"I'm going to be very happy today"

I wake up in the morning, hesitating every step of me going to the toilet and have a bath. I want to stay in bed waking up at 1pm and then have lunch for breakfast and tea for lunch. But life is somewhat unfair and so I have to go to school and face the music which is the melody of failure when I get my mid term results.

As I was staring at myself in the mirror, I kept repeating these lines in my head while I brush my teeth and wash my face and even when I took my bath "Nick, you are going to be very happy today". Because my mom always said that your mind controls everything that you do, and she even said that if you tell your mind something and automatically your body will follow what the brain has been told to do. So, I tried commanding my brain to tell myself that I will be very happy today. Will I?

The morning assembly that I hate the most, all I hear is BLA BLA BLA when I just want to hear BLA. Then the discipline teacher said "Pengawas, sila pastikan bahawa pelajar memotong rambut dan memakai lencana, tali leher dan sebagainya pada hari esok" I was like shit! I do not want to cut my hair. Why should I anyway right?

An hour after the assembly, first period starts-- SCIENCE! Science in form 4 is kind of hard but to think of it, it's not very hard compared to the science students who is taking chemistry and physics. So, I am very lucky to be taking science besides Physics and Chemistry. But since this is my first time taking an actual SPM format paper which was very different from the PMR paper, I would be expecting a G9 or an E8. But instead, I recieved a C6
I'm not that happy but I feel ok.

Second period--Economics, my paper one was ok which was 20/40 but my teacher said everyone screwed paper 2. Guess what? I failed :( Yes, I failed my economics, the subject that I studied the most, the subject that was supposedly to be very very easy to score which I thought I would score but apparently, I recieved a G9 for my economics. But, I am looking at the brightside of all of this because my teacher said it is not confirmed yet that those results are true because it could be more when Pn. Salwani checked the paper and it also could be less. Lets pray hard that I will not fail Economics, because it is just simply impossible. just IMPOSSIBLE!

After reccess--Bahasa Malaysia, which I know I screwed and I know that I will not fail and maybe get a C. But we only get the marks of our paper 2. Which I really really screwed and I got 32/110. But maybe paper 1 could save my ass. I choked everytime I think about the results. Tomorrow is doomsday, Additional Mathematics and History. Maybe I could score my Agama which I always score :) Wait Nick, don't be too confident. I'm not even confident for getting an A for english. Its so URGH!

After Bahasa Malaysia, we were suppose to go to the hall because there is this Career Talk thingy that we are suppose to listen to for an hour. Which was very boring and yet very helpful at the same time. I am still not sure what I am going to do after my SPM but I am sure it is about business and designing.

English was ok. We did not get our papers yet, but we played this countable noun and uncountable nouns shit that to me is like a 4 year old game and obviously everyone WON! -.-"

I went back home around 2.30 and bath. I told my mom about my results and she was dissapointed obviously. I had lunch and slept until maghrib.

THE MIND CONTROLS THE BODY THINGY IS SO NOT TRUE, I FEEL SAD NOW. I THINK THAT LUCK CONTROLS THE BODY AND MIND. dont you agree?

until then,