My tumblr is too public and I want to type something here that is totally private. And I'm about to type my feelings here for the last time. Or else, I couldn't find PEACE in myself.
Its been months now and I still can't stop thinking about you. You know, its a waste of my fucking time to let me think about you? You kept saying that there was someone else on your motherfuckin mind and its not me! How do you think that would make me feel?
I'm done trying to make this right. I'm done being positive in this situation. I'm SO done beating on your motherfucking wall hoping to transform it into a door. Why would I want to waste my time on you? When maybe your mind is not even 1% thinking about me.
No, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself. I feel so humiliated, embarrass, stupid, stupid and yes stupid again for acting so STUPID in front of you. I think I should stop. I should stop being all that to you. I wanna move on. I wanna let go.
At the same time, I need you and want you in my life! :(
I feel stupid and embarrass. I will not treat you the same anymore. You are poisonous. One look in you eyes, one word you say to me, I'll melt.
Lesson learn. I should move on. Should've known you were not serious.
OHMYGOD! I miss you blogspot!