Its Already Raya!

The day that I have been waiting for since the month of June :) Its RAYA! I never thought that this feeling that I'm feeling right now could happen. This feeling is kinda strange for me to feel during Raya. I feel, sad. Ramadhan is ending, and this ramadhan to me is the hardest because I actually completed fasting the whole month since 3 years. Yes, since the last 3 years I have not been fasting a full month. Maybe twice a week. But this year, its different. Its like god is trying to guide me to the right path. I;m thankful. Yes, I will try to be a better person. I will try to avoid the things that I use to do before. I'm sad because this could be my last ramadhan if god forbids. I'm sad because I miss my dad. At times like this, when my family gets together eating and preparing for raya is when I miss him the most. He would be the one so happy preparing for raya, he would help clean up the house in JB because its a tradition in my JB house to have an open house on the 1st day of raya. But since now we're in Shah Alam, things change and yes I've learn to accept it but I do miss the old times. I miss my dad so much, maybe during ramadhan his presence was near me and I often dreamt and think about him during ramadhan and now since its the end, I think that he's gone. Maybe its just my imagination. But yeah I could feel him.

I'm sorry if I did not pray 5 times a day for you dad. Maybe this is why I;m sad, because he is sad. Because I did not pray enough for him. I feel guilty.

But oh well, he is still in my memories and my heart. Life goes on.

Enough emotional stories. Now lets be HAPPY!
Super mom cooked Laksa Johor, Rendang Ayam and Sambal goreng pengantin today! It was effin nice! I love it! I just finish cleaning up the kitchen. And now, I'm blogging.

I hope this year's raya would be FUN! And of course those angpows! I hope I could at least get 500 :)

until then,