity face on that makes me disgust you even more.

DON'T ASK ME WHO, AFTER READING THIS. ITS BETWEEN THIS BLOG, GOD and I

blogging, I miss

2009-07-19T09:46:00.000-07:00

The Royals

Its been 2 days since I've been at home. My eldest sister got this major migraine thing and since my mom is worried so she went to my sisters house from thursday until sunday. I went there on saturday untill sunday. GOSH! My nephew Ezekiel a.k.a Mini Me, is so cute. I love him to bits. And I have been co-babysitting him for 2 days. Yes, tiring but it was cool.

Now, I'm at home preparing for school while blogging while watching I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. Gosh, I miss my home. Home sweet freaking home! Nothing feels as comfortable. Anyway, my mom is going to the hospital to visit my sister tomorrow morning and I will be home alone until tuesday? Well, me time at last! But there will be no internet access for 2 days. I think its kinda cool because I am recovering from Internet Addiction :)

I gtg now, good-the-bye!

until then,

eyes on fire,

2009-07-15T10:41:00.000-07:00

I simply can't wait for Hari Raya because the third day of raya, my beloved brother will get engage and on that night itself we will be having this HUGE family dinner on a cruise and in the morning, we will go to leisure farm which I do not know what to be excited about there since the activities available in Leisure Farm are Horse Riding, Swimming, Golf and some other things which is not that interesting to me. But, I just can't wait for Hari Raya!
Yasmin borrowed my Jodi Picoult book and tomorrow she will lend me her new moon book. Yes, if you are wondering why I'm only starting new moon. This is because, I am not a really big fan of big books. Because big books makes me stick to it like forever, I sometime do not eat or bath just because I want to know what happens next in the next page or chapter. And at the end of the day, I feel iritated with myself.

I can't wait to go shopping for Hari Raya also!! I hope this year's shopping would be like last year, but even MORE fun. I feel like I want to go to sungei wang because I feel that I could get more nice things there which looks kinda expensive but it only cost 40 ringgit or less, But obviously my mom would want to go to mid valley since its like a tradition for me to shop there ever since forever!

Anyway, I just watch twilight AGAIN! haha. Its fun! Don;t blame me. Day by day, I feel like I want to be Edward Cullen. To me, he is so cool. Well, whatever it is Vampires are cool!

I'm typing anything that I feel like I want to type, just to kill time. There are 15 minutes left to download ONE song from the twilight soundtrack. I'm currently listening to Eyes on Fire by Blue Foundation. The song is real nice, its real dark and depress. This is the song in the movie when Bella nearly got hit by the car.

Oh, did I told you that I have encountered with Edward Cullen wannabe Malaysia? No, its not me. But someone else. This happens like in April. There was this guy that THINKS he is Edward Cullen, the way he stare at you is really the same. So, just for fun-- I called him, I shouted "EDWARD!" And he looked at me and come chasing after my friends and I, to everywhere we go. I;ve seen this guy before with Anis. He was behind us on the escalator and he was staring at Anis like Edward Cullen. I have got to admit that he does look 40% like Edward. The way he dresses, is really like Edward. I think he should be around my age or 15.

But his friends looks kind of friendly. I still can remember the way he looked at me, its like he is flirting with his eyes with Nikki and Anis. But when he looked at me, its like he is really going to eat me. Maybe because I called him Edward. Ok, not CALLED but SHOUTED at him. Whatever, its just for fun anyways right.

Siti has been missing for a few days now, I miss her a lot! :/

Do you realize that I'm actually babbling and typing some random stuff here. Thank you god! There is only 10% left to finish the downloading. Anyway,
I hope that I could see that Edward wannabe guy again and ask him on how to be Edward, haha. Really, I think its like so cool to be Edward Cullen. He may not be THE most good looking guy ever but he is just so coool! YEAY! Finish downloading, tata drama.

until then,

oh love,

2009-07-14T03:56:00.000-07:00

when the dogs are barking at the new moon, whistling a new tune and hoping it would come soon, So that they could..

Today was normal, I went t0 school and got back. Slept until Asar, eat and now I'm facing my laptop. I'm googling, myspace-ing, facebook-ing and think-ing. When will I be Study-ing?

I know, right.

OMGOMG! Robert Pattinson did not just BITE tyra banks neck! Oh, hell yeah he did! haha. I'm watching it right now. Go, IDOL!

Anyway, I nak mandi now,

until then,

Edward Cullen

2009-07-13T07:48:00.000-07:00

Call me by that name now,

Anyway, yesterday I just finished reading My sister's keeper. Because I somehow misplaced the book on saturday. And the MOST shocking ending happen. Yes, she died! I'm not going to tell you who, but she died. I mean, I know that she is going to die somehow, but not that way. I mean, that is so unexpected. I started reading the book at 12am, there were hundred pages left and I;m not exaggerating. I finished reading the book at 2am. And after I knew the ending, I went to my kitchen and had a plain gardenia with no butter or anything and yes, I cried. I just can't help it. I slept at 4am because I really can't get over her death :(

Well, call me drama. But the book really touches you. Its like really emotionally indescribable.

My mum woke me up at 7am, and that was pretty late. I bath and it was really cold since my mum is quitting heater because she said that hot water can make your skin looks old and cold water is healthier. While I shampooed, my brain feels like ice.
I pack my bags for school and left the house at 7.40, I arrived school at 7.45. Had to sit outside the hall since I was late, and I had to watch all the successful students get their button badge and yes, there are so many successful students in my school and I was tired of sitting outside.

I never really liked the assembly, it hurts my ass because we sit on the floor. Sometimes, its so hot and smelly. But most of the times, my ears hurt hearing the teachers babble non stop. Assembly sucks!

Anyway, back from school I slept until 6pm. Bath, tvee, dinner and watch twilight for the 3rd time. :)

until then,

my first time :)

2009-07-12T02:28:00.000-07:00

I'm not a big fan of twilight the book. I've read it last year and its ok, its not BAD but just average. Believe me, today is the first day that I watch the whole entire movie. It was pretty good but to me, the movie is kinda slow. Obviously, books are much more better. But yeah, the movie was fun. And I so want to be Edward Cullen, not Robert Pattinson, but Edward Cullen. Bella Swan to me is horny.

Can't wait for new moon :)

And now, I'm listening to Robert Pattinson song--never think.

LAME me. I know,

until then,

Friday night with not that much light,

2009-07-10T19:53:00.000-07:00

This kind of troubles are the stories that I will tell my kids

Yesterday I sneak out again. This time with no car and Atiq is following. Anne and boyfriend Danial pick us up at Permata. And then we went to Asia Cafe and hang there for a while with Nikki, Nina, Nikki's "FRIEND" Nik, Nik's friend Amirun and this bald guy which I forgot what his name is. we gossip and laugh until the time on my watch says that it is already 1am. -.-"

Since the snooker place in Asia Cafe was fully booked, we went to Rack instead. I'm glad that we did not go to Asia Cafe because the snooker place there smells like pee. Rack is not better also, but at least it did not smell like cheap beer.

We played snooker and foosball. I was being so gedik on the snooker table and you would not wanna know what I did there. We were at Rack until 3am.

After that, they plan to have a drink. But, instead we went picnic at the Bukit Jelutong taman. It was cold and I was freezing until I needed to pee. I peed behind a tree instead, haha. We had candies and coke that we bought at KK mart and then we just hang around and laughed our ass out until I needed to pee again. But since the mineral water is finished and I have nothing to wash my hands with. So, I hold on to myself.

We went back home at 5am, and Atiq slept over my house.

It was all and all fun!

until then,

breath in, now HOLD!

2009-07-09T08:32:00.000-07:00

if you are the air that I breath, tell me why I'm suffocating

Just got back from lighting up with A, I'm the one who lights up not him. I can't wait until its Ramadhan and then its time for shopping. I just clean up my wardrobe and god, I found a lot of cool shirts and T shirts. But yet, I am still itching to go shop for more. I need more short shorts, since its hot here in Malaysia. Oh, and I'm going to start collecting money because I will go to Taiping soon to buy some bags and some vintage clothes and stuff at their market because I want to make an online business. Yeah, thank you very much. My new motto is "Spend Money to Make Money"

To you fashion addicts, check out my soon to come fashion BLOG. Spend your money there and shop till u drop on the net, because its the 21st century now. Who goes to the mall anyways?

My online business blog is coming soon in October, selling vintage and preppy fashion style.

Until then,

La la la la life is wonderful

2009-07-07T08:12:00.000-07:00

Oh, I found a new book. Maybe this could be the 3rd best book I have ever read so far. My first would always be Where Rainbows End by Cecilia Ahern, my second would be the Gossip Girl series and maybe my third would be My sisters keeper.

My sisters keeper. The movie will be premiered in Malaysia I think, somewhere in August? Idk, But what I do know is that the book is fun to read and yet it makes me feel sad and I also feel very stressful. I mean, I don't understand WHY does Kate parents have to be soo negative. Since she was 2, they said that she is going to die soon. But hell no she did not! She's living her ass out until 2010. And 2010 have not even arrived yet!

But anyway, I have not yet finished the book. 100 plus pages left.

soo, goodbye

until then

Last Night

2009-07-05T04:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I sneak out of the house at 1am and then I drove to section 13 Ali's corner. They say I drive like crazy because I nearly hit everything that is in front of me. Anyway, I hit the pole when I tried to parked. Thank you god theres only a minor scratch behind the left side mirror. And then Amirun helped me to parked the car properly. At 3.00am, we went to Barra and had shisha.

It was ok.

until then,

Its been so long!

2009-07-03T04:35:00.000-07:00

Well, just so you know. My drama brother keeps on saying to my mum that his lap top which I always use is not working very well and he blame it on me. So, I did not touch his lap top ever since and my own lap top is going to die soon. So, I don't got no internet connection except at Atiq's house--Using his laptop that is going to die soon too. :(

You know I have this internet addiction problem right? I swear I do. I got nervous just now because it has been almost a week since I blog. I do go online at school for like a few minutes but just to check any mails, picture comments or comments. And now, I'm in my room secretly using my brothers lap top and tak ada apa apa rosak pun. :)

Besides that, I have been well kinda busy lately. The F1 competition is really around the corner. Wait, its not around the corner. It has passed the corner and now its going straight. Thank you god, proposals and sponsorship letters has been sent to various companies via e-mail. Their Coperate Communication personal e-mail :) And 3 of them has emailed me back and they said that they will get back at me as soon as possible. I hope that is a good sign.

The seniors said that it is going to be very stressful for me. But so far, I think I'm doing fine. I do get GUBRA when thnings do not go my way. But I keep telling myself that everything is going to be fine and my team could do their best in this competition. And I hope the other team would too. But the other team and some of my team members are like keeping secrets from eachother and the other team Resource Manager wants to help my team but some of her team members tak bagi. And I want to do the same thing for her, but some of my team members said NO.

So, whtever. I only want to get my work done.

I got to go now. FAST! I hear my moms footsteps and I have a feeling that she is heading to my room right this very moment. Ciao! Kiss kiss hug hug :)

until then,

oh and P/S- Wish me the best of luck.

241

2009-06-26T00:28:00.000-07:00

Its my 241 post and I had just read every single post in my blog and in every post takes me back to the memories and events that happen. Its like I just rewind myself to the past and I could feel the stress going through PMR again. The fun after PMR and the drama that happened last year. The post about my nephew Ezekiel and my niece who died from leukimia is here in this blog and I read it all and I even shed a tear. this is my 241 post and if you sum up 2,4 and 1 it becomes my lucky number 7. It took me about 2 hours to finished every single word that I use in this blog and I'm going to close this blog on my birthday on 17 April 2011. When I finally reach 18 and then I will start a new blog. The blog about me going through college life pulak. And this blog would be printed.

until then,

promiscuous

2009-06-25T08:36:00.000-07:00

Oh, the title is just for fun I'm listening to Nelly Furtado's dirty songs. I'm in my dance mood now. I'm currently addicted to Blue Da Ba Dee. remember that song? Theres a little part of that song in my lips like sugar by flo rida.

Anyway, I'm still LAZY to go to school although I know that its fine now and whatever but I don't really care. Just one more day of me organizing myself and recovering from the pain of failure from the mid terms results and then I'm back. New nick and fresh.

Until then,

P/S: I miss my dad :/

love you long time,

2009-06-23T07:55:00.000-07:00

when I talk, I'll talk like I handle it

I did not go to school today because everyone is not going and obviously when everyone is not going, there will be no studying so why go? Plus, my mum is afraid that I will get infected and she said that I have to go to school tomorrow because the news said that my school is not closed. But, I said that the news advice us not to go to school and she kept quiet.

:)

I'm listening to MANEATER over and over again. This song is good shit! I would go on a date with a maneater because they are my kind of women. But I wonder if I am their type of GUY.

GASH! Tomorrow is Najjy's bday. Atiq and I are going to go to her house since she can't go out because she's quarantine.

until then

make them crack go round

2009-06-22T09:14:00.000-07:00

I went to school today, but I stayed only after recess because I sneezed a lot and the teachers had gone paranoid and ask me to go home. I did.

The reason I sneezed was because I sat under the fan.

:)

Anyway, I feel kind off dizzy now. It makes me worry. But I hope that its just a normal migraine because I do not want to stay in a hospital where no one can visit you except nurses. WAIT! On second thoughts! Lets go to the hospital. Maybe the nurse looks like Kim Kardashian who helps the patients to go to the toilet and bath. haha!

anyway, I'm not going to school tomorrow :)

And I hope that H get well soon!

until then,

its contageous!

2009-06-21T07:13:00.000-07:00

You lucky H1N1 4SIK bastards! Your class gets one week of free holiday's just because this one unlucky girl has gotten infected. I really hope that it could be infectious through sights.

Anyway, to dearest H-- Get well soon, you do fine. Don't be turning into a pig! but if you do, make sure your pink!

until then,

you should know

2009-06-18T23:50:00.000-07:00

I want you to know, that I maybe weak physically but emotionally I'm strong.

don't lie

2009-06-18T23:18:00.000-07:00

The way you said it to me like I'm the one who is supposed to be blame. Being a bitch is cute sometimes but not always. Remember that please. You are one of my dearest friends and I'm sorry I lash at you back in front of everyone. But you made it feel like it was my fault and the way you talked to me like I'm the one who is suppose to be blame.

faham?

And to the other girl, I know no one from your school except you. Who the hell reads my blog anyway except for my followers and my closest friends? Tell me who reads my blog straight to my face and bring him/her in front of me. Then if the girl/guy said that it is true that the girl/guy reads my blog. Then, this blog is going to be private. If your lucky, I'll add you to read my blog. And why did you tell others that it was my fault. If I did anything wrong to you. Tell me first.

You are one of my very very very dearest friends. I love you to bits. You have been nice to me through thick and thin. But if you have major big motion problems with me, tell me right straight to my face and I try to change. That's how friendship works.

I'm sorry, if I accidentally wrote something private about you in this blog. Because I do not know people from your school would read this lame thing.

until then,

if you were me you'd be miserable.

2009-06-17T08:10:00.000-07:00

My first paper that I ever failed was Agama when I was in form 1. Through out the whole of form 1, I fail my Agama. But that change when I was in form 2 and 3, those 2 years of my life I have never failed anything. Getting a D yes. But not an E.

And now I'm in form 4. A whole new format and a whole new subjects. 5 G9 and 1C so far.

How's that for being me?

until then,

how things change.

2009-06-16T08:36:00.000-07:00

When I was in form 1,2 and 3 my friends use to ask me "How many A's did you get?"

Now: "Dah berapa fail?"

the world is coming to an end,

until then,

Oh, god NO!

2009-06-16T05:27:00.000-07:00

I have a Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
As I was searching for a topic for the Star Inc Magazine competition, I found out about this site that makes you take a quiz to show if you have a personality disorder. I got 90% for being narcissistic. Narcissistic is a personality that describe a person who is in love with themselves ALOT. Pendek kata PERASAN! or even VAIN.
These are the symptoms of a person who has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder:-

I need help!

Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
Requires excessive admiration
Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.

Do you think those symptoms are ME? My mum said its true and even Atiq said so.

until then,

P/s Please comment if you think that I have a narcissistic personality disorder. I need to know!

"I'm going to be very happy today"

2009-06-15T06:08:00.000-07:00

I wake up in the morning, hesitating every step of me going to the toilet and have a bath. I want to stay in bed waking up at 1pm and then have lunch for breakfast and tea for lunch. But life is somewhat unfair and so I have to go to school and face the music which is the melody of failure when I get my mid term results.

As I was staring at myself in the mirror, I kept repeating these lines in my head while I brush my teeth and wash my face and even when I took my bath "Nick, you are going to be very happy today". Because my mom always said that your mind controls everything that you do, and she even said that if you tell your mind something and automatically your body will follow what the brain has been told to do. So, I tried commanding my brain to tell myself that I will be very happy today. Will I?

The morning assembly that I hate the most, all I hear is BLA BLA BLA when I just want to hear BLA. Then the discipline teacher said "Pengawas, sila pastikan bahawa pelajar memotong rambut dan memakai lencana, tali leher dan sebagainya pada hari esok" I was like shit! I do not want to cut my hair. Why should I anyway right?

An hour after the assembly, first period starts-- SCIENCE! Science in form 4 is kind of hard but to think of it, it's not very hard compared to the science students who is taking chemistry and physics. So, I am very lucky to be taking science besides Physics and Chemistry. But since this is my first time taking an actual SPM format paper which was very different from the PMR paper, I would be expecting a G9 or an E8. But instead, I recieved a C6
I'm not that happy but I feel ok.

Second period--Economics, my paper one was ok which was 20/40 but my teacher said everyone screwed paper 2. Guess what? I failed :( Yes, I failed my economics, the subject that I studied the most, the subject that was supposedly to be very very easy to score which I thought I would score but apparently, I recieved a G9 for my economics. But, I am looking at the brightside of all of this because my teacher said it is not confirmed yet that those results are true because it could be more when Pn. Salwani checked the paper and it also could be less. Lets pray hard that I will not fail Economics, because it is just simply impossible. just IMPOSSIBLE!

After reccess--Bahasa Malaysia, which I know I screwed and I know that I will not fail and maybe get a C. But we only get the marks of our paper 2. Which I really really screwed and I got 32/110. But maybe paper 1 could save my ass. I choked everytime I think about the results. Tomorrow is doomsday, Additional Mathematics and History. Maybe I could score my Agama which I always score :) Wait Nick, don't be too confident. I'm not even confident for getting an A for english. Its so URGH!

After Bahasa Malaysia, we were suppose to go to the hall because there is this Career Talk thingy that we are suppose to listen to for an hour. Which was very boring and yet very helpful at the same time. I am still not sure what I am going to do after my SPM but I am sure it is about business and designing.

English was ok. We did not get our papers yet, but we played this countable noun and uncountable nouns shit that to me is like a 4 year old game and obviously everyone WON! -.-"

I went back home around 2.30 and bath. I told my mom about my results and she was dissapointed obviously. I had lunch and slept until maghrib.

THE MIND CONTROLS THE BODY THINGY IS SO NOT TRUE, I FEEL SAD NOW. I THINK THAT LUCK CONTROLS THE BODY AND MIND. dont you agree?

until then,

Its over !

2009-06-14T08:15:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is a schooling day :/ Results, here I come to received my punishments for being lazy and a fucktard procrastinator. I hope I can do well and received good and an okok results.

Thanks to my friends for making my holiday fun :) I appreciate it.

This year June's Holiday was ok. Went to 3 parties, went shopping, movies, sunway lagoon, sneaking out and drive around town :)

I can't wait for the next holidays :)

I have to go to bed now, ttyl

until then

2 days before school starts,

2009-06-12T13:29:00.000-07:00

Today, what did I do today? haha. I did a WHOLE lot of things today!

I woke up at 12.30pm and then I took a bath to get ready for friday prayers, after the friday prayers, Siti came to my house because we were suppose to go to KLCC to meet with my dearest cousins, Aqeel and Fathin. Arrived KLCC we went to KFC for lunch, after having lunch, we walked around KLCC for a while because Fathin wanted to buy some make up.

Around 6, we went to my uncle house because Aqeel left his bags there and he wanted to follow me go home because we planned to go to Sunway lagoon the next morning. After that, we went back home. Arrived home around 9.30. We quickly dressed up to go to SNEAK OUT party.

Arrived at Sneak Out party, Siti and I dance to my and her favorite songs. Mine is obviously the PCD's and hers is the PITBULL song, -.-"
But hye, she redeemed herself honey. We had fun. I rate the party 5/10 :) One marks more then spade. I hope the Sneak Out party 2 will be 10/10.

We went back home around 1am. I was very very tired and sleepy but Aqeel wanted more, so since my friends is going to AC, I thought I could follow them but their car is full so I was relief for a moment and I thought I could rest in peace. But then, Aqeel was hungry -.-" we thought of WALKING to the nearest mamak stall. But then, I had an idea-- Why don't we just sneak out using my mum's car?! haha.

We were nervous obviously but we made it through. After the mamak, I let Aqeel drive the car and he did. I was terrified! While he was driving my mum called:

"dekat mana ni?"
I was like "oh, erm dekat pelita dgn my friend,"
and she was like "it's 3am, balik now"

I was like "okok."

I went back home, my mom did not notice that I brought the car around town :)
wheew!

haha, I had fun today. KLCC, SNEAK OUT PARTY and SNUCK OUT :)

until then,

hush hush!

2009-06-11T02:12:00.000-07:00

The holiday is nearly coming to an end. How time flies so fast, and how I don't miss school. Mid term results is coming soon! I know that I did badly and I think I would fail 4 papers, how sad is that? And to add more sadness in the sad situation, my mom will be facing my results soon at open day! I bet I'm going to get grounded.

I can't stop thinking about the results and I hope that it won't be as bad as I thought it would be :/

Anyway,
June holidays is ok. Not that FUN! But ok. I can't wait until the August and September holidays and of course my favorite holidays of all! The end of the year holidays! I just can't stop talking about holidays because I love the holidays!

hmph, I'm done.

until then,

This second

2009-06-10T13:45:00.000-07:00

At this point of my life I just want:-

TO TELL SOMEONE I LOVE HER and i mean it

I miss those days where theres late phone calls at night and all the wrongs suddenly feels right. And why now I'm not making even an inch move?

I confused myself sometimes.

until then,

shh! shut up!

2009-06-10T13:33:00.000-07:00

That stupid pitbull "I KNOW YOU WANT ME" song is stuck in my head and its annoying. Stop bitch! STOP!

3 minutes later..

I search on youtube for the Hanging By A Moment song by lifhouse. GOSH! This song saved my head from singing that I know you want me song.

What to do tomorrow? Oh yeah, hanging out at Anne's house to planned her sweet sixteen. Tomorrow is the Guest List meeting baby. Be nervous :) On Friday, I'm meeting my dearest cousins at KLCC and one of them is going to follow me back home because HE wants to go to Sunway Lagoon :/ As a good cousin I am, I'm bringing him to Sunway Lagoon for the 100th of time since last year!

until then,

hanging

2009-06-10T07:18:00.000-07:00

I'm falling even more in love with you and I'm letting go of all I've held on to.

currently listening to: hanging by a moment by lifehouse

After lunch at home eating Ikan Sambal Terutuk cooked by my dearest momma which was delicious btw, and after that I took a bath because Atiq and I was going to meet Anne, Fitrah and Yasmin at Fitrah's crib.

Arrived there, we waited for Anne. While waiting, your dearest Nico Adam took a lot of pictures using Fitrah's DSLR. 15 minutes after Anne arrived, we walk to OTWC-- I know, school holidays and OTWC? Well, thats because we're broke to go to somewhere fun. At OTWC, I ordered my usual, which was the Nan Yang memorably/cold :) My friends don't like it but I love it.

We hanged around OTWC for an hour, after that we went to the gameshop because since the PS2 is in my house, I only played with it for about 3 to 5 times and thats because all my games are lame. So, I went to the gameshop and bought sims URBZ.

After I bought my game, we went to the KGSAAS club for a swim. It was fun though! We tried stupid cheerleading moves on the and under water. haha, funny I know. After swimming, we planned Anne's sweet sixteen which I'm the host and invitations only--hope your getting in!

hmph, and after that, I went home and played my game until I'm bored and then I ate dinner and then I played my guitar then go online :)

WHAT AN INTERESTING LIFE!!

until then,

pictures from today's activities

2009-06-09T08:54:00.000-07:00

theres more, but malas nk upload check more at my myspace account :), there is something on my mind that makes me kinda pissed off.

note to YOURSELF: I don't usually listen to sad stories, but to some people I make an exception. Please don't be a bitch and tell me all your fake resolutions that you BERANGAN to do and lied to me and tell me those things which I'm suppose to know first but I knew it last. Hmph. apa apa ah, malas nak gadoh.

until then :)

sway my way.

2009-06-09T08:30:00.001-07:00

PICTURES FOR TODAYS ACTIVITIES WILL BE UPLOADED SOON!

The last time I actually went out with my friends was last Tuesday and that was the lame SPADE party. I know its very sad.

Well, it has been a whole month since I last went to SUNWAY because I was saving for BFF shopping day last month. And today, was the big day! :)

YES! I went to sunway pyramid, GOSH! I miss the chinese food smell, ice skating rink, the small theater and the other lame teens that were hanging out there. I arrived there at about 1 and went straight to the movies to checked out the tickets. GOSH! One month of not going to SUNWAY is equal to ONE FREAKING YEAR. There is this new coffee bean spot there in front of the escalator which use to be an ice cream place. And there was this new shop called LANCE or something smilar to that effect which was having a 70% discount for a skinny jeans. But since Anne and I were rushing, so we did not stop by at that shop.

We want to watch 17 AGAIN but it was full, and HANNAH MONTANA was also full so what is left is FIGHTING -.-" Channing Tatum from step up played the main actor for that movie. He really looks like he was from the slumps doesn't he?

While waiting for the movie, we went for lunch at this place called gasoline. The food there is not bad and plus its cheap. After that, I met up with Yasmin and Fitrah. We spill some dirt about spade lah and some other useless bitches. And after that, we went to the movies and that was about 2.45. Anne and I thought that our movie start about 2.45 but actually it had started at 2.10pm!

After movies, the girls and I went to starbucks and talk about the stuff that has been happening lately. And at 5.15 we went home.

Arrived home, Yasmin and I hang around at Fitrah's snow white look a like house and took vain pictures which I look very very hot btw :) and then Anne came, we brought them to the haunted house which looks very very nice! But we found NO ghost. And we continued being vain :)

At 7.00pm, I went back home. Dearest mother picked me up at the gate :) Tomorrow I;m going swimming :))

until then,

1 week more,

2009-06-05T05:33:00.000-07:00

shit! I hope they extend the holidays. 2 weeks is definitely not enough, I'm not missing school at all. I'm having fun sleeping and relaxing at home but my mind feels like crying--wait, I mean I feel like crying thinking about my soon to be results. I know that I will do badly. hmph.

Today, Sya and Siti came to Permata, we only talked about SPADE, so N there's nothing about you and I think S misses you. Please don't take this personally because I did not ask you to come to hang out with us. You know I love you :) ok N? BTW, obviously you know that I'm jealous because you have perfect teeth now bitch! hmph,

Besides that,
Today my mom and I went to Carrefour to buy some apples and other things. OK, I know your thinking "Shah Alam ada tesco, giant and even tesco extra." But, unfortunately my mom has no free vouchers for those supermarket. So, that is why we went to carrefour because I think my mum has 100 ringgit voucher there or something similar to that effect.

AND HERE IS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY!

hehe, its' funny actually because my mom thought me how to drive! A MANUAL car! Obviously she was a bit GUBRA but then when I get the hang of it she said that I'm good. Tomorrow is another lesson :) I can't wait!

tomorrow is another day,

until then,

I will always be there : )

2009-06-04T11:28:00.000-07:00

Its been 2 days, I'm stuck in my household! I'm short of money to go out, I only go out to light up. Tomorrow, I will be accompanying my mum to the market and after that I have a date with siti and sya at burger king :) I miss Sya :)

Oh, Anis and Siti is being very upset because of their own personal problems. So as a good BFF, I'm gonna chill them up. Unfortunately Anis is in JB, and I'm not sure if I could go there and meet her. Siti, well I'm gonna meet her tomorrow :)

I will always be there for you bitches :)

until then, ILYM!

serve you right,

2009-06-02T09:53:00.000-07:00

I don't think that its cool to ever to take drugs, its stupid. Try MAYBE but showing it off no. Look what you have done, HAVOC right? And if its you that was hurt then thats fine, but you brought other people as well and harmless people was hurt by your stupid mistake. Most of all, you promised me that you were not going to do it, but why do it? You make me worry a hell out of you man. You promise me so many times that you were not going to do it ok! I'm not mad but I'm disappointed in you! it serves you right that you were not having the time of your life and it serve you right that you feel bad right now!

until then,

your on to me

2009-06-01T11:16:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is SPADE baby :) I wanna dance my ass off down to the floor, You want more? Then I give you more :)

Anyway,
I'm wearing a simple simple outfit tomorrow, But simple is always the best, and I'm bein messy :)

dah la aku ngantuk ni.

until then,

tired

2009-06-01T11:10:00.000-07:00

Today is THE day! THE bff shopping day! I walk like hell, I found leather pants but it was not my size! Shit right?

I post abt that tomorrow, and about spade 2 too alright? :)

until then,

Supreme Sunday

2009-05-30T23:50:00.000-07:00

today I woke up at 8am and thought to myself "ok nick, today do some Add maths and then accounts and gosok baju and kemas bag" and then I went to the toilet and brush my teeth after that I bathe, while bathing I thought "Eh, add maths dah lepas, belajar accounts and Sejarah la" and then I walk out of the shower and went to the dryer and pick a boxer and my brothers size L led zeppelin T shirt that he just bought. hee. Anyway, I wore those things and took my accounts book and actually studied! One hour later-- I went to the refrigerator for a milo, and there it was the Exam Timetable.

and I thought, "eh, today is the 31st! OMGOMGOMG!! Exam dah habis and now is the holidayss!"

I closed my accounts book and went back to sleep :)

until then,

and I go,

2009-05-30T06:04:00.000-07:00

HUSH now, don't shake or break

currently listening to I go by Aizat :)

Anyway, sorry about my last post because I was in a rush. OK, yesterday I was suppose to blog about the teachers day and of course my performance. But I was too lazy and so Atiq and I went to the park and light up. Only me la not Atiq.

It has come to leasure us,

2009-05-29T23:46:00.000-07:00

The HOLIDAYS baby, its the HOLIDAYS!

Finally, the day we have all been waiting for. I can't wait until its Monday and then its BFF shopping day! After Monday is Tuesday and then its Spade baby. And after that--well, let it be spontaneous :)

Yesterday was teachers day and I performed. Oh, I rocked harder than those people who said that I can't rock. I get the most flowers, you?

Anyway, I need to have my lunch now, ttym!

until then

jealousy is a such a mean ol thang

2009-05-28T01:22:00.000-07:00

I just can't work under pressure it brings me down to the core. I hate it when people gets jealous because its annoying, Jealousy is just something that intimidates you and it shows that your lack of confidence. Please don't tell me things you know I do not want to hear and please make sure if you want to tell me things, BE SURE that you give the RIGHT and FULL information. Or else don't talk or speak at all. And please don;t try to bring me down because now I realize that it hurts and I'm not that strong emotionally. Two people just bring me down on the 28th of May 2009 and it hurts emotionally and mentally. Don;t do that to me, PLEASE. :/ I may seem strong and confident but now I realize that I'm actually weak. So, please don;t harm a harmless creature like me ok?

jailhouse birthday,

2009-05-27T08:36:00.000-07:00

Maxis Broadband is so fucked up at night, urgh. I'm currently listening to Birthday by Leighton Meester and Jailhouse baby by Paris Hilton. Leighton Meester's single is kinda catchy--its the kind of music that would be one of my favorite dance song. Jailhouse baby is my current favourite gedik song. Anyway, I listen to all kinds of music from rock to hip hop to RnB to pop to screamo to emo to everything. As long as it makes my head bangs or shake my bootie. :)

OMG Leighton Meester's(Blair Woldorf) new song is so effin my kinda of music man, its so Pop Rock. It's soo ME! hehe.

I suggest you listen to it on my myspace profile :) Listen, dance and sing!

until then

i don;t wanna lose it,

2009-05-27T05:34:00.000-07:00

I failed Mathematics -.-" yes. And I will flunk my History, Science, Add Maths and Accounts :( Shit head la sial! Mathematics paper 2 is easy but I did not study for the gradient and straight line plus I did not payed any attention in class while the teacher is teaching that chapter oh wait, I did not studied for mathematics -.-" I keep telling myself that its okay because this is form 4 and I did DID not take this papers seriously, I mean I know that form 4 is important, we have been told since we were form 1 that form 4 is not a honeymoon year and I know that its not, that is why I sometimes concentrate more in class than I did last year. Well I only changed 5% about my studying attitude since last year I think. I'm not THAT dissapointed because I know I did not studied and it serves me right. OK, after the midhols, there could only be LIMITED internet access and I HAVE to pay more attention in class.

OK, lets not think about that,

I'm going to sing WOMANIZER for teachers day. Pn Salwani said that my performance was sexy, -.-" I think its because of my GEDIK voice while singing that song. haha. Well, I want everyone to sing along while I'm singing womanizer okay? You people HAVE to sing along because other kids would sing all those boring songs. Hazami and what not. My performance is going to be fun and sexy, sexy and fun. Alright? good :) But, it won't be SEXY and FUN without your help. So sing along oh and give me flowers :)

Besides that,

BFF shopping day is near, spade and some other things. You know what, I'm not that excited anymore because Maths results just spoils my day. But hay, I'll get strong soon. Oh and today there were only 9 people in my class. -.-" Sad right? School seems kinda empty just now, not much laughter but I did make everyone laugh. haha.

oh I'm done :)

until then

3 weeks of killing trees is over,

2009-05-26T04:26:00.000-07:00

Oh freedom is finally mine baby, no more papers and the trees are save for awhile. Mid term was mid fucking hard okeyy. Its so hard that my brain was practically beating. But let bygones be bygones. Lets talk abt the present and the future and that is-- THE HOLIDAYS BABY.

the present:

1) Have to practice the WOMANIZER song for hari guru, cool en?
2) Have to collect money from the family for shopping day,
3) Have to confirm with my friends if they're going to spade.
4) Need to ask the teacher if I could drop accounts and replace it with commerce.
5) Let the teachers day be boring and it would be fun when I sing WOMANIZER :0

the future:

1) BFF shopping day! Must have--leather pants, short pants and some random shirts and t-shirts
2) SPADE party baby, have to make new friends and meet the old ones and catch up with my acquaintances. Oh, Nikki and Yasmin and Whoever will be there--lets dance our ASS off :)
3) If I have the money, then go genting lah.
4) JB baby, hang out with Nabilah and Anne. Bring them around town-- JB would be fun!
5) Fathin and Aqeel is coming to KL. soo, nak buat apa?

and then--school starts, results keluar and open day. I die. The end

until then,

no doubt is back baby,

2009-05-25T09:04:00.000-07:00

My favorite all time band is back baby, I know almost all of their songs! I love no doubt, too bad for me that this is their last time together and then gwen is retired I guess. My favorite song is Its my life-- gosh! Thats THE best no doubt song ever right? Don't you agree? I'm sure that you guys, loves Don't Speak right? Who cares, I love that song too! Gosh! I hope that they're coming to Malaysia soon baby :) I love their fashion and of course their fantastic music kan?

anyway, My bro just bought a new flat screen TV :) need to help him figuring it out on how to use the TV :)

until then,

2 more papers baby,

2009-05-25T02:44:00.000-07:00

Wow, I love this fashion blog-- www.jakandjil.com
its so fashionably fashionable, like me :)

anywho, Accounts was effin hard okay, and I only answered 2 questions and I'm not even sure that the 2 questions that I answered would be all correct. I've been thinking to drop accounts and add commerce and tassawur islam. boleh la tu, accnts mcm babi. I hate it :/

anyway,
BFF shopping day nak dekat honeeyyy. I hope that theres leather pants and short pants :) Its been a while since my last shopping day, and I hope that it will be as cheap as it is in JB. Please oh dearest god !

Anyway, theres only 2 more papers left and after that I can rest my mind in peace. I can type much more slower, I hate typing fast because my mom said its time to study. I hate rushing. Lets take it to the chill bill and take a chill pill :)

until then,

p/s freedom is mine tomorrow :) ilysm!

5 more papers left and then I'm done :)

2009-05-24T07:34:00.000-07:00

1 week more to go until BFF shopping day, apparently my BFF shopped before I did, So I think she is short on money and I bet she will not come to the BFF shopping day and I can shop alone wondering why I'm so stupid because I did not spend my money at the JUNKSALE in JB, where as my BFF found what she is looking for and I did found what I'm looking for,only I thought that if I spend my money then, it would be unfair because I thought that she already saved some money for the big day, but hell naw she aint not effin care. She spend it -.-" not all but only 30 bucks, but the leather pants that I wanted to buy in JB also cost 30 bucks. In KL it would be double the price there :( Let me suffer in my stupidity alone,

anyway, after shopping. I would pray that I will not fail this mid term. please oh dearest god please no failing.

dah la nk study accnts ni, bye :)

Happy 1st birthday oh dearest BLOG!

2009-05-23T11:41:00.000-07:00

Its been a year since this blog was made, I made this blog because I was inspired by gossip girl -.-" notice how my post is somehow a wannabe post like gossip girl? Yes, I'm sure some of you gossip girl followers notice but who the hell cares, sometimes I just be ME in this blog. Being ME is what I do best, I post EVERYDAY but it does not seem everyday in public because there are some posts in my account that needs to be private. The post where I trash all of you, the post where I let out all of my feelings, the post where I rated the people in my school is all privated to protect myself. hehe.

Anyway, I'm in love with this blog and will never made a new one. This blog has been stalked by an anonymous fella TWICE, it has been changing its URL a couple of times from nickstories to nicklagenda to diaryviolated, it has change its title from stories by nick to nico by nick to nick lagenda to amnesia by nick lagenda, it has been the TALK about the people around me because of the kissing picture, it also has been a TALK to my family because one of my aunt spotted my blog and reads it so I change my URL because I'm embarrass. It also has kept my secrets and failed to told anyone because my blog is the one that I trust the most in life besides my family and closest friends.

I LOVE YOU OH DEAREST BLOG! I will write in this blog until I die, Happy Birthday To You and lets just hope you will produce more great stories and gossip from me and secrets too! And stay away from hackers :)

until then,