changes.

Here is some advice to my juniors who is just stepping in to the High School World. Or as I like to call it. The BATTLEFIELD.. Yes, it is a battlefield for you at first. But after 2 years of tragedy,drama's, puberty and regrets. You find that school is some place that you go early morning and listen to these human who always babbles in front of us which we call teachers and all the drama's from last years doesn't matter anymore. Because all you think about after that 2 years is about your studies. Or some of you just figured that you hate studies. You might spend the whole year cutting class and hanging around near apartments and malls(well some people doesn't grow up).
Friends? Which I call the armies will CHANGE after 2 years. The girl you see being the QUEEN BEE would be alone the next year. The guy you see who is pretty much you call UGLY would be one of your heartthrobs in school. The girl who you might think that she's too ugly. Just might turn into a beautiful swan the next. So, it changes. And what I notice is that, the 1st 2 years of high school with your best best best friends will definitely change. Because you know, at the 3rd year of high school. You, might lose some of your bestfriends. So take good care of them well, because you know you need them.. Even if its imaginary..

until then,

out from under

Let me get you off my mind. Wait, I can't!

broke (I'm a shopaholic)

Maybe my mum should only leave me for about 2oo for 44 days, but instead she gave 400 for 44 days ! yeah, and now I'm left with 45 ringgit. It's not as easy as it seems, I'm sure some of you may say "pegy la dekat kakak kau" or "ala, your sister kan dah kerja". FYI people, my sister's does not work for me. They work for themselves and for my family.. NOT FOR ME.. Not only that, but in case you haven;t notice, I have my social life to attend to. But you cannot get a DOLLAR drink at a party can you? You can't even get a RM5 movie for god sake ! Thank god I'm going to JB next week. I hope I could get enough money to last me until 17th december. This is sooooo irresponsible of me. I spent my money on clothes, movies, pizza, drinks and parties?! urgh!!!! I am such a son of a big fat BITCH! damn it!! please people, don't ask me out anymore.. I can't take this.. OH MY GOD! I need to buy the ticket for that spade party! shit! its 30 bucks.. But that spade party is on the 10th.. and I be back here from JB on the 8th.. I hope and I really really hope that I get DUIT RAYA HAJI from my relatives :( so, toodles!

until then,

when i get my 8A's,

I'm not being over confident. and yet I am not confident at all, and yet I still think that I can have 8As..wait! can i?

So here's the plan:

The day before the results, I will make it like an ordinary day. Maybe not. At that time my nails maybe has already been gone, my bones will feel very light and my feet will be stuck under the blanket. And I would be hoping that I'd get my 8A's.. So, by that time I will be lying down at my bed listening to the move along song while I shout under my pillow "why do I have to feel like this?!!" I hate feeling nervous actually, but.. You gotta face the music.. After shouting and realize that I can't sit still. I would be going on the computer and sign in for my myspace, facebook, blogspot and my IM's after that I would go to google.com and type "how to kill yourself". :) after a long day of the internet. I would call my friends and ask them how they feel.. Not that I care that much.. But I will.. And then, I will go to the kitchen and I will eat everything thats in it and hoping that life would be easy.. After eating, I would go to the toilet and puke myself out.. Because if I don't, I would be fat like them.. Which I will not be.. haha, and then I brush my teeth and go to bed..

In the morning, obviously my tears has already been dried out.. And then I go to the toilet, shit myself out, brush my teeth again and then I have a bath.. Obviously at that time my aunties will sms-ed me "dah amek results? berapa dapat?". So I guess, I should turned off my phone.. So, I would wear those funeral clothes. Black and sad.. And now, I'm heading to school..

We would sit at the hall, and I bet I would see some of my friends praying, some of them just don't care and some of them would cry.. While I sit there with my shades hoping that I will get that 8A's and obviously I would say to myself "kenapa la kau tak study? kenapa la kau malas?" And suddenly its time..

The principal would say "nama nama yang mendapat 8A saya ucapkan tahniah. Dan nama nama itu adalah,"

bla bla bla bla.. And suddenly Raja Mohammed Naqiuddin Shahmi Bin Raja Adam..

At that time, I feel like I could fly.. I wanna shout, I wanna scream, I wanna hugged those beside me.. But I won't.. I would just smile, stay calm, thanked allah soo much for the miracle and then take my results, go to the car.. Show my mum and my brother.. And then I'm sure they would be soo happy for mee.. duh! and then call my sister's and tell them everything. After that I would sms-ed my uncle/friends/aunties and cousin mumble about the happy news! And if my mum asked me what do I want for my 8As present.. I would say NOTHING.. 8As is already the best present ever.. and no one can beat that.. right?

p/s this story is just a BERANGAN thing that I do.. ahha.. But I know, it will come true :)

sunset.

when the sun sets. That is when my tears come out.

its not the same,but yet it remains the same

have you ever felt like things has change? Seasons have change and so have me. But sometimes as far as the surroundings have change, something does really stays the same:

1. A friend who has a brother that will never understands. And it has been going on since he was born.
   
2. A girl and her boyfriend who stayed in the same city kept a long distance relationship and now the girl has move to another state and it is now, a forever long distance relationship.
3. A guy who never confesses his feelings to his own best friend about how he really feels about her.
4. A girl who kept waiting for the perfect guy since the day she was born remains the same.But the perfect guy that she was looking for could be in front of her eyes only she's too busy searching and did not see.
   
5. A guy who has been waiting for so long to tell her that she loves her and just to find out she does not love him.And the girl is stuck between two guys.
   
6. A girl who has never forgotten about his boyfriend even though they have broken up for about a year now.

Yeah somehow, the ice never gets thinner even if we put fires on it. Those six stories remains the same since last year. Those six stories and each of them represents my friend, guess which stories belongs to who..

until then,

today,

I spend my times with c, today! Have a lot of things to share with her though just now, she stayed at my house from 4pm until 12 am! yeah,! we have so much to share. But so little time for me to confess. hmph,
Maybe next time right C?

I'm so deeply in LOVE

I'm in love, with you so badly! It's chronic!:

with everything i won't let you go!

I have been hearing to stressful songs through out the day!

I even shed a tear for her! WTH?! The last thing that I need right now is falling in love and cry over someone and that I am scared to tell her that I love her. It is a school holiday for crying out loud! Let's have some fun!! But, my smile is just a mask for me to wear in public. I do not know when will I have the courage to tell her the truth!

Sejak bila aku EMO sial?!

The last thing my friends would expect from me is seeing me cry and get emotional! Puh-lease! Nick don't do with FALLING IN LOVE shit! Well that's what I thought!! argh!! If only she could read minds! Imagine that right?

until then :(

canceled!

the movie night was canceled!

I bet its because Anne can't go..

stumble and fall.

I woke up at 1.00 pm this morning. Haiih, Holidays is fun and somehow. ITS TIRED! Parties, shopping malls, girls, movies and dramas! Yesterday, Najjy, Atiq and I went to curve and ikea. We went to Ikea because I was bugging them to have meatballs there. And so we did have meatballs there. hahah. It was Atiq's first try, and he was hypnotized by the delicious-ness of the meatballs! yummy right? haha, After that, we went to cineleisure and booked 3 tickets and watch madagascar 2. We booked the ticket at 3.oopm. And it was only 1.00pm then, so we went to the nearby arcade and played with the PHOTO BOOTH! haha, apparently it was Atiq's first time in the photo booth! Yeah, and I paid for the photo booth and it was 36 ringgit total! It was ok, since Najjy and Atiq was my bestfriend! Anything to make them happy!! haha, After that we walked around and window shop through out curve. And atiq was being an annoying virus, he was like "okok movie dah nak dekat start!! Jom ar!! Cepat! nanti tak sempat!!" and it was only 2.30 at that time -.-" doesn't he know that CINELEISURE is just in front of curve?! Plus, at that time we were in front of cineleisure and I just said "Atiq ni annoying lah!!!" and he got mad and said "sape annoying sekarang ni?!!" and I was like "you!" and he pushed me! hahah, yeah! the Army just pushed the General! ahah, I punch his back and he kept quiet! No one mess with me right Atiq? ahah! And he did not talk to me until we got home.. I did not mind but somehow I was irritated with him because he did not even say thank you about the stickers thing,he broke my mp3 1 week ago(that mp3 can't be used! anymore!). He hurt my feelings because when I wanted to borrow his phone, he said "alla sekejap je la.. I takut you damaged it!" And suddenly I'm the bad guy?! So yesterday, I bullied him ALOT! Until his face was red with anger! ahah! But wtev! He will come through it somehow!

And today, I sit at home doing nothing and planned to have a movie night with anne and friends! And anne asked atiq if he wants to come. Atiq said NO! Obviously, he did not want to go because I am going. -.-" Merajuk mcm perempuan sial!! ouh waiitt.. Atiq called!! brb,

ahahaha! He marah me because he said that I bully him alot and he has the right to merajuk -.-"
pfft! haaahahaha, and he called the 2nd time and talked to me this time like a saint man! Apparently, he can't go to Anne's house because it was at night! And I thought, since there were no one at my house.. Why don't we just have a movie night here?! smart right? I know!

why so blind?

I have been so deeply in love with you but somehow you were too blind to see that right? yeah, somehow you are! Why so dumb? I am lost of words to speak right now. I can't take this anymore! But, whenever I try to make my move.. Somethings happen, and when THINGS happen to you. It last forever, and I am the one who is suppose to wait. Not for an hour, but now I am in love with you for over a year. And you don't know that! Look, who am I kidding?! I may never be with you right? Who am I? I am just a friendship hug. And thats it! there is a full stop right there! I am just a friendship HUG! Nothing more. So, should I move on? or should I wait and be stupid? But if I move on, I would be flirting and being in love with the wrong person. And if I stay and wait, there is this part of me that says it might ruined our friendship. What now? please readers, you don't have to answer.. Because its not worth it.. I tried everything! But nothing will never ever gonna change.. Only if she knows that I love her because of what she is and not what she looks like.. I think that would change everything..But, it might ruined everything too.. So,I am totally stuck on you!

flynniversary!

the party was fun!! haha, Thanks ANNE,MARYAM and NABILAH for the great times!!

ME time

yeah, I went to JB for 5 days. For the first 2 days, I stayed at my Uncle's house. It was warm and fun to be with them. I played with my niece and I had fun with her. I went to Jusco Tebrau with my eldest cousin and bought some TOPMAN shirts.. Yeah lame! But it was fun! The food was awesome at my uncle's house! Traditional malay dish! yummayh!!

For the last 3 days there, I went to my cousin's house. It was also very very fun there. I hang out with my cousin Aqeel and Fathin until it was like 3am in the morning! haha, Aqeel and I made plans to go for a jog tomorrow morning. BUT plans are only plans and with my cousin Aqeel? Plans do not turn out how they are planned. So, we slept until it was 12pm! haha, After that, my aunt sent us to the city.

At the city, I was planning to see my friends at City Square but like I always said "friends can wait and I am always fashionably late!" haha, ok. So we went to KOTARAYA food court! The nasi ayam was fucking nice man!! haha, I did some shopping there! Kota Raya was an old place. So the shops there are old and had become BUNDLE! So, the SHIRTS is very very cheap. And they sell band SHIRTS as well.. From the beatles, to the strokes and even the rolling stone! And each shirt only cost RM15!! gila en? but obviously there were no size zero there. So I only bought a pair of slim red jeans.. I don't even know where to wear that thing..

After some KOTA RAYA shopping, we went to City Square and meet my friends. Cash and Fika(lovers at la la land)! haha. And then, we went straight to go and watch THE COFFIN! It was damn LAME!! But there were some suspend moments! haha.. After the movie, I bought some bubble tea there. I had to try it since I've heard so much about it! It was kinda GOOD.. and somehow refreshing! hahaha..

After that, we left cash and fika ALONE and let them date! I went round and round window shopping through city square with my cousins.. hahah

For about half an hour after that, Cash called and said Fika had to go home because her mom asked her to. So, I went and see cash and go back to kotaraya again because cash wanted to buy a band shirt.. And my cousins and I wanted to go to fish spa!! Johor's fish spa is really cheap!! 20 ringgit for 30 minutes! haha!! And fish spa works!! After that, my body feels fresh! hahah, And cash bought THE STROKES shirt. Gila lawa ok! hahaa..

After kota raya, we went around town searching for a place to have dinner.. And then, we went to this shop/cafe/boutique call ROOST! Which I only been once and that place is fucking awesome!! The theme of the place is RETRO 60s and 80s!! I soo need to bring my KL friends there! haha!! The food and drinks were awesome too!! Plus, the boutique sells some retro and vintage stuffs! It is very rare to find it here in KL! But it was expensive of course!! haha..

After ROOST, we went to a bundle near Danga Bay. I bought some really nice INDIE kinda looking T-shirts! But it was worth it!! haha.. 4 T-shirts for RM10! haha.. And I bought one pair of sunglasses. It looked soo vintage!

The next day, we did nothing actually. We went to my aunt's shop and I had fish and chips! After that, I went to KERRY's to buy some prepaid cards and then we went home and hang out with my cousin until it was maghrib. After maghrib, my aunt and my uncle brought us to dinner at 7 spices. It was damn good!! It only served nothern indian kinda food. But there were some MAMAK looked alike food there.. haha.. After that, we went back home and I hang out with my cousin again!

The next day, my cousin and I went to Shah Alam! And I am finally home! haha.. My cousin came here because he wanted me to bring him to the fly fm party! So, I eventually brought him there and it was his first party ever!! hahahahahah!!! I am such a good cousin right?

stressful doing nothing DAY!

Its like PMS for guys !

ok, yesterday you would not believe what I had for desert! I had sorbet, I mixed my dark chocolate and pear. But after I was full, I read the menu and guess what?! the PEAR sorbet was actually called PEAR with WHITE wine!! hahaha, But I guess they did not put any of it there because I did not feel woozy, or whtsoever.. -.-"
and that night, I slept at my sister's house..

Today, after coming home from my sister's house I was suppose to pick my cousin up at Shah Alam Bus station and I wanna packed my bags to sleepover again at my sister;s house. But then my cousin stop at Melaka and was suppose to hitch a ride with my uncle but then for some particular reasons, my uncle was late. So, he had to turn back to JB! shitty, I know.. So, I stayed home for a bit and had a nap.

something happen but I forgot how it went.. hmmm..

But I recieved a call from my other sister(zaza) and she was like scolding me because my other sister(weween) scold her because she left me alone at home.. like wth?! She(zaza) started screaming at me because the plan was that I stayed at my other sister house because of some particular reasons I couldn't tell.. But I was like WTF!! I was soo mad at her because she was mad at me and that she was screaming.. Ok, the reason she was screaming is because that her friends are going to stay at my house and I was there.. So,macam SPOIL la kan? But who the hell cares man?! Plus, I never said that I wanted to stay at my sister(weween) house for the whole week. She is practically HALAU-ing me to go outside the house just because her friends are going to sleep over?!! URGH!! And then I was soo mad at her I shouted at her ears "DAH LAH! NICK TIDO UMAH KAK WEEN! DONT TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN!!" and I cried because of that.. And she asked me why I cried.. I said because I miss my mom -.-" cliche! But actually I cried because she was making me soooooo MAD! haiih! I never remember making any plans about to stay at my sister's house for 2 days.. And so, my sister who scolded me felt bad and brought me to MCD! yeayea whtever! still mad at her though! And I make plans to go to JB and stay with my cousin for 4 days!

hmph, toodles!

why has everything change?

Finally my possy just spoke up !

Yesterday, it was like FRIENDS MAD AT ME day . haha,
Atiq was mad at me because I always boss him around, I mean like if he does not want me to boss him around just tell me off lah. I know I am like the "KING BEE" of my friends but I ain't that bad. Atiq slamed the door at me, wth?! haha. he come around.

So, to get over that fight I followed my other set of friends to hang out at the mamak stall. Guess what?! They were like mad at me as well. For the same reason,! hahaha.. This is like one of those teen movies where the popular girl(the most bitchiest) were being ditch! haha, but for me. I was a GUY! And I am not "BITCHY" only bossy(kot) ! Plus, at that moment I really felt like I had lost all of my friends! hahahaha,

But when they sent me home they did not spoke a word.

As I arrived home, Atiq came and run to me and said "I bought a new phone!" and he showed me.. OMG! it was an LG KS360 phone! I was soo happy and yet a little bit envy of him. Finally I can call him now for him to get my laundry and booked some movie tickets or whatsoever.
ahaha. okok. He is my friend. A very good one perhaps. But I am natural born KING BEE I am the leader of the pack. They have to like LISTEN to me.. DUH!

So, I played with his phone..

At that night, the other set of friends Lily,danny bla bla bla and stuffs called me and asked me out to go to Joey's "mom not home" party at his house. I was like not in the mood to get wild and party. So, I rather stay home and watch THS. haha,

so, the moral of the story is.. (this only goes out to queen/king bees NOT wanna bees)

"do not worry if your ARMY(friends) ditch you or get mad at you. Because fortunately they would come running back to you."

no hope

The dream has all been burned! The hope has turned into ashes! The chances has turned into smoke!

That condition best describe me of having my 8 A's! I hope that I would get them. But my family thinks that I have no hope of getting any of it. My mum said that she would pray the best for me for my results. But, what if the best for me is 8C's? She would be the one who is disappointed. Because I know I had try my best and whatever happens. It's fate! And I am ready to be blindfolded and not turning back to what has just happen. My aunt asked me about "how many A's" would I get. I answered 8A's, but she smiled and said "haha, okok REALITY la."
My brother said that I would only get 3A's because for my trials, I was collecting D's instead of A's..

I really really really want to have 8A's and I have promised to my family that I will not asked for anything if I get 8A's because 8A's is something that I want to achieve and 8A's itself would be the best present ever! And seeing my family being sooo proud of me... That would be soooooo freaking COOL! Because I have not achieve anything in my life so far.. Now, this is the time..

until then,

one second

i look so hot kan? *sarcastic*

Just watch High School Musical for the 2nd time! OH MY GAWD! Bosan much?! But I really do think that I look so much like Zac Efron.. hahahahaha.. haaaa,
today is suppose to be a relaxing ME time type of day and I was planning to have lunch with my aunty.. I mean, she was PLANNING to have lunch with me. :) So, okay lah! I do not mind it that much since I am saving my money for the next 46 days when my mum is not around.

So far, everyone is being nice. SMS-ed me about that they are willing to help if I need help about anything when my mum is not around. My uncle give me nasi briyani for dinner yesterday and I thought to save it for lunch today. But my aunty had asked me to go for lunch today kan? So I planned to save that nasi briyani for dinner.

I hoped that my mum would pray for me to get my 8A's.. I hoped that would get my 8A's..

so,,
toodles

until then,

love,
Nick

missing

I just sent my brother and my mother to tabung haji kelana jaya to sent them to HAJJ! I will not see my mom for 1 and a half months doh!! I am soo gonna miss her,

until then,

p/s: I cried